To think rewarding children like this for Y6 SATS results is way over the top

[StellaDallas]

DD1's class got their SATs results yesterday. Her's were very good, we were proud of her and told her so.
She came home from school today and informed me that many of her classmates got lavish presents for their results. One got £50, one got £75, one got a Wii, one is being taken to Paris...
I said - well in our family it doesn't work that way. She looked a bit glum...
Are we mean?

I paid for my DD (13) to have a mani pedi as a reward for her school report, It was academically excellent but the "well mannered, polite, extremely hard working" remarks were what made me most proud. She had no idea about the reward and was delighted by the treat. Cost 30 quid.

I agree Turniphead1 that children need to be taught to self motivate and do their best for themselves.

I didn't promise mine anything, pleased that DS got nearly all 4's, we knew he'd never get that for his writing and will have a family meal at the weekend.

We are still having a dilemma about his - my stepson yesterday won 'best in class' for putting in the effort and for helping others etc....

completely out of the blue (he is not very academic, dyslexic and has always been a bit of a dreamer) we are all really proud of him and have told him so...

but we were wondering if we should get him a little suprise ( ie a new t-shirt or something - he is 12 and getting into clothes)...

or do we just kept congratulating him? He is a very unspolit child so wouldn't at all expect anything.

I still think I did the right thing by offering the fiver. Maybe my situation is different. DS2 is so volatile -- it is entirely possible that without the financial incentive he might have treated the SATS exactly as he treated all SATS homework and several practice tests given during the year and either ditched it or written one-word wrong answers for the fun of it. And what purpose would that have served either himself or the school (of which I am a parent governor)?

I have celebrated afterwards with a special meal but never bribed beforehand. I wonder what they are going to do with GCSEs and A'levels if they spend a fortune on SATs which don't matter! (probably a car!)

Every child is different. Ds often responds weel to bribery but I didn't want to set him up for failure. He said he didn't want 5s as they're for nerds (just as well really!) but I knew his confidence would take a knock if he ploughed them and if he hadn't acheived a goal/bribe as well, he'd have really lost it.

No you are not being mean, But I woud treat her in some way. How about a trip to a coffee shop for a cake and drink,

There have been a lot of threads about this lately.

I am massively in favour of buying them a book as a reward for good SATs (reward AFTER the event, not bribe before the event) and maybe going out for pizza or something as a family. Money - no, no, no.

Remember some parents will be taking them out for a meal or be going for a holiday or something anyway; nowt wrong then with telling them it's a reward for good effort, methinks.

I got DD1 a Double Decker for getting great SATs results - does that count as lavish?

PuppyMonkey - reminds me of Richmond Tests (anyone else remember them?). If I did well I got a Cornetto on the way home from school!
Have a few years to g before my LO comes up against SATs - God knows what they'll be after by then.

Double Deckers are ALWAYS a good reward/incentive!

Dh bought ds1 a small chocolate plaque from Thorntons saying "Fantastic SATs ds1!" and a chocolate medal.

DS1 is thrilled. His SATs were fab and all his best mates got medals at school for their swimming, so we wanted to give him a reward too.

Heres my 2p :)

I agree kids shouldn't need to be bribed and want to do well for their own good regarding exams, but I also realise:

A) Its not an ideal world, and with some kids it can give them a kick up the bum if they are more money focused than achievement orientated & is pretty much the last resort. (My brothers friends mum was at her wits end and came up with the following system:

£50 for an A*
£30 for an A
£20 for an B
£10 for a C
-£5 for a D
-£10 for a E
-£20 for an F
-£30 for a G
-£50 for a U

So, if he got 10 A*s he would of 'earnt' £500, or if he got 10 U's he owed his mum £500.

My mum was seriously considering this with my brother, and tbh it probably would of worked because he is incredible with real work earning money- fab work ethic, but always got crap reports for academic stuff, and I suppose this method bridges the gap.

B) Some kids I suspect are still wayyy too young to understand the long term effects of revising, and short term rewards work better.

C) I wouldn't be against getting the kid a Wii or something if they had worked really hard + you can afford it after the results but not telling them before- At GCSE I got The Sims 3 (I think) & A-level Wii fit and really appreciated it (plus, I think my mum wanted it anyway :P)

:) Just my 2p

Also will add that I'm not a parent :) But at Uni and have a sib who turned 18 this year :)

we give money for good reports normally a fiver , these are end of year reports but my DS 1 is taking his options and we have said

£50.00 for every A grade

£35.00 for every B grade

and £20.00 for every C grade

SATS though are meanigless though aren't they ?

I thought they were there just to stream them for going into secondary school but they still weren't gospel

What a sad thread. Surely it's the effort that should be rewarded not the grade. I took our DD on a little holiday she wanted greatly last summer when she got into a very selective school - it was a treat and she would have had it whether she had got in or not - the entire process was very stressful and whatever had happened we would have been as proud of her as ever and have loved her every bit as much. The same goes for the DS - whether he gets a full suite of A*s or not - he will still be the DS warts an all.

dd1 won the y4-6 sportsmanship award last year (ie being nice) and got accepted onto the regional gifted programme this year. i said 'oh, well done bunny!' both times and gave her a hug.

she's y6 now. i don't think we're getting results until later. d'ya think i should, um, make more effort from a material pov?

I remember being one of the only ones at school who wasn't bribed rewarded for high grades. I was always taught that the reward for achievements was my own sense of satisfaction at having done well. To be honest, this was reward enough and it didn't hold me back. Both my sister and I achieved the best results in our respective school years and went on to get good Oxbridge degrees - without any external motivators.

I want dd to be self-motivated, and to know that the reward for her hard work will be her own pride in her achievements. So no handouts from us, I'm afraid! But she will know that we're proud of her, and that we love her no matter what.

I hate SATS in year 6, I was told they were a really big deal, I had to do well to get in the right sets at comprehensive by my teachers. I worked really hard got 100% in Science and Maths (L5) 95% in English (L5) only to discover they were worthless, my grades really dropped then for a year or two because I thought there was no point bothering. My mum did buy me the expensive tennis racket and Violin I had wanted but I didnt know beforehand I dont think any extra pressure should be put on SATS.

This is a 3 year old thread!

We did not give anything to DD1 after her sats but when she passed her 11+entrance ( it was genuinly "extraordinary" as she had no tutoring whatsoever), she wanted a laptop (not because she had passed,she was saving toward one herself) but could not quite afford it so we topped up her money a bit.

I never had anything when brilliantly passing exams myself and never thought I should have! I think the pride of having done their best in most cases is enough.

I think, FWIW, that those who have suggested simple family doo/dinner to draw attention to and acknowledge a child's hard work and achievement is a great idea. Comparison of gifts & cash amounts in playground just sounds awful and no way to value our children. Someone else always gets something better/more expensive. (I never had anything other than a big hug, an 'I'm proud of you' and a lovely smile from my mum, and that meant everything).