To despair at the crap some people feed their kids

[Apotofrealcoffee]

Currently watching a kid who can’t be more than age 3, tuck in to a packet of ‘squashie’ sweets on the bus. No sign of a tantrum, kid seems perfectly happy looking out the window, but out come the sweets. And to pre empt the ‘snobbery’ thing, the parent seems middle class to me and certainly eloquent.

I regularly see kids tucking into chocolate bars, packets of crisps, lollies, all on the school run. Many of them toddlers in their buggies dropping off older siblings. Parents meeting kids at the school gate with full packets of Oreos, bottles of pop, doughnuts.

I’ve been trying not to judge for years and have been repeatedly told it’s ’just one snapshot of their day’ but honestly, I feel like the time for judgement has entered. I have never fed my toddlers crap like that, let alone just after breakfast. My 3 year old has never had a fizzy drink.

Why, just why! AIBU to feel there needs to be some kind of very direct public health campaign at this point? Maybe even a ‘no sweets at the school gate’ rule?

You said they're too young for treats and too young for the concept of treat food? But obviously that isnt true.

I also ate sweets, cakes and had fizzy drinks. I am retired, have all my own teeth. At the moment I am fit and healthy.

I think in 10 years time, the parents of today, will also be told that the way they are currently feeding their children was not right. It happens with nearly every generation. I believe anything in moderation is absolutely fine 🙂

Sweets and junk food should be banned outright. Shops should not be allowed to sell food that has little or no nutritional value.

No!!

You could easily see me giving my child a bag of sweets to have after school. But you didn’t see the veggies and hummus, yogurt, and fruit he had for lunch; the porridge he had for breakfast; or the mince and tatties he had for dinner.

This is why the country is in the state it is in. We live in a democratic society with freedom of choice. We don't need to be told, we know the risks, it's our choice!

You also won’t see the 1-2 hours of sport he does almost every day so a wee bag of haribo is hardly the end of the world

6 before the occasional fizzy juice was allowed here. Sweets similar age but chocolate was earlier.
My youngest is 8 and got a ton for Halloween. No way do I want all that sugar in him. His teen brother has hoovered up some of it, otherwise I’ve allowed a sweetie now and then.
They both eat fruit and veg and normal foods. Though I expect the 15 yr old often goes to the sweet shop when he goes out at lunch at school!
The oldest has ARFID so is a special case but I’ve raised them all the same.

I had no sweets, crisps, cake anything as a child. As soon as I was in secondary, I started buying it. Definitely have issues with ‘treat’ foods now.
The bigger issue is that’s these foods are normalised and used daily by all people. But also you have no idea what else people are going through.

But it is - having an ice cream when you’re out is part of the day, cake at a party is party food, not giving it or making a big fuss is making it a ‘treat’ as in something out of the ordinary- not oh you’ve been so good here’s a treat - or eat your dinner and you can have a treat - or randomly giving sweets as a treat - because then they’re being differentiated and makes them want them 10x more. Giving sweets to a baby on a bus is completely different

We drive everywhere so getting on the bus and going to the museum is a day out for us. I don't know the lady's circumstances, neither do you nor the OP.

You do know all that good stuff doesn't negate the harm done by the sweets don't you.

It's great that you feed them well most of the time but a bag of sweets every day after school is really not good.

Can’t outrun a bad diet!

Usain Bolt did. 1,000 Mcnuggets, 3 world records, 3 Golds.

The OP described the child as around 3. Baby at 3? My kids were a year into pre-school at 3, being invited to little parties with their pre-school friends at the weekend (heaven forbid there were sweets and cake there and party bags!) and didn’t have a buggy (not judging others at all, but the buggy had gone for us at 3). Describing a 3 year old as a baby is ridiculous.

Its also a few days after Halloween - the overwhelming majority of kids from pre-school to teens will have been trick or treating on Saturday, maybe been to a Halloween party or had sweets and chocolate from seeing relatives over half term. My teens got treats from relatives. Most parents will be sensibly spreading those treats out over a number of days/weeks and most households currently have a more than normal amount of sweets at home. Its once a year. Get a grip!

Some people on here would have their hair standing on end if they saw what we ate in the 80s. Paste (UPF) sandwiches, crisps, chocolate bar and squash was standard pack up. A few slices of cucumber in the sandwich was the closest most people got to raw veg in their lunch. Sugary cereal with more sugar added for breakfast. Cups of tea from being a few weeks old. Angel delight, fiendish feet and other horrors for desserts. Findus crispy pancakes, fishfingers etc regularly. Yet here most of us are. I guess we will see in due course what the longer term effects are and I do agree that that level of processed food was not great. But the pendulum has swung too far the other way in some cases and people are living highly anxious and miserable lives due to orthorexia and obsessing over sugar/fat/UPFs etc. Moderation and common sense are probably best.

I know what you mean OP. The amount of sugary shite and snacks people feed their kids is gross. Sugary yogurts, endless crisps, chocolate, sweets cakes etc. It must cost a fortune! It's a waste of money, doesn't fill them at all and creates an unhealthy relationship with food.

My dd is 3 and I just don't buy this sort of thing unless we are having a picnic/party etc. We do bake a lot so she does have homemade stuff, but I do try and make healthier versions using wholemeal flour etc. If going out for a meal she gets fruit juice or lemonade, at parties she gets to eat/drink what she wants. I'm lucky she's a good eater so would be difficult if she was a picky eater.

We do have a treat day once per week (usually Friday) and she gets to pick a cake/small bag of sweets etc.

The good doesn't negate the bad. It's still extra calories and sugar he doesn't need. Eating good things afterwards doesn't equal minus calories or sugar. Like putting salad on your burger doesn't negate the calories and fat in it!

Lots of overweight people eat healthily 95% of the time. It's the extra shit they eat on top that's the problem.

My 3 year old has never had pop is the oddest flex I've ever seen

I don't think most people give toddlers cans of coke

@DrCoconut you've just described my childhood! Throw in a Fray Bentos pie too for good measure haha

You literally describe exactly what this girl may have been doing. Perhaps its was her ‘treat day’ with her Mum like your child has. Perhaps they had saved that bag of sweets from trick or treating?

The whole point is OP made a judgement based on seeing one little girl out with her Mum, a few days after a day which is pretty much all about costumes and sweets.

If the OP was making a general point about kids not having sweets every day and having balance and exercise in a child’s diet, then im all for that.

OP was just being plain judgemental.

How pedantic. It's a well known fact that you can't exercise away a bad diet. That's not to say no treats at all, it's saying as long as someones general overal diet is balanced then that's what is important. If your diet is shit and full of junk food and sugar then you can't exercise your way to being healthy. Using one extreme example of someone is just an immature argument and unnecessarily arguing a point for the sake of being "right".

My kid loves haribos. Obsessed with them. She also eats lots of fruit and veg. I cook fresh meals most evenings but she will occasionally have a beige tea too. It’s balance. I’d rather let her have some of the things she likes rather than start her off on the ‘good food / bad food’ mindset from a young age. As long as they get nutrients too I can’t get worked up about what other people feed their kids. Certainly wouldn’t enter my head to start a MN thread about it.

That wasn't everyone though.

I grew up yes having a fish paste sandwich 🤢 but on the whole my mum (who was never the best cook) having proper dinners with veg because thats how she grew up. Of course we had an oven pizza or an Iceland ready meal but the majority was proper food. I never had nuggets, fish fingers or findus pancakes, thats what the "skanky" families had according to my mum (we were a poor family, mum did several cleaning jobs to make ends meet but her mindset was the kids were fed proper meals). If I ever had to make my kids a quick fish fingers and chips meal when they were small i'd think in my head it's plebby tea tonight!

So, no more herbs and spices