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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For looking forward to the time when ds is no longer a baby?

63 replies

peggotty · 20/07/2008 20:54

I have discovered that I really really don't enjoy the 'baby stage'. I didn't with dd who was an 'easy' baby, and so far the 1st six months of ds' life have left me a stressed out, physical and emotional wreck. I hate the obssessing about what he eats/how much he sleeps etc etc etc. I won't be having any more children so part of me thinks I should be attempting to enjoy his babyhood, but you know what, I just can't. I am looking forward to him being a toddler (yes, even tantrums etc), being able have a conversation with him, read him proper stories, watch him and dd play together (especially that part . Am I going to regret feeling this way?

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 20/07/2008 21:35

Agree with everyone who's not mad keen on babies. Mine are now 10 and 4 and it's so much easier and they're lovely company and great fun. I went back to work when dd was 4 months old partly because I didn't want to be at home with her.

AbstractMouse · 20/07/2008 21:35

I don't think YABU tbh, the baby stage is such hard work (and I have had pretty good sleepers thank god, but enough of the 4am pacing to appreciate). But I think I'm sometimes guilty of thinking the next stage will be better, when in fact I don't think stages are any easier or harder than each other, just different pluses and minuses. Although a full night's sleep will always put things in a more positive light.

I still long for the tiny baby stage (ds is 21 months) which is why we're trying for another one. I am so hoping for a relatively external stress free newborn period so I can just get on with it and get it out of my system.

Also are you sure about the final baby thing? I have said that for each child (and I never even wanted one in the first place lol)

It's easy to romanticise the baby stage when your not in it

Countingthegreyhairs · 20/07/2008 21:35

I love the baby stage - sorry!

They are so portable and COMPLIANT ....no negotiating involved ....

Have been sorting out baby clothes today same as you eddijo and sharing your broody moment

Probably a reaction to my nearly-5 year who is quite hard work at the moment ... she stalks me around the house and NEVER STOPS TALKING ...and if I ask for a "Mummy 2 mins" alone she sits outside the door of my office and shouts every 10 seconds "is the two minutes up yet Mummy?" which rather defeats the object .. grrrrrrrrrrr

Oh for the days of peaceful afternoon naps ...

Countingthegreyhairs · 20/07/2008 21:37

want mine on loan Mother Inferior?

Original poster
peggotty · 20/07/2008 21:37

Counting - compliant !??! Not in this house

OP posts:
Original poster
peggotty · 20/07/2008 21:37

Counting - compliant !??! Not in this house

OP posts:
sarah293 · 20/07/2008 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

spudballoo · 20/07/2008 21:38

I'm totally with you. My first son was very straightforward, but i definitely enjoyed him a lot more once he'd turned one.

My 2nd son was NOT straightforward, and the frist 6 months were dreadful, the next 6 weren't brilliant. But now he's 17 months and my eldest is gettin on for 3 it's lovely.

I agree. Toddlers rock, newborns and little babies are a bore. I don't 'mourn' it one little bit to be honest. Newborns don't make me broody, and I can't shift the baby clothes/kit fast enough!

I'm with you, roll on the toddler years! xx

kekouan · 20/07/2008 21:42

YANBU. DS is almost 8 months.

Countingthegreyhairs · 20/07/2008 22:03

haven't met a baby yet who begged to wear a fairy costume to church or who cried because it's toast was cut in to triangles and not squares

Bet your ds will turn in to an angelic 4 yr old Peggoty!

Countingthegreyhairs · 20/07/2008 22:04

it's ???

eddiejo · 20/07/2008 22:35

Oh countingthe grey hairs!! I am also the proud owner of a 5 year old that never stops talking. blah. blah. blah....

He drives me mad but i adore him. I remember once him demanding to take control of the conversation at about 2.5 and when we finally gave in he said " do you know when you come through the doorhole you go through a doorhole" He will actually make crap up just to keep talking

We think he is going to be a negotiater or similar when he's older.

kekouan · 20/07/2008 22:43

'owner' of a 5 year old?

eddiejo · 20/07/2008 22:45

Yes I own him!
It's very late and I'm very tired?>?????????

mummimamma · 21/07/2008 03:14

Personally, I am counting down until mine start college (they are 5 and 2). Seriously, I think they are absolutely lovely as little babies, when they also can be bloody hard work (both of mine were colicky), and I can really miss the baby smells and the feeling of absolute bliss and peace when they are finally asleep in your arms. Sigh.

Now my five year old never shuts up (when we're past this phase, I never want to hear about dinosaurs again - ever!), and the 2 year old DD is super cute, but we also call her Stalin, not without reason. Some days I just want to get on a bus and get out of here.

There's no way I am having another baby, though!

nooka · 21/07/2008 03:46

I think it really depends on the sort of person you are. I found my children stressful and I have to admit quite boring as babies, but enjoy them more and more as they grow up. I would swop a tantrum or several hundred "why"'s any day compared to the desperation of trying to get a screaming baby to go to sleep, or to eat at least some of the lovely ice cubes of fresh veg that you have slaved over. I also enjoy far more the bewildering and fantastic conversations of a preschooler or the more serious and "companionish" ones of primary age to the contentment of baby gazing. But then I never really liked babies much before I had mine, and have no broodiness now.

I went back to work at 6mths with ds and 3 with dd. My lovely nanny on the other hand adored the baby stages (great!) so that worked out very well.

There will be times that you remember fondly, but I don't think you can regret/miss something you never experienced.

sabire · 21/07/2008 05:33

Sorry Riven

To the OP
I read your post and got a flash of guilt because I've been wishing away the last few months before my ds1 and ds2 start school and nursery. Ds1 is no trouble and never has been, but ds2 has exhausted me beyond anything I could have imagined..... the electrical hardwear he's vandalised, the toothpaste tubes he's squeezed, the pets he's bullied, the walls he's crayoned, the tantrums, the shouting, the obsessions with keys/my hair dryer/public toilets/water fountains/plugs/dog poo/the microwave/the telephone........ he's such hard work.

But oddly he's the one I'm most bonded to of my three. It's a big love fest when we're together.

I know I'm going to go into a blue funk when he's finally off my hands all day, but right now I'm craving some time to myself that's not filled with mopping up after a destructive toddler.

sarah293 · 21/07/2008 07:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Janos · 21/07/2008 08:21

Oh no peggotty YANBU. I didn't like the baby stage at all, far prefer the toddler stage (yes, even with tantrums) because I can have conversations with DS and really enjoy his company

Oh, and he sleeps properly now. The not sleeping was absolute tortures for me.

Oblomov · 21/07/2008 08:29

I do like the baby stage.
Although I do not generally go ga ga over babies, and my friends do not think of me as maternal, I certainly enjoyed ds as a baby.
However, my mum says that the age of 2-5 is a very precious stage. The most beautiful stage. And I agree. Ds hasn't really had tantrums. But he has been challenging. But he is so sweet. And I agree. This stage before they go to school is a very very beautiful one.

frootloop · 21/07/2008 09:46

YANBU, im hating the baby stage. im sat here waiting with almost dread for ds to wake up from his nap, its just sooo exhausting.

if i get broody again im getting a puppy

sabire · 21/07/2008 09:55

I also go ga ga over babies...... but toddlers. Eeek! It's because I'm so lazy.

Babies are easy (well - mine were, as long as you were happy to shove a boob in their face all day and carry them around, which I was). You don't have to think with babies - it's like they're an extension of your own body. You don't even have to pay much attention to them, just cuddle them and feed them, and make silly faces at them.

lalalonglegs · 21/07/2008 09:58

Baby stage is horrible - find it very hard not to feel deep loathing and barely suppressed violence towards those who say that they love new-borns and treasure every minute of it. Wish babies were born mobile and talking. And does the new-born smell really exist? Only ever been able to detect vomit on my three.

Countingthegreyhairs · 21/07/2008 10:03

Yes, sorry Riven, we shouldn't be complaining at all ...

Eddiejo > "He will actually make crap up just to keep talking"

Mine's EXACTLY the same, I think we should get them together - then they can try and out-talk one another - problem solved

Mummimama > Oh I'm with you with the lovely baby smells .... (even broodier emoticon)

Countingthegreyhairs · 21/07/2008 10:05

x-posts lalalonglegs!

  • you don't happen to be wielding a meat cleaver do you?

[runs away as fast as possible ]

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