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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think rewarding children like this for Y6 SATS results is way over the top

74 replies

StellaDallas · 16/07/2008 21:22

DD1's class got their SATs results yesterday. Her's were very good, we were proud of her and told her so.
She came home from school today and informed me that many of her classmates got lavish presents for their results. One got £50, one got £75, one got a Wii, one is being taken to Paris...
I said - well in our family it doesn't work that way. She looked a bit glum...
Are we mean?

OP posts:

toobusymum · 16/07/2008 22:48

DD1 got a prize for being caring and kind last summer I have to add that our primary school has always been very keen on the dcs looking out for each other, being caring, etc, as well as acedemic success. They work hard at both.

OrmIrian · 16/07/2008 22:51

Ooh does that mean I can justify his new skateboard for being nice? Good. Because his report told me he was a lovely lad, kind, caring and polite. So ner.

And as a clever boy who is also lazy as feck, I think he deserved a reward for changing the habits of a lifetime. Long may it last.

toobusymum · 16/07/2008 22:54

Original poster

StellaDallas · 16/07/2008 22:56

We have a lot of family birthdays this month so will be going out for a meal anyway. But I would also like to reward DD2 whose report said she was 'thoughtful and well-mannered' 'friendly' and 'works hard' and DD3 who, much to our surprise 'sets an superb example of good behaviour' and 'has been a pleasure to teach'.
That is what I am proud of, not the numbers.

OP posts:

Remotew · 16/07/2008 22:57

YANBU, however I would celebrate a little, perhaps do something that you want to anyway i.e cinema, cheap italian as a family and toast her hard work. That's what I usually do.

mousehole · 16/07/2008 22:58

This reply has been withdrawn

withdrawn at poster's request

May2December · 16/07/2008 22:59

Give her a big kiss and loads of attention and praise!! Worth ten times a 'Wii' in my book. You are right to be proud!

Original poster

StellaDallas · 16/07/2008 23:00

Maybe I'll take them all to see Mamma Mia!

OP posts:

GodzillasBumcheek · 16/07/2008 23:02

We have their provisional SATs results. Very good (for them, anyway!)...won't be buying them anything though. they haven't mentioned if anyone else they know is getting anything, probably because they know it's unlikely we'd afford to get them much. I should think they'd enjoy an ice cream if i wanted to push the boat out

Jux · 16/07/2008 23:10

I remember one girl at my school got a CAR for passing her O levels! I got a well done (but I doubt that I did as brilliantly as she did). I didn't expect anything anyway - just as well I guess

Original poster

StellaDallas · 16/07/2008 23:15

Jux - I got mostly As and Bs and two Cs in mine and my mother's only comment was 'your brother didn't get any Cs'.
Remind me not to say that to my children.

OP posts:

myredcardigan · 16/07/2008 23:18

DH has never forgotten his 8 As and one B. His father (in all seriousness) said,'what happened there? If you'd put the extra effort in that could have been an A'. It hurts him to remember it too.

specialmagiclady · 16/07/2008 23:19

Met a woman recently who was bribing her child who was in RECEPTION with Wii etc.

I was appalled and terrified.

Blandmum · 16/07/2008 23:23

When I got my A level results and got into Oxford uni my mother's only comment to me was 'I'm glad the results are in, she's been very difficult to live with recently'

Nice.

I'm not going to use that one with my two either

Jonut · 16/07/2008 23:59

Do all children in year 2 do SATS? I always presumed that they did but DD1 is now coming to the end of Yr2 and we've heard nothing about any exams?

Jampot · 17/07/2008 00:09

not mean but im inclined to think there's a bit of one upmanship going on.

After all who really takes that much notice of sats? At last week's year 6 leavers evening, after the leavers put on a show for the parents the Head commented that this was what it was all about, they only do SATS because the government tell them to. Its a high achieving school in a good area and the real success shows in the child (in my humble opinion)

dh bought ds a Top Gear magazine for his good results!

cory · 17/07/2008 09:16

We had this conversation just before SATS week.
-Mum, X has been promised a laptop if she gets 5b in literacy. You're not going to give me anything, are you?
-No, I'm afraid you've read that situation correctly. You know I'm not.

And she actually looked quite relieved.

I was particularly glad of this when she fell ill at the beginning of SATS week and had to dictate to a LSA from her bed, being to dizzy to sit up at the table and with too much wrist pain to hold a pen. At least I hadn't put any additional pressure on her.

ByTheSea · 17/07/2008 09:25

My DS2-11 has some quite severe emotional and behavioural issues but is very bright. He is capable of doing very well academically, but getting him to put in any effort at all is a long uphill battle. That said, money is a (maybe the only) motivator for him. While I am not very fussed about SATS in general, I wanted him at least to try his best when he took the test and not to just write in the minimum when all of us know he's capable of so much more. So, I promised him a fiver for each five he brought home on his Y6 SATS. I now owe him £15.

moanylisa · 17/07/2008 09:27

I can't stand the extra pressure put on kids over SATS exams - I felt they stripped any pleasure out of Y6 for my dd1, and shouldn't even be noticed by children this age or younger. Why aren't the schools doing more to convey to the parents that these tests are designed to assess how effective the teaching is at a school, not the individual aptitude of the kids? I wouldn't give a bean for a good mark in a SATS paper - I wish I was a teacher and could phone these daft parents and say there had been a mistake, and can you hand over my X-box please?...

KateF · 17/07/2008 09:32

Blimey-mine got a Dominos pizza (their choice) and a big hug for their good reports! I had not made any fuss about SATS for dd2 (Yr2)as she is severely dyslexic and I had not expected much - I was as chuffed with her 2B in reading and 2C in writing as I could possibly be, a huge achievement for her, but I'm not shelling out hard cash!

VictorianSqualor · 17/07/2008 09:40

Does she go to the most expensive school in Britain?
Are these gifts the equivalent of me taking DD to buy a new lunch bag and P.E bag for next year for a good report?

Original poster

StellaDallas · 17/07/2008 13:49

Bizarrely VS, our school is not in a wealthy area, in fact I would say we are below average in terms of household income.

OP posts:

fircone · 17/07/2008 13:58

After ds's piano exam, we all went to choose a hamster. He was really thrilled with that treat.

Achievements get a big hug.

Dh veers more towards material rewards so we are always having behind the scenes verbal punch-ups on this issue.

Turniphead1 · 17/07/2008 13:58

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

cory · 17/07/2008 14:02

Well, the results are here and I feel justified. Dd's friend did not make the required grade after all (it was a 5 a she had to get, apparently). I do hope her Mum will buy her the laptop anyway, but it will still diminish the pleasure of the perfectly good grades she did get. Dd, on the other hand, knows I am proud of her. That is enough.

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