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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be booooooooored to death of smug PFB comments on MN. It's shite, you know it is.

251 replies

welliemum · 03/07/2008 22:10

It's an old story. Someone posts an OP in which you can see that they?re being quite protective or concerned about their child ? maybe a bit too much so.

Within minutes, someone will ask, ?Is this your first child??

Then the floodgates open for a deluge of posts along the lines of ?Oh, you are a silly little thing - when you have TWO children and are as fabulously wise and experienced as I am, you will See The Error Of Your Ways? [virtual pat on head].

I just don?t get this. It?s like jeering at a learner driver for driving slowly. Would you want an 18 year old with a sparkly new licence to be barrelling down the motorway at 90 mph?

We live in a society where most of us have very little contact with babies until we have our own. IMO it?s absolutely right that new, inexperienced parents should have safety margins the size of Australia until they?ve sorted out what is truly risky and what isn?t. In fact I?d go further and say that that?s the ONLY sensible way to parent if you?re new to the game.

Far rather rush around madly sterilising than put your tiny baby in hospital on a drip because you were too cool to wash a bottle.

As far as I can see, PFB comments have nothing to do with giving helpful advice to a new parent, and everything to do with massaging the ego of the PFB-commentator.

OP posts:
jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 04/07/2008 13:23

now here's an article that is screaming PFBness all through it She's even getting funny about the way people look at her baby fgs.

margoandjerry · 04/07/2008 13:36

oh my bloody god

Not allowed to kiss his head? And where has the baby's head been? I mean, yes it's been in the birth canal and has edged its way through her cervix and all but I'm guessing it's been washed since then?

Pruners · 04/07/2008 13:43

Message withdrawn

OrmIrian · 04/07/2008 13:46

Oh surely that article is a wind-up? It has to be. It's the foot thing that got me?

SoupDragon · 04/07/2008 13:47

Anniemac , you accused me of being smug because I have more children than you. I was putting you right.

And whilst I was here, BabyDragon fell asleep on the armchair with her hand in a pot of vaseline. she is covered in it from head to toe, as is the arm chair. Naturally my first instinct was to capture the moment on my camera rather than phone NHS Direct...

OrmIrian · 04/07/2008 13:47

Oh no...

Is the chair alright?

snickersnack · 04/07/2008 13:52

LOL at her horror that someone was "Holding him with one arm while talking to someone and gesturing wildly with the other. (He weighs 12 pounds, even we can't do that with ease.)". Wait until he's a hulking 23 pounder who refuses to be put down at any point during the day...she's going to be in all sorts of difficulty if she can't do a bit of wild gesturing at the same time...

Pruners · 04/07/2008 13:54

Message withdrawn

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 04/07/2008 13:54

I pinched the link from another thread- it's getting the same sort of response there.

She won't be doing wild gesturing snickersnack as she'll be too busy cradling him with respect and looking into his eyes.

SoupDragon · 04/07/2008 13:57

Well, the pot is now empty... luckily it wasn't full to start with. (Laxative?? [wail])

Chair covers are in the wash, BabyDragon has been wiped down and had her (rather greasy) hair tied back. DS1 used vaseline as hairgel once. He needed a buzz cut with clippers to get it out. I'm kind of hoping this won't be necessary with DD... On the plus side, her skin is nice and soft!

anniemac · 04/07/2008 14:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Oblomov · 04/07/2008 14:05

There are PFB comments on all sorts of threads that they shouldn't be.
I was on a thread the other day re a controlling grandma not doing what the mum had requested.
The relationship between mum and daughter was the issue.
Not the PFB comment. But it managed to worm its way into that thread aswell.
It seems to get everywhere, in all sorts of inappropriate places

nkf · 04/07/2008 14:08

The feature is meant to be funny.

MsDemeanor · 04/07/2008 14:15

Funny? Funny? What bit of it is funny, exactly? Stupid, judgemental, facile yes. Funny? No.

Pruners · 04/07/2008 14:16

Message withdrawn

MsDemeanor · 04/07/2008 14:17

Sorry! Thought you were referring to the KR feature.
Sadly don't think the PFB feature is meant to be funny either.

ally90 · 04/07/2008 14:20

I feel PFB comments are very patronising...really get my goat. Sooooo condescending!

Quattrocento · 04/07/2008 14:31

Not read the whole thread, but I don't agree with the OP.

My experience of PFB syndrome (for it does exist) is that a poster comes along with a truly fatuous question like this:

"My DD is 8 months old and her nails grow lovely and strong and need cutting every single week. I think there is a correlation between the rate at which nails grow and IQ. Everyone has told me how clever my DD is to have such rapidly growing nails. Is it too early to put her on a G&T register?"

LadyThompson · 04/07/2008 14:36

I do agree there is a patronising overtone to some posts from seasoned Mums (I said SOME - I am not dissing the majority as I received advice from many kind and patient people on here) BUT I also slightly agree with Quattro in that EVERYone thinks their kid is THE most forward kid ever ever ever and it can get a bit...wearing

Quattrocento · 04/07/2008 14:40

Here's an example:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/2408/557017

Oblomov · 04/07/2008 14:47

Quattro, I have seen PFB branded about on many AIBU or chat threads. You have seen those too ?
Not helpful.

LadyThompson · 04/07/2008 14:48

Thing is, and it's such a platitude I know but so true - kids develop at different rates. Not just little kids - I can remember kids that weren't all that bright at junior school that went on to storm their GCSEs. I'm just praying daughter is a) confident and b) well mannered. I know she will be ok then. I don't actually require her to be like Magnus Pike (to prop up my own drooping self worth).

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 04/07/2008 14:48

Scummy was here last week? is she still around?

wittyusername · 04/07/2008 16:18

I inadvertently upset my mum, MIL and aunt by saying that I'd be exclusively BFing DD and not giving her water for a while. I promise you I didn't say it defensively as I thought it wasn't a big deal not to give DD water! Sometimes those with older/more children can get just as het up with those "PFBers".

FWIW I think my mum and MIL worry far more than I or DH do about some things... swings and roundabouts IME.

Saymyname · 04/07/2008 16:25

Quattro, I think your post was the only totally unnecessary post on an otherwise supportive and kind thread. So, I guess I disagree with you.

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