for saying NO to disney princess and Bratz

[knockedup]

I've just really insulted my MIL but I really don't think I'm being unreasonable.....or am I?

DD is 2.5. Her cousin is a year older. MIL buys the girls exactly the same thing for birthdays and christmas. It's what she did with her own children and what she does with me and 2 SIL's, her sons. I't wierd we all get the same thing! Anyway, my DD gets whatever older cousin wants except they're 2 complete opposites and it's really starting to annoy me.

My DD is a tomboy. A jeans and t-shirt kind of girl who loves running about and scrapping in the park mainly with boys! She is in touch with her feminine side too but not in a prissy girly way.

Her cousin is hugely into disney princess, baby alive and Bratz! she is always dressed up in a princess dress. Fine but I feel MIL is wasting her money buying my DD all this crap as she just isn't interested in it and I really don't want her to be.

Anyway - she turned up yesterday with a Jasmine top from Disney princess which is basically a boob tube with puff sleeves because her older cousin's got one and I said very nicely that I was really grateful for all the lovely clothes and hand me downs we've had recently but I didn't think this top is age appropriate for a 2.5 year old.

My MIL looked totally insulted and tried to dismiss me as being over the top and that 'it'll not do her any harm' so feeling bad I relented and said she can have it for dress up but I hate it now (maybe I'm over reacting) Can't she just look at my DD for who she is and buy her a blimming board game or colouring books or something that she's going to use and like, and not what she thinks girls should like.

Or am I wasting my time trying to prevent my DD becoming a Bratz girl?

Not buy an argos catalogue, just pick one up sorry, you know what i mean!

I don't have a problem with the pair up of presents. My mum does this. But I think it's because it makes present buying easier for her and also it keeps everything equal. So it avoids kids bickering about the other one getting something better because of course they are the same thing.

I agree with others that the time to voice your opinion on presents is before they are bought and not when they are handed over.

If ever I believed a child's toy to be spawn of the devil, then it is undoubtedly bratz. I band them and I bad Barbie. I let all other things girly pass through the doors. I could have written your post when DD was 2.5 (she is 5 now). Much to my shock and disgust, she went to nursery and found all things girly and there was no stopping her. I was forced to cave in to pink clothes, polly pockets, my first pony, and so on. But I stand my ground on Bratz and Barbie. Just wait until you see what people buy her when you start having birthday parties.

I think if you really hate girly things for your daughter and you are perfectly entitled to this view you should pick the worst of the worst and chill out on the rest. You are fighting an uphill battle if you try to ban them all. I think a lot of people put Bratz on this list.

Oh, and let's all remember how the lovely WH Smith maintains their disgraceful policy of marketing playboy to children.

banned not band

mrz" My dds would love that for dressing up, too.

We have also had Bratz dolls but my dds don't like them as we lose the feet and they're not keen on the heads. They love Barbie/My Scene dolls.

YANBU I give my MIL a list of "suggestions" of gifts for the girls.

Bratz stuff will get into my house over my cold, dead body.

I'm ok with disney princess though.

The boob-tube sounds vile!!

Monkies

If it's a gift, I'd say thank you very much and then I'd make a point of saying dd had worn it...even if she hadn't. Then I'd flog it at a car boot or on Ebay and give the money to dd.

I don't want my mil to waste her money on tat, but I do want her to think she's involved in her grand-daughter's life and that she knows what she will like. The fact that grandma's wildly off the mark 9 times out of ten doesn't really matter. The main thing is that the MIL's happy and no-one's hurt.

Over the years, DD (now 7) has become proficient at (a) dropping hints that she doesn't like this kind of thing and (b) giving that fixed smile and thank you, which even MIL knows is fake. I do try to coach dd into more believable fake smiles, before anyone attacks us, and she knows not to upset others, but she's still young. And she's getting better at it.

I think YAB a little bit U. No-one's being hurt by this and your MIL is trying to be fair by buying both GD's the same gifts...mad though this turns out to be when you're dealing with different ages and personalities. At least she's not lavishing gifts on the other GD and ignoring yours. That would be much worse!

BTW dd never liked Bratz. Did a spell of Barbie but quickly grew out of it. Did the princess thing hugely when she was 3/4. Insisted on having her pink bedroom painted dark blue last summer!

I think sometimes if you totally ban this stuff, kids hanker after it all the more. That's certainly what happened with my friends dd who is now 8 and still totally obsessed with pink, feathers and fairies, despite not being allowed them in the house!

I have another confession...

I took the said Disney Princess Jasmine costume to school for the dressing up area...and one of my boys wears it at every opportunity

Mrz - and why not?

It's the long-term waste that would get to me. My mother was like this - always bought what she would have liked as a kid regardless. Very hard to tactfully derail this habit but given the huge number of presents yet to come I would probably give it a try.

Dd discovered the princesses on a trip to her cousins in the US a few months a go and we have mysteriously aquired quite a few bits and bobs since then (fairies must be buying them...). There are days when I really insist she wears sensible trousers and a T-shirt but it's quite a battle. It's princesses, fairies and frocks all the way these day (she's just 3). I would never have imagined I could produce such a girly child. I'm hoping if I go with it it will just be a phase...

But not Bratz. There has to be a line somewhere.

Justaboutgrownup speaks sense. And I think it probably is true that she buys the same to avoid all hint of superior gift going to one child.