to be so pissed with hubby i cant bear to look at him

[justageek]

let alone talk to him?

I had a really stressful day today with my toddlers and some personal things i was having to sort out, plus feeling quite down in general. I was glad when he got home as he takes the kids of my hands. But tonight he started ranting about not being able to find the special pens that my youngest got for her birthday (they only colour in special pages, like invisible ink kind of thing so they were fairly special). I hate it when he starts like that because i feel like he is thinking badly of me, for not making sure they dont lose/break their toys etc.

So i knew my eldest had been playing with them earlier and had asked her to put them away, he was saying they werent in the drawer they were meant to be. So i asked her were they were. Dont know she says (she is 3). So we begin a huge search for them, and i am getting crosser and crosser, the more he is...I eventually lose my temper and tell eldest to at least help look for them, she is tired by then and gurny so doesnt bother. GAAAH. I ask her again, she says in the drawer, i go to check the drawers, dh shouts at me, i have already looked in there!

So i tell dd its not in the drawers and she says she doesnt know.

Guess where they were. In the FARKING drawer. DH didnt even bother looking properly before starting to rant about not being able to find anything in this house blah blah.

So i had to then apologise to my DD and give her a cuddle, poor lamb. I am sooo mad at DH, i really am, he is forever asking wheres this and getting huffy before he hasnt even bloody looked. What is wrong with men? are they just dsigned to generally piss you off at any given opportunity?!

I cant be bothered speaking to him tonight, because he didnt even apologise to DD himself or me for that matter.

I don't fall into any of the categories on your link, thumbwitch. My 'preferred learning style' is reading a book or writing things down - I honestly don't retain information if it isn't written (if someone tells me something in the playground, like a suggested playdate, I have to come home and check the calendar immediately - will forget it entirely if I don't write it down). And my job is based on listening and writing. What does that make me?

edam - in touch with your masculine side??

my learning mode is writing too. I just can't think it through (if its complicated) or remember it (if it's something more simple) unless I have taken pen to paper - and it's nothing to do with the usefulness of the resulting note - it's the process. come to think of it I have a tendency to label things too. the boxes in dds' room have labels on them like "jigsaws" "games" etc. unless it's written down it's not properly structured/organised/tidy....

and it has the effect that if it's not in the jigsaw box I don't see it.

See if have a probelm with this because it drives me batty when dh can't/forget things. For example he gone out to work twice this week and forgotten the car keys . But on the other hand i think is great because i can buy myself treats and he can not find/see them so i get eat them all to myself.

Oh BTW dd1 when she can't find anything she shouts to me 'Mummy i got daddies eyes can I use yours'.

"Oh yes that would be me having a paddy at him looking. But I am quarter irish so up yours with your 'discrimination'. "

brilliant.well that settles it.
if your a quater irish and don't think "having a paddy" is not in anyway discriminatory language then it's most certainly not.
well if that's the case then don't have an eppy at your husband when he loses things as it's a real nigger in the wood pile.

so, dd2 is 14 months old. dh goes to get a babygro out of her drawer. for the first time! there are 4 neat piles of clothes in this drawer. one pile of vests with sleeves, one pile of vests without sleeves, 2 piles of babygros.

DH: where are they?
Me: in THAT drawer!
DH: they aren't in here.
Me: they ARE
DH: I can only find vests with sleeves.

I walk up a flight of stairs, enter the bedroom and pull out a babygro that is RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS FARKING EYES.

DH:

tis a well known fact men are Crap at "looking" For things!

My DH is a searcher for the police but he cannot find anything i ask him to get, makes me very scared to think that he is trusted to look for bombs/knives etc and he cant even find the farking butter in the fridge. maybe if i paid him everytime i needed him to get something he would be able to find it.

sorry edam and hat - haven't been online all day. Yes, it is a bit of a simplistic system - and in fact there are more senses that are involved in any processing of information.
If you need to write things down, you are still operating on a visual basis but probably with kinaesthetic input as well (as in you need to see it written down and to have done the writing).
most people will have some kind of combination of processing modes, but everyone will always have one that is more dominant than the others, however slightly.
HTH - probably not much but maybe a little

God this is my dh to a t. Have we got any baked beans? (I'm sitting on the sofa, he's standing by the tins cupboard in the kitchen), Where are my shoes? In the shoe cupboard, (?!)But I left them in the middle of the lounge 2 days ago . . . . .

LOL jumble - this is a bit of a sidetrack: I have problems with DH's habit of leaving his clothes/shoes on the floor pretty much all over the house but especially downstairs. as I have clients coming to the house most days.

I solved this problem by warning him that any clothing or shoes I found left downstairs would be thrown in the bin. Of course, I had to leave them hanging at least half out of the bin so that he would notice them, and he still mostly didn't notice without prompting! But it is working - he rarely leaves his stuff downstairs any more - yay!

my dp doesnt even seem to know where we keep things!! our convos go mote like this..
"can you pass me a babygro"
"which ones are the baby grows?"
"the ones with arms and legs"
"where are they"
"in the babys drawers"
"which drawers?"
"do you mean which drawer? they are in the second drawer down"
"no i can only find dd1s dresses"
"thats the wrong drawers dd2s are in our room by the door"
"is this a babygro?" he finally comes back downstairs holding a grobag!!! [sigh]