To think that if 16 is not old enough to smoke or drink alcohol why is it old enough to make a baby?

[panthera]

Does this reflect society's low priority on the importance of children and parenting? I have always thought that 16/17 is too young to have children. I am not arguing that under 18's make bad mothers but is it sending the wrong message to young people?

"And I realize that lots of teens don't get pregnant on purpose, but I do think they're on the whole not as careful as they should be, because they know that if they do get pregnant, the state will provide."

Not all 16 year olds get pregnant to get things from the state you know. Many will have jobs and a house to live in that they pay for out of their own money. Gosh 30/40 years ago it wasn't that unusual to have moved out of home and married at 16.

hi,
i had my first child at 18,im now 22 and have two children and another on the way,
i have never been on benefits and have a partner who works and i work also but on maternity leave at moment,
i feel i am very grown up for my age and doing things that most people do at my age does not interest me at all.
i consider myself a good mum and my kids come before anything.
a lot of young mums arent ready to have children but i was and a lot of young mums are great parents.

and a lot of people who had children at my age are not exactly the world's most perfect parents, either.

I would be devastated if DD (now 3) were to be a teenage mum. Even at 18 or 19.

This is not because teenagers can't be good mums, but because having a child that young puts your life on a certain path and I would like to see DD complete her studies, stand on her two feet, and taste success in whichever profession she chooses before she starts making babies.

Could have something to do with the fact that you can GET MARRIED at 16.

So, you'd have them get married but separate rooms for 2 years then?

lol Flibbertyjibbet

Some teenage parents are rubbish parents. Some older parents are rubbish parents.
Being a certain age doesn't neccessarily mean you are going to be a better or worse parent.
The only thing I might add to that is a bit of life experience might make you better equipped to be a parent. That said a teenage Mum may have the support of others with that experience. The emphasis is on the might too.

Since you can't stop puberty the only answer is to ensure that they are aware of the implications. I think that children are kept 'young' too long nowadays because 'we don't want to take away their innocence' but it would be in their interest to learn early how real life works.

Let's not forget that at one time teenage parents would have been the norm. Aim to make kids ready for parenthood at 15 (or mature enough to decide to postpone it) and there wouldn't need to be a law

That's very true Greyriverside

I once read an article...think it was an extract from a book...(I'm embarrassed to say I think it might have been in the dm )
The person who wrote it had done research into puberty and said that the part of the brain which enables a teenager to consider logically the consequences of their actions and take on board these consequences in the long term when making decisions, matures last. The example the author used was that teenagers often can't equate that staying out late partying the night before an exam might not be a good idea.
I suppose, if accurate, this could explain a lot of teenage behaviour that seems completely illogical at times.
I thought I had kept the article because I wanted to read the whole book (me being the mother of a particularly infuriating 17 year old. That said his dad is particularly infuriating at times so maybe in some it never matures ) but I can't find it.

what a strange original post....
nature dictates that a womans body is old enough to make babies. whether that is as late as 16, or as early as 9. that is not up to us.
society may dictate when it is acceptable to have sex, and currently society dictates that it is after the girls 16th birthday.
if youwant to outlaw earlier babies, or even babies at 16, then you might need to outlaw puberty. the word preposterous comes to mind

I had fist period at age 12. That may have been a great age to have kids when we were swinging from the trees, but in the world we are living now, it is a singularly devastating life choice to start having kids aged 12 (imho).

yes, totally agree with you. but nature dictates when it is possible to have babies. after that we can only make up rules that by their very nature can and will be broken.
which is why i think this thread is a bit pointless.
it used to be that you had to wait till you were married to have kids. and since marrieage did nt happen till a much later age, then generally there were much less teen pregnancies . with the need for marriage in order to have babies gone, we have reverted to the biological, natural time to have babies in an almost aggressive way.

'Need for marriage' is over in many places but nowhere else is teenage pregnancy rate as high as in UK.

Why do you think that is?

social acceptability of teen pregnancies
a viable life choice
cultural norm
take your pick

I think there is a real need for more education from a much earlier age - although I was aware, and I still got pg

In my position it was because I was unable to talk to my parents, and therefore acces better, more reliable contraception.

This is easier now, but still the rate of pregnancies keeps rising.

I think in general, we need to teach teens about relationships as well as the mechanics of sex, and to try to encourage them not to just go around having sex wily nilly, with no thought of the consequences.

the trouble is a lot of adults do this too........