Increasingly using physical force with 3 year old

[feelinglikeit]

And I hate it but also am not seeing what else I can do.

Examples like - helped herself to my jewellery collection, when I tried to take it back she just snatched it away so ended up wrestling it off her constantly going after her brother, those sorts of things. I’m really, really tired of constant conflict and misery.

As a parent of a three year old, THIS! Yes I will ask, I will give a consequence but occasionally he will still steal his sisters toy because he’s three and lacks impulse control. The next step is to take it off him with “physical force” because he doesn’t rule the roost. Similarly is he’s dicking about and refusing to get in the car and we’re going to be late yeah I will “physically force” him into the car and no I’m not distracting him with baking cakes. You’re fine OP. Set boundaries if they don’t comply, hold the boundary anyway, it’s how they learn.

My 10 year old is autistic so I have to use physical restraint/movement a lot for safety, I feel the important thing is how you do it. I always talk calmly during it, arms around "hugging" and swaying during it, kiss on head if not going to be headbutted etc.
With taking objects the same - calmly explaining while removing it, substitute with an appropriate item (he likes to take things others are holding)
If you arent being angry during it I wouldnt be concerned at all.

Sometimes you do have to make them do something.
I wouldn't allow a three year old to take jewellery or take a toy from another child.
I always explain, and ask nicely but ultimately I give them the choice
"do you want to do x (get off the table/give the toy back/pick up your mess) yourself, or do you want me to help you?"
And absolutely if they won't do it themselves I will make sure it is done.

It sounds like she is doing it for a reaction and she's getting one. How much time do you spend 1 on 1 with her?

Some of these comments are insane. You are not going to damage a three year old by setting boundaries and teachinng them that actions have consequences.