To think my son isn't fat

[GeorgeandTimmy21]

I know lots of parents are in denial about this sort of thing but I honestly don't think I am. He is 18 years old, wearing size medium t shirts and 34 inch waist trousers. He weighs 11 stone and I'm not sure exactly how tall he is, less than 6ft but not much less. He runs 10k 2 times a week and 5k 2 times a week. My MIL thinks he is fat (for context my MIL is a size 18).

If his actual waist is 34 inches and he’s 5’10 (70 inches) then he’s just at the top range of the healthy waist to height ratio - you want your waist to be less than half your height and he’s at 0.49. Over 0.5 is higher risk for visceral fat, type 2 diabetes etc.

But you’re guessing his height, and the waist measurement won’t be from getting an accurate measurement of his actual waist. If his waist is actually 35 and he’s 5’9 then his waist height ratio is 0.51. If it’s actually 33 on his waist and he’s 5’11 then he’s down at 0.46.

Plus only you’ll know if your MIL is genuinely a kind person who has maybe noticed some weight gain and is really coming from a place of concern that his weight is going up. Or if she’s often a judgy person making incorrect comments about other people’s weight. My MIL would never comment on my children’s weight, so if she ever did (and I can’t even imagine that conversation), I’d listen. My mother on the other hand… she used to refer to a perfectly normal sized friend of mine as “the one with the thighs”, so I pretty much tune her out.

My 15yo DS is 5’9”, 11 stone and has a 6 pack. He was always in the 90th percentile and has always been heavier than he looks. Maybe find out his BMI and then ask your MIL hers?

I would say given the information you've given about height and waist he isn't fat but then also isn't thin. The running isn't much of an indicator though as I know a lot of big people who run a lot and long distances as well.

His waist to height ratio is 0.48 which is in healthy range… just.

34” waist isn’t thin. But it doesn’t sound obese either. 🤷‍♀️

Waistline means a lot… centralised adiposity is what puts you at greater risk of diabetes, cancer, CVD.

They’re looking to change overweight categories so that you’re only clinically at risk if your waist is over a certain measurement/ ratio.

Ah, Mumsnet, the place where a woman can be 4' 11", size 8 and a veritable heffalump. 🤣

What? He’s a medium size in a top 32-34 waist is totally normal and at 5 11 that’s not even plump on some men certainly not my OH and I’m a size 10-12 woman who feels chunky next to him! @GeorgeandTimmy21 No he’s not and if I were my MIL I’d be telling her to STFU x

5 foot 10 and 11 stone doesn't sound fat for an 18 year old male. Tell your MIL to button it and address her own weight instead

Say to your MIL, "Oh well let's work out all of our BMIs..."

Just ask MIL if she’s projecting!

Comments like this are why the laughing emoji needs to make a comeback!

He sounds on the larger side of average to me. For context DS2 is not slight wears medium tops and 34 inch trousers he weights 13 stone and is 6ft5.

My ds is aged 17 and is about 6'2" with a 30 inch waist. He is noticeably very slender and I think he could do with putting on a bit of weight and being a bit more sturdy. If you think your boy is the 'right' size, could you be experiencing vicarious body dysmorphia? Or is it I who am deluded (genuine question)?

OP I cannot see how your ds could possibly be described as fat. Your MIL is overstepping.

My son eats a great deal but he’s very active so keeps the weight off. He doesn’t look skinny, just slim.

A 34 inch waist is a lot for an 18 year old.

He often walks around the house in his boxers and definitely doesn’t look skinny just slim.

This is ridiculous. DS1 is 6ft2 with 28/30inch waist - he is very very slender. Being larger than him does not make anyone fat.

He sounds stocky to me, not fat. My husband was a 30/32” waist at 18 and I’d say was slim but not overly so.

Even so, it’s none of your MILs business!

The waist size does seem the one concern area. Overall weight ok but could possibly need to make sure any extra weight is not to his belly or waist area.

My son would be carrying a flabby belly if he went up two sizes. At the moment he’s not skinny just slim and very toned from the sports he plays.

BMI wise should be fine. But is all the weight on his waist? It sounds like it might be with a 34" waist at that weight/height.

Sometimes when people say so-and-so is fat they mean "carrying some wobbly bits", or "skinny fat". Is this what your mil means? 34" waist could definitely include wobbly bits on many men.

You're starting to give creepy reverse Oedipus

He's bang in the middle of healthy/ideal weight.
Your MIL is an arse. Tell her to pack it in before he gets an eating disorder - if she's so obsessed by weight, I dare you to tell her to look at herself.