To want to slap my mother, hard, for saying to me "You have no idea what it's like being a mother."

[MrsSchadenfreude]

"Because you have always worked and just left someone else to bring them up."

I am furious.

get a new mother.

slap her hard

Very harsh, very hurtful. Were you arguing over something in particular?

Actually, I think slap is too gentle. She also told me today she didn't like her birthday present - the chocolates were horrible, the book was boring and I don't know why you bought me that CD as I've already got it on tape. She also didn't like her Christmas present and changed that. Next year she can have a fucking voucher "ooooh I don't like vouchers, I have to have something I can unwrap."

She has also been an evil bitch to two of her brothers this week and I will be surprised if they ever speak to her again.

You could reply that your mother knows nothing about taking her fair share of financial responsibility and the difficulties of doing that AND coping with motherhood in the modern world

Or maybe just slap her or something.

Janni - no, it came out of the blue! The DDs brought their school reports home today, and we were having a cuddle as I told them how proud I was of them, and she said "Well no thanks to you, you're never here."

I will be pushing her under on that fucking train in the morning.

oooh ouch. said in heat of moment...born of resentment that you have options not open to her...?
i'd be seething too but just trying to pour oil.

How old is she? Is she menopausal? If she doesn't have an excuse I'd divorce her.

I am going to bed now to seethe.

Actually, and this is a serious post, is it possible that she has early-onset Alzheimers? I read somewhere that sheer and uncharacteristic nastiness can be a symptom

Menopause? No, she's 75. She is becoming a nasty old lady. Also told her sister "You'll find out soon enough what it's like to be a widow."

No wonder she's got no friends.

She sounds bitter and horrible! What a nasty thing to say to your own daughter!

No advice but that sounds awful. Sorry.

wow. that was pretty nasty then. yes, a few choice home truths from you might make you feel better.
i love the way so many of that generation think being a working mother is an easy option. baffling.

I'm afraid she's always been nasty, but has got a lot worse recently.

Wotnopulling - can the oil be boiling?

She's jealous. Because you're a mother AND have a life of your own too.

I don't want to alarm you, and it could be that she is merely being a cow .... but keep an eye on her, because uncharacteristic spite and violence is a very early symptom of dementia, and given her age, it is possible.

OUCH! But mums can be like that, unfortunately. Mine once told me that she didn't think I would ever be happy! "you're just not a happy-type person!" Totally untrue! I AM very happy! (unfortunately she is not here to eat her words!)

Perhaps I'll suggest that to her, Colditz...

Even more hurtful then to say something like that at such a moment...

Is she jealous of your career? Resentful because she didn't have the same options?

Poor you. Seethe away. It's amazing how hurtful our parents' comments can be, whatever age we are.

i second the alzheimers, if this is sudden

Good advice from Colditz.

move away from the chip pan... either dementia or she feels undermined by you? in her view the fact that you've made different choices to her might undermine her decision to be a sahm. so in her head attacking you is defending herself..?!
or she's jealous of your family life and sent a barb to break up your cuddle. some people are just not-so-nice.

LOL at your last post Mrs S! Yes that would be a pretty unbeatable response!

Agree with Quattro - my grandma started AD with completely out of the blue nastiness to those closest to her