To be booooooooored to death of smug PFB comments on MN. It's shite, you know it is.

[welliemum]

It's an old story. Someone posts an OP in which you can see that they?re being quite protective or concerned about their child ? maybe a bit too much so.

Within minutes, someone will ask, ?Is this your first child??

Then the floodgates open for a deluge of posts along the lines of ?Oh, you are a silly little thing - when you have TWO children and are as fabulously wise and experienced as I am, you will See The Error Of Your Ways? [virtual pat on head].

I just don?t get this. It?s like jeering at a learner driver for driving slowly. Would you want an 18 year old with a sparkly new licence to be barrelling down the motorway at 90 mph?

We live in a society where most of us have very little contact with babies until we have our own. IMO it?s absolutely right that new, inexperienced parents should have safety margins the size of Australia until they?ve sorted out what is truly risky and what isn?t. In fact I?d go further and say that that?s the ONLY sensible way to parent if you?re new to the game.

Far rather rush around madly sterilising than put your tiny baby in hospital on a drip because you were too cool to wash a bottle.

As far as I can see, PFB comments have nothing to do with giving helpful advice to a new parent, and everything to do with massaging the ego of the PFB-commentator.

Totally, totally agree with the OP.

So what if some people are over protective? Some stupid patronising comment isn't going to make them say "oh, wow, it's all just me being a nob because I only have one child, I feel so much better now."

People need to work through their own issues in their own time.

Yes I ASKED FOR that abuse!! You're disqualified Hunker!

i agree, most o fthe time i know i'm being an over protective PFB nob but nothing will change that.

i'll get over it - probably when he's in his mid 40s

better a pfb than an unloved child

yeah you can't use that one hunker- the OP called herself that in the first post.

Quattro, in that case you're the only person on that thread who couldn't carry it off with charm

I'd love to know which of the posters on here have a young first child, or children and which have older or more children

just for statistic analysis of response you understand

I like Martianbishops answers so I stopped reading after them

Ah well, you'd recognise that ...

Touche Quattro

Well I've 5 from age 23 down to 9 year old twins but I feel very sympathetic to people doing things for the first time and the young and the elderly. Not everyone can be immediate experts. We all start somewhere and some new young mothers are better than very experienced ones too. Some people never learn no matter how many mistakes they make and some are just naturally immediately good with children.

I was VERY upset by this

Crushed, I was.

Master bedroom lilac, I think. With chintz.

I had my first baby twelve years ago and don't often think about that time these days. When I stop and remember it though, it was so scary and weird. I just used to devour baby books etc for reassurance. I'd HATE to have to go through that first six months again.

Msdemeanor, when are you moving out?

Hunker that's a good one, although you did have to go back to May 07 to find it. Suggests that PFB put-downs are not exactly regular.

Coming from the other direction I do wonder how many of us (it might just be me ) have actually forgotten most of the baby stuff? Not just what actually happened and when, but how we felt about it? I was amazed how much I had forgotten between ds and dd, and there were only 16mths in between them. Let alone how hazy my memory is with a few more years under the bridge. So some of the PFB comments might have something to do with that?

Not entirely convinced it's time to call in the removal van yet, ladies. Keep going

(four beds, 3 baths, farrow and ball....)

Aw, c'mon, MsD - I've got you on the ropes now, surely?!

"I phoned NHSDirect the first time ds slept more than 2hrs..."

Oh Phd how I laughed at this one. I remember DH having an extremely lengthy conversation with NHSDirect because our newborn dd was sleeping for up to 4 hours at a time waking for a feed and then sleeping for another 4 hours at at time. We were very worried and felt that she was sleeping JUST TOO MUCH - it couldn't be right. I also posted on MN about it as well.

FWIW she was PSB.

HIJACK (sorry welliemum and I agree with you )

How are you amethyths8? Not seen you in ages...

LOL MsDemeanor, I think your house is safe - very clever choice of criteria there.

When people use the term "PFB" they're being ironic and often, they're talking about themselves. The serious PFB comments don't include that term, just ordinary English words.

And we're not really in "crushed" territory here, are we? - I think more "annoyed and a bit huffy" than anything else. Even for soooooper-sensitive new parents.....

< turns removal van away >

Friends of mine took their baby
to hospital because he "was crying a lot." The next day the baby had a new tooth.

I completely agree with nooka. I'm amazed at the amount of stuff I've forgotten from the first time round, and there's only 2 years between mine. Truly believe there's a thing called "mumnesia", because if you remembered just how hellish it was the first time, you would never have a second/third/fourth baby!!!

just as a slightly related but more of an aside.....

when I joined MN I didn't find the acronym list at the top for ages and ages so I had to work out on my head what they meant, and for a long time I thought PFB sood for Perfect Fucking Baby.

I still can't quite get it out of my head, and whenever I see PFB (and even more so in a thread title) I do have an initial "gosh that is very rude" reaction.

OK aside over, as you were.

I know and the hospital staff were very helpful because of course nobody knows with a small baby. They told the story as a joke against themselves and their own first time parent cluelessness.