To think this baby should be on some solids by now

[tuttuttut]

A friend of mine has a 9.5 month old ds who is exclusively breastfed. He has not had anything else pass his lips yet. She is a brilliant mother (she is attachment parenting - probably not relevent though)

Please tell me if i'm wrong and i'll stop worrying but i really thought at this age babies need solids due to there iron levels depleting. Also i thought solids help with speech development because of the chewing?

Everytime i see her i casually ask if he's had any solids yet and she says "i don't think he's ready". He has no sn by the way.

I have suggested BLW as i thought this would suit them but still no. Is this not as 'bad' as mother's thinking their baby is ready at 4 months really?

tut, it is hard when there are babies involved, but IMHO, if you have spoken to her and voiced your concerns and have given her info and directed her to websites, there's not much else you can do is there?
If she has all the current info and advice and still stands by that her dc isn't ready, that's her choice, I'd say.
You have been a good friend and done what you can.....

out of interest those of you who didnt stick to guidelines how did that work out for you?

i ask because dd1 was the first baby in our family for a long time. in retrospect i believe i was suffering from pnd as it took me a long time to bond with her. i just sort of got with caring for her rather than enjoying her iyswim? as a result my family took over much of her care and pushed me into weaning at four months excatly despite the fact that she wasnt ready. she is very poor eater even at four years and still refuses food with stronger flavours.

with dd2 otoh i stuck to my ground and refused to wean untill she was ready, though she had 'tastes' of baby rice at five and half months due to dp listening to his mum and pestering that we were leaving her too late. dd2 would eat horse muck if it was offered to her.

i dont know what you could say to your friend without offending her tutt, but maybe suggest she speaks to her hv?

I weaned at 4 months as per guidelines back then.

5 years ago many babies were ready to be weaned at 4 months. 5 years on the know-it-all's who go on about waiting until six months will tell you that for the past few centuries all those parents got it wrong and it is only in the past 5 years that people have realized all those babies were weaned incoorectly at 4 months.

I weaned DS1 and 2 at 4 monthsd (purees)

DS1 - fussy eater from the word go, not too bad now (aged 7) he will eat most things, but lots of it reluctantly - and purely out of politeness.

DS2 - eats like a horse, if you put anything vaguely edible in front of him he'll eat it without blinking.

DS3 - tried to start BLW at just before 6 months, he picked at a few bits, and continued to hardly touch anything until he went onto cows milk at 11 1/2 months. Now 13 months and starting to really go for it.........time will tell how fussy (or not) he actually is.

ds1 was weaned early (am not recommending it, he has allergies but he wouldn't gain weight and I was desperate), he weaned very easily and is an exceptional eater now.

but although ds4 is low weight and showing signs of readiness I will not be weaning him for a good while, I would say about 5 months is likely.

wannabe, my dh was weaned at 6 weeks as was the norm then according to mil.

many people do not accurately understand what the signs of readiness and for solid food are

maybe this woman does

none of your business, YABU

if people make an informed decision to wean early or late, then fine.

you don;t know how much reading or research she has done to support what she is doing now

I weaned dd2 when she was 3 months but only because i thought she was nearly 6 months

Jeez he must be breastfeeding continually, my DS was near to 7 months before he was on solids, had tried a few times previous to that but he wasn't ready.

?honey?...lol

I can't imagine any of mine getting to 9.5 mths of age with out solids and not screaming the place down...maybe she isn't ready? Sme children don't have much appetite, others have big ones!

I do remember reading that their is an age (10mths i think ) that after this a reflex (or something) that helpes with chewing starts disappearng. So that would be my only concern.

It's nice to hear that you care about yur friends little one so much.

My first daughter was ff and weaned at 3 months (was the recommendation then)..she eats anything and everything now and always has done, no health problems yet.
ds1 was 4 months, no health problems, not fussy either.
ds2 was 6 months, brill eater, no health problems.
ds3, breast-fed for just over a year and weaned at 6 months, bloating and constipation from an early age, horrendous migranes and extremely fussy eater, will only eat cheerios and plain pasta!
the 4 others were ff and weaned at 6 mths....no probs, no fussiness.

So just the 1 that we have had problems with.

(someone did ask that didn't they?)

A friend of mine knew a young mum who didn't know what weaning really meant....she made a massive hole in the teat of the bottle and fed the baby jars of baby food through it.

wannabe, you keep mentioning that 5 years ago the guidelines were weaning at 4 month...I believe that to be incorrect, as my ms is 6 this November and he was weaned at 6 month....admittedly, not all HV's or most HV's were ready to pass on the 6 month guidelines and some were not aware of the changes back then, but indeed the WHO already advised to wean at 6 month +.
A lot of HV's and HP's in general weren't happy to pass n the advise of 6 month for purely "ploitical" reasons. Basically they weren't happy to put working mothers under pressure, as the Maternity laws were not in place to make later weaning a valid option. They waited for the laws to change regarding Maternity Leave.
Now, whilst to some extent I can understand their reasoning, it is kinda sad that it had been known for many years that weaning at 4 month is to early, and nothing was done about it, because of some laws....!

sorry only read the OP, but my dd was exclusivley BF until 10.5mths as she wouldn't eat a bit of food that i gave her, admittedly that was her choice not hers, she was always offered food, but never ate it, then at 10.5mths she picked up ds's tea and ate it!! she went from milk to solids overnight- she knew when she was ready!! she eats like any normal child now so i wouldn't worry tbh, but maybe if it goes a bit further than 10mths or so just advise her of what things her child will need extra then BM once he's crawling and walking to keep energy levels etc!!

The advice for weaning changed here at least 10 years ago, as that is how old dd2 is..i was celebrating as i could not be bothered with faffing around with bowls and purees!

It was 2001 wasn't? That the WHO started saying 6 months?

Up until the 1950's it was normal in Britain to start weaning at around 9 months. Then "baby food" became available in the shops and the weaning age got earlier.

I weaned dd at 16wks as 'ordered' by my HV and ds1 at 7mo. Neither of them started eating anything much until 9 months. Certainly not enough to make any difference to their iron levels or jaw development.

Dd was definitely still on small amounts of puree at 10 months and was talking fluently (and incessantly) before she was 2.

It's a bit sad that the OP's friend's baby is not getting to play with food, but it's not going to hurt him, is it? Unlike weaning at 4 months, which might.

wannabe... why do you have such a bee in your bonnet about this? you know that a lot of what you're saying is rubbish... weaning has always been culturally defined, it's only recently that science has got involved.

look at all the people saying they 'knew' etc. it's rubbish, it's rubbish when some indian mothers wean at 18 months plus because they 'know', it's rubbish when they do the same in the Ivory Coast because they 'know' and it's rubbish when they do it in the UK at 12 weeks because they 'know'.

why do you dismiss the WHO so easily? what do they stand to gain by misinforming us? and please don't say it's all about third world countries because that's rubbish too. as is the window of opportunity as well, as it happens. how the hell does swallowing puree teach a child to chew, for example?

what will be interesting is if in the future the WHO throws up more research that moves the date forward or backwards again... will those of us who weaned at 6 months defend our behaviour in the same petulant and ill-informed way that you're doing, passing on half-truths as facts? i really hope not.

things change, people learn, science moves forward. that's a good thing, surely?

to the OP, you've done the right thing by flagging it up to her... not much else you can do imo.

I think that the mum knows best, you say she has read the literature and presumably knows what signs to look out for, and if you try and tell her different she will not take it well.

However I understand your concerns and would be a bit myself. And, if you are eating and the baby has it's tongue hanging out trying to grab the food left, right and centre, and making cartoon chewy faces, then maybe you should bring the subject up again.

Was the baby premature at all? So her age isn't really her age IYSWIM?

As for how well they eat, I am sure that is just down to the baby. I held out with DD until 5 months, and when I gave her some food she wolfed it down and hasn't looked back. She is 11 mo and has so far eaten, to the amazement of all concerned, a pickled onion, smoked fish and the odd mussel. To date it's only spaghetti that's foxed her. I think it's luck really.

Read only a few posts other than OP. Both of mine refused solids until around 11mths. Both sort of chewed at things and spat them out. DS2 only just now troughing royally at 1.1.

Breastfeeding promotes a kind of chewing and builds muscles adequately for speech appropriate to age. Obviously eating food promotes it further. I think your friend is doing fine and I wouldn't worry.

at aitch being so the Voice of Reason again

DD was BLW after a bad start on puree. in fact i was looking back in her baby book today and she was on finger foods much earlier than i thought! 7 months she started with finger foods.... anyhoo, she had speech delay so all that chewing did not help point is , regardless of what the advice was then , the advice NOW is different. blindly doing what has always been done, because it was always done that way is not a good thing IMO.

i am all for informed choice, informed being the key.

yabu

my dd2 was exclusively breastfed until she was nearly 14 months old. She just didn't want anything else until then. She then started to eat "normal" food straight away and is now a healthy, well-eating (nearly) 5 year old.

I started to wean DS at 6 months, but he didn't really eat more than a few mouthfuls until 9-10 months. In fact at his 10 month check I think he was still having mostly bm. And we did mostly BLW, odd bit of mush when my mum was staying .

Weaning age often seems to be more to do with cultural norms than physical 'readiness' of babies.

has she really not offered anything?

Weaning for me took ages - very very gradual, I was happy to be led by DD. I personally think she should have offered a little something by now.

I wasn't weaned till I was about 9 or 10 months
I don't have any trouble with lumps

hee hee glad to hear that FandZ