To despair at the crap some people feed their kids

[Apotofrealcoffee]

Currently watching a kid who can’t be more than age 3, tuck in to a packet of ‘squashie’ sweets on the bus. No sign of a tantrum, kid seems perfectly happy looking out the window, but out come the sweets. And to pre empt the ‘snobbery’ thing, the parent seems middle class to me and certainly eloquent.

I regularly see kids tucking into chocolate bars, packets of crisps, lollies, all on the school run. Many of them toddlers in their buggies dropping off older siblings. Parents meeting kids at the school gate with full packets of Oreos, bottles of pop, doughnuts.

I’ve been trying not to judge for years and have been repeatedly told it’s ’just one snapshot of their day’ but honestly, I feel like the time for judgement has entered. I have never fed my toddlers crap like that, let alone just after breakfast. My 3 year old has never had a fizzy drink.

Why, just why! AIBU to feel there needs to be some kind of very direct public health campaign at this point? Maybe even a ‘no sweets at the school gate’ rule?

What do you think would have helped?

Did your mum do it out of necessity, a misguided sense of love or was she just not aware?

😂

I am genuinely curious about this and am not completely uninformed as my daughter has autism but when people say their children ‘only eat chicken nuggets and chips or McDonald’s etc - why were they being fed that in the first place?? I see parents saying their 3 year old will only eat crisps or only eat nuggets and I just can’t understand it. How did it get to the point where ONLY crisps were eaten unless you were consistently giving them crisps in the first place?

Why, just why! AIBU to feel there needs to be some kind of very direct public health campaign at this point? Maybe even a ‘no sweets at the school gate’ rule?

My very young child often has sweets of some form, particularly at the school gate as they are type 1 and having a hypo. You wouldn’t know the reason but you would see the sweets and judge anyway.

You categorically cannot declare someone else’s politely given opinion as “nonsense” just because you don’t agree with it! Especially when you have come on to a public forum to share your own and to ask for others’ thoughts! This isn’t an echo chamber, if that’s what you’re looking for, you know where Facebook is, go join a group!

YANBU.

I think the 'its just a snapshot' thing is largely nonsense. But, either way, even if it is 'just a snapshot' its still a snapshot of really fucking terrible parenting.

If you saw a pregnant woman walking down the road smoking or sat at the bus stop necking vodka, you wouldn't think 'oh, its just a snapshot her day, I'm sure she's a wonderful upstanding member of society the other 99% of time'

Feeding children this kind of shit should be viewed in the same way.

Bring back shame.

I agree with the principle that parents should feed their children a varied, balanced, nutritious diet. Our DC had occasional sweets / crisps / cakes as children, but have healthy attitudes to food as adults. I think the modelling of cooking and eating a family dinner, with teens pitching in to help plan / cook as they get older, does have an impact on decisions that young adults make as they become independent, along with developing sensible boundaries around food.

When I became a parent, lots of non-judgemental early parenting support services were available. NHS antenatal/ new parent services included support groups with visits from dentists and nutritionists; health visitor check-ins were much more frequent; surestart centres were also a source of vital support. NHS dental services were accessible for most people. Early, accessible education for young families can have for more positive impact than holier-than-thou lectures on Mumsnet.

I’m also keen to hear who you think should be policing the school gates for treats. Teachers are ensuring safe handovers of children. TAs aren’t usually employed beyond the end of the school day. Headteachers / Pastoral managers are often managing work around vulnerable children. Schools can’t afford staff to be the school gate sweetie police, because they are suffering from the same underfunding that family health services and social services have had.

I disagree, I think he genuinely wanted to improve school meals.

I’m also type 1. I also had constant sweets and fizzy for my hypos until I realised they were wrecking my teeth and switched to bananas, oat bars, fruit juice cartons etc - give it a try.

Giving a child a few sweeties is “fucking terrible parenting?!” - Oh that is so peak Mumsnet, it’s hilarious!!!! 😆

[Meanwhile, Comvit rearranges the cupboard full of sweets for her own kids…] 🤫

She’s not wrong. Giving a 3 year old such garbage at 9am is terrible parenting. It just is. Same as sitting next to kids and smoking. It’s just bad.

we need to model the behaviour/habits we expect from our children. My children grew up overseas. When ds was at kindergarten, the children and teachers all sat together for their morning snack: fruit, sandwich, carrot sticks etc so for him this was normal snack food.

Oat bars are full of raisins and soft fruit which any dentist will tell you, get stuck in between teeth and absolutely destroy them! Wayyyy worse than any sweets.
Fruit juice contains various acids and destroy teeth.
Try again! Also worse for teeth than sweets!

I obviously didn't mean every single child. It's not a fantastical stereotype.
It's what I observe.

As for poverty, how come the children munching as they go round the supermarket aren't eating the free fruit available by the entrance? Why are the ones in town not eating fruit from the good and reasonable greengrocer? Why is it Pringles and Oreos they are eating? Why are kids eating Feasts and Magnums on their way home from school?

The toddlers in buggies are sucking on 'jooce' not water or milk. It's usually a slightly syrupy-looking reddish drink.

You might be in a completely different area, but here the number of obviously overweight children is shocking.

Poverty gets used as an excuse. It's a factor not a cause.

No I can’t carry a banana around with me to allow him to have 1/4 or the same for a carton of juice. Neither are a practical option for a small dose treatment out and about.
Bananas also have too much fibre to be a good treatment option.
Fruit juice isn’t any better on teeth than sweets, the acid often means it’s actually worse.

Certainly not an oat bar!

What an odd set of recommendations from someone who is also diabetic.

but at least you gave him a good start in life and that means a lot

I really hate that my mum gave me carcinogenic food in the 90s, I hate the fact that a lot of my food was warmed up in plastic tubs, in the microwave, she cooked from scratch,But would often reheat things in plastic. cancers have really surged and people are blaming it on the Covid jab but they've been eating shit for the past 30 years.

OP, I agree with you.If these parents were giving their small children alcohol or cigarettes people would be calling social services, yet no one bats an eyelid when they constantly feed their kids something which is just as toxic in the long term.

Why on earth are you asking me these questions?! Are you quite alright?!

No I don't know what their life looks like. But I do know that not every obese or overweight child in the UK has school problems that require sweets as bribery to get them there or that all the kids with cavities are living on the edge of some breakdown. It's simply not possible given the extreme numbers of children who are given too much sugar.

You only have to look at the threads on baby food when it was announced that actually, Ellas kitchen pouches aren't good things to wean your baby on and one pouch has their whole daily allowance of sugar in it. So many parents were SHOCKED because has vegetables on the packet and it says it's healthy so it must be right!? Even though the sugar content was printed clearly on the packet for them to read. People honestly see no problem with the bast quantities of sugar they feed to their children despite all health care advice telling them not to and more evidence everyday about how it is destroying their childrens long term health. Making out we should feel sorry for them all because we don't know what their lives are like and telling them it's okay because they had a bad day so shovel the sugar in is both making out that it's not a problem when it is and giving excuses where there aren't any so people just carry on without thinking they're doing anything wrong.

Encouraging comfort eating in small children is setting them up for a lifetime of weight and health problems so if people's children are really struggling emotionally to the level you think absolves them of responsibility not to fill their kids with sweets, I really hope coping skills that don't involve food are being taught.

What?! I use these all the time, they work perfectly. Oat bars are particularly good as they’re very effective with a slower spike, and keep for years in your bag and won’t squash. I buy small cartons of juice like for lunch boxes.

He’ll be diabetic forever. His long term health is very important.

Oh the sanctimoniousness of parents who get their children to the ripe old age of three and think they've cracked this parenting lark for ever.
Your child isn't even at school yet. Of course you can control their diet, there are no external influences whatsoever in her life.
I've told this story many time on here, and been laughed at by those who think they know better, but I'll tell it again. I used to run a toddler group and there was one parent who would not allow her children anything that could remotely be described as unhealthy. There was no grey area, just an outright ban.
One Christmas party, as usual her children were not allowed to pick their own food but were firmly sat down while she picked their food for them (plate piled high with veg sticks, no dip, one cheese sandwich quarter divided between the two of them, nothing sweet at all - note this was a party). The other children went off to play and we tidied up - and found the little boy under the table eating the cakes etc that had been dropped by the others.
Fast forward 20 years, and those children are now both hugely overweight, I guess because they never learned to regulate their eating and once away from their mother, went wild.
This is true. You may think you are doing everything right and at the moment you can sit smugly because your child is compliant. Don't assume it will always be the case.

And don't forget the tuck shop run by the school every morning too....

Why on earth would a slower spike be beneficial when treating a hypo?!
Your advice couldn’t be worse.

Because the effects are controllable and don’t result in a ricochet. The juice targets the hypo immediately, the oats then follow and produce a slow burn release to bring it under control.

Being diabetic is awful, but the constant slumps and highs from endless refined sugar is actually my most hated part of it. I feel a million times better since I ditched the rubbish. Overtreating is too easy with sugary sweets.