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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be totally peed off with DDs prospective nursery

34 replies

lucyellensmum · 02/07/2008 17:07

Right, i have had a totally WASTED afternoon. Not only that so has DP who is already stressed to the eyeballs.

So bloody annoyed - went to Parents meeting for when she starts pre-school, supposedly in September. Went to meeting, DP took afternoon off work (self employed and running late anyway) because the invitation implied that it would be informative, show us around the school etc. Had to reserve one or two places.

We gets there, sits down - lots of disgruntled toddlers (well what else were we supposed to do with them). No arrangements made to keep them occupied while the adults listened to what was said (i enquired previously whether it was OK to bring children so assumed SOMETHING was in place). So as a consequence could not hear a word that was said due to whinging tots (who could blame them!), my own included. We were told to hand around forms to say what sessions we would prefer, a list of things they must take to school and an appointment list of when we could attend an individual meeting before the start of term, when we would be given a start date. So i asked, will they not be starting in Septemeber then -"oh no, we are doing staggared starts, we are HOPING to get them all started by xmas" . That was it, meeting over. We asked to be shown around - not possible due to security reasons could they not have arranged body guards or something .

This means DP has had to put his job even further behind (therefore getting paid!!) and completely wasted an afternoon. The meeting was a shambles, no one knew what was going on. No introductory speil about "this is what we want to acheive at our pre-school" that we were expecting.

Am i being unreasonable to expect not to have my time wasted just because this is a state pre-school and not a day nursery so they are assuming then i am a SAHM who just has time to waste like this?? [incandescant with rage emoticon - quite honeslty a red face doesn't cut it].

Was very impressed with what i saw when i went to the open day LAST YEAR, was excited and wanted to show DP, after all he might like to see where DD is going to be looked after - We don't even get to pop our head around the door. I didnt put her name down for anywhere else and i'm begining to wonder if i have done the righ thing [worried].

OP posts:
lulumama · 02/07/2008 17:09

is it a pre school or a nursery?

lulumama · 02/07/2008 17:11

sorry, i can see why it would be frustrating for you. can you give them any feedback to express how you feel and see how they deal with that?

tbh, in your DPs shoes, i would have not taken the afternoon off work....

love2sleep · 02/07/2008 17:13

Can't wait until the SAHM mums read the bit at the end about them having time to waste.

Be afraid. Be very afraid!

Lowfat · 02/07/2008 17:13

What security issues - you ar prospective parents, you have you children with you!!

Our pre-school invites parents in on a 1-1 basis for a chat and a look around.

YANBU, what a waste of time and effort. I would complain and look around for somewhere else just in case.

posieflump · 02/07/2008 17:17

why didn't your dp stay at home with the kids and you go on your own so you could pay more attention?

that's what me and dh do if he is lucky enough to get time off work

love2sleep · 02/07/2008 17:19

Oops - think I missed the point above. Sorry.

I had a similar experience last week at DS1's prospective nursery. I rang first thing to ask what time would be best to come in to discuss booking him in and was told "oh come any time". I went in at 2pm to be told "oh there is never anyone in the office on firday afternoon".

arrggg

I feel your pain.

lulumama · 02/07/2008 17:19

love2sleep, i skimmed that bit,. thanks for pointing it out

LEM, you know better than that, come on!

coz meetings at school cut into valuable nail painting and bon bon eating time

Nagapie · 02/07/2008 17:22

Like being a SAHM somehow exempts you from the time constraints and sh*t that employed people face ???

YABU - you insisted on your DH being there

My DD goes to a private school - DH only had a quick introductory/catch-all meeting with the staff late at night (no family so had to fork out £20 for 1 hour of babysitting!!) and, like most of the mothers there, it was left up to the mums to sort out the practicalities ...

Anna8888 · 02/07/2008 17:29

It all sounds a complete shambles. Can you not find another pre-school.

lucyellensmum · 02/07/2008 17:33

I didnt mean it i didnt mean it i didnt mean it - I AM s SAHM, i was being sarcastic!!! please don't flame me.

DP took the time off because he WANTED to see around the school. IF we had known it would be like that he wouldn't have bothered, THAT was my point. I may well complain actually. Also, if they are THAT disorganised............

OP posts:
flubdub · 02/07/2008 17:33

Time to waste?

Because otherwise id have been sat on my big fat bum watching Jeremy Kyle?

happystory · 02/07/2008 17:33

....howeverrrrr.... it does sound pretty disorganised if they don't know what days children are doing for September on JULY 2ND!

Do you think (re: looking round) they meant 'safety' reasons if there were going to be lots of adults tramping round? Otherwise they should always be open to visitors....

cory · 02/07/2008 17:33

Sounds really odd and not all reassuring. Can assure you not all state pre-schools are like that.

Prufrock · 02/07/2008 17:33

I think LEM is a SAHM, and is complaining that the pre-school think that they can therefore waste her time, rather than her actually thinking that SAHM's have time to waste.

Is it a pre-school run by the school LEM, or one run by a committee of volunteer parents? If the first, I would complain, if the second, I would feel sorry for them and offer to help run the place next year.

flubdub · 02/07/2008 17:34

ok, sorry LEM

lulumama · 02/07/2008 17:34

fair dos

DD is starting pre school not nursery in september, they had the start dates sorted for middle of June, DD already has her welcome pack etc..

i missed the meeting due to it being night time, and no baby sitter, DH working and then coming down with a chest infection

if you had a good impression of it before then maybe they are just crap at meetings but a good provider of education

lucyellensmum · 02/07/2008 17:36

It was ANNA and i'm sorely tempted. If it wasn't for the fact that i was so impressed before i would. What frustrated me more is that this is a pre-school attached to a school and the head was at the meeting, she seemed totally at a loss

OP posts:
Prufrock · 02/07/2008 17:46

tbh LEM as long as it's not really really crap I think the benefits of being on the site of her future primary school, and socialising with the group that she will be with thourghout her school career, completely outweigh the lack of organisation

LIZS · 02/07/2008 17:53

if you're that worried then arrange to go back and view again. I wouldn't expect dh to visit or attend such a meeting as well as me. He only saw ds' nursery once he'd started.

lulumama · 02/07/2008 17:54

agree with prufrock, although not knowing when children are starting, if it is staggered until Xmas is a bit bonkers..

lucyellensmum · 02/07/2008 17:55

she wont be attending that school though

OP posts:
lulumama · 02/07/2008 17:57

so why send her there then?

LIZS · 02/07/2008 17:57

how can you be sure she won't, presumably you haven't applied for infant schools yet. tbh I think you'd struggle to find another for Septemebr now.

Ags · 02/07/2008 18:00

Sounds like a ridiculous waste of anyones time whether you are working or not.

I am secretary of the committee which runs our local pre-school. It is a charity and run by a committee of parents but managed day to day by qualified staff. Sometimes I worry that we are a bit behind the times and disorganised however, I am amazed that your school does not have a clear entry list already organised for the autumn term. Our attendance was finalised a month ago and all parents were informed by letter of the days their child will attend. There is scope for parents to change those days if they need to. We do not run an open evening but each parent and child are invited to attend a session of their choice by prior arrangement as an introduction to pre-school. This works really well and all the relevant information can be given at that time.

I think you should definately contact the school to get the information you were unable to hear at the open meeting and to discuss what days and exactly when your child will be starting. I'm wondering if you know anyone else whose child has attended and if you can get some idea if your initial impression of the place was correct. Good luck with it all.

lucyellensmum · 02/07/2008 18:00

she already has her name down for the local catholic school and that is where she will go. This is a very good preschool but im just a bit about their lack of organisation and the implication that the meeting was more than what it was.

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