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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

TO BE SHOCKED BY THIS "MOTHER"

60 replies

Kimi · 02/07/2008 17:49

So I pick DS2 up from after school club and on the walk home we see a woman and a man on one side of the main road and a man on the other... the woman is yelling her head off at the bloke on the other side, and he is yelling back.
It goes along the lines of woman "you F&%$( W%$£ you crack head hes a man" (points to bloke on her side of road,) bloke shouts back "whatever" this carries on then they cross to the blokes side of the road and she waggles her head about waves her arms and shouts and swears more as does the bloke (the one that was with her said nothing just stood looking gormless tbh)

I think she got every swear word and sexual expletive in that she could all at the tpo of her voice and the bloke she was screaming at was screaming back "whatever" "fecking whore"

Now I don't know or care what they were at each other over, and if they want a chav fest in the middle of a public high road then so be it but...........

On the corner of the side road leading on to the main road where they were screaming at each other was a car, in the car with the windows open was a child of about 18 months who was distraught... Woman goes back to the car and shouts at baby "you can shut the fuck up as well" then her and gormless bloke get in and drive off like Lewis Hamilton giving the bloke left behind the finger.

DS2 turns round and says "shes not a nice mummy is she" and all I could say was NO!

OP posts:
VictorianSqualor · 02/07/2008 18:22

Also, if people don't judge the poor kids at my DD's school who have just been discovered to be being hurt by their parents would never have been reported to the school, and the teachers wouldn't have kept an eye on them and reported them to social services for the bruises.
This situation may be slightly different but there are times we should judge.

CrushWithEyeliner · 02/07/2008 18:22

I feel awful for children of women like this

FioFio · 02/07/2008 18:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Kimi · 02/07/2008 18:25

Some timesjudging is the only thing you can do..If you on't want to be judged as a bad mother and a chav then don't behave like one! simple really

OP posts:
CrushWithEyeliner · 02/07/2008 18:27

and i would be judging bit time. I think that is an appalling thing to say to a baby in distress. Just can't understand this "aw she might have ishoooos"

micci25 · 02/07/2008 18:28

well every does have bad days. i have bad days. it feels like i have more bad days than good some weeks!

i have screaming and swearing and ranting rages too usually aimed at dp and more often than not totally deserved .

they are in my home. when dd1 is at nursery/her grans/out somewhere and dd2 is napping upstairs (though it has happened once in front of dd2 she is only one and cannot repeat any of the words, nor was any of it aimed at her)

i would never ever behave like this in public and especially not in front of a school! and if i did i would fully expect someone to either report me to ss/police and the school or walk over and smack me in the face!

YANBU that sort of behavior is totally outline in front of dc's.

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 02/07/2008 18:29

Does it make you feel better getting a lot of strangers to judge them though, so you can all feel holier than thou?

FioFio · 02/07/2008 18:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 02/07/2008 18:31

me?

Hulababy · 02/07/2008 18:32

YANBU.

hatwoman · 02/07/2008 18:40

and the point of the thread is what exactly? as some people have pointed out no-one is going to argue that it's acceptable/desirable behaviour. now if you had started a thread along the lines of "i saw an example of some pretty hideous behaviour today, what should I have done? / should I have reacted? why does this happen in our society? what can teachers/social workers/police/the media do to contribute to stopping this? then the thread would have had a point. just pointing our how horrible it is and asking us to agree has about as much point as telling us your fridge is white.

Original poster
Kimi · 02/07/2008 18:42

My fridge is silver in fact

OP posts:
hatwoman · 02/07/2008 18:43
Grin
lucyellensmum · 02/07/2008 18:44

Feel sorry for the child, feel sorry for the mother. Sounds like her life is really enviable . Some people are shit mothers im afriad

Original poster
Kimi · 02/07/2008 18:48

The thing I find most shocking is more and more people behave like this, I was half wondreing if someone was going to pull out a knife, bloke that was with her kept putting his hand inside his track bottoms (maybe he was checking to see if his bit were still there).

It was all so wrong, and the poor child was left in the car to scream.

OP posts:
ElfOnTheTopShelf · 02/07/2008 18:56

I just dont see what these types of threads acheieve. Its not a "what can we do/learn" thread, its a "lets all be judgey von holier than thou"

SheikYerbouti · 02/07/2008 19:00

oooh, look. Another thread with perfect folk on it.

I would have judged, for the record.

I wiuld have judged whether she was wearing Primark's finest, or whether she was wearing a "Fun" Boden hotchpotch sleeping bag.

Because I, like all of you, judge. Tis human natures, I am afraid.

hatwoman · 02/07/2008 19:01

you are right kimi - it is shocking - and also scarey. I guess it's putting it under "aibu" that kind of does the issue a disservice iyswim. there is, without doubt too much aggression and it is horrible to have our children exposed to it. I had to explain to dds yesterday that even though I had said (inside) that the man next door (who shouts at his dog and tells it to fuck off)is loud and horrible they mustn't ever talk about him like that in the garden (I had overheard them doing so) basically because I do not want to know what he might do if he heard them. he strikes me as the type who would not just shrug his shoulders...

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 02/07/2008 19:01

I'm not saying that I judge

SheikYerbouti · 02/07/2008 19:02

So you've never judged someone by a fleeting snapshot of their lives/behaviour?

I know I have.

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 02/07/2008 19:03

doh.

Sorry, didn't preview. I'm not saying that I DONT judge people. I just done see what threads like these achieve.

SheikYerbouti · 02/07/2008 19:05

Good-o.

Folk who say that they never judge are liars liars pants on fires.

Agree this thread is little more than pointless.

luckywinner · 02/07/2008 19:07

Couldn't care less what she was shouting at the blokes about. what makes me sad is what and how she shouted at her dc. how can you not judge on that?

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 02/07/2008 19:07

I see people smack their kids in the supermarket, and see parents swearing and screaming at their children, and yes, of course EVERYBODY judges, but I dont see the point in all gathering around to bitch about them.

KatieDD · 02/07/2008 19:07

Well I guess we all feel better for a moment knowing our lives aren't like that eh ?
I got told off last week by the head mistress fro arguing my point about parking front of the children and other peoples children, no swearing I should say. But for goodness sake are we really raising a generation of children who believe their mothers are like step ford wives, bit werid if you ask me.