To despair at the crap some people feed their kids

[Apotofrealcoffee]

Currently watching a kid who can’t be more than age 3, tuck in to a packet of ‘squashie’ sweets on the bus. No sign of a tantrum, kid seems perfectly happy looking out the window, but out come the sweets. And to pre empt the ‘snobbery’ thing, the parent seems middle class to me and certainly eloquent.

I regularly see kids tucking into chocolate bars, packets of crisps, lollies, all on the school run. Many of them toddlers in their buggies dropping off older siblings. Parents meeting kids at the school gate with full packets of Oreos, bottles of pop, doughnuts.

I’ve been trying not to judge for years and have been repeatedly told it’s ’just one snapshot of their day’ but honestly, I feel like the time for judgement has entered. I have never fed my toddlers crap like that, let alone just after breakfast. My 3 year old has never had a fizzy drink.

Why, just why! AIBU to feel there needs to be some kind of very direct public health campaign at this point? Maybe even a ‘no sweets at the school gate’ rule?

We bribe our preschooler with chocolate and it works. No toilet accidents this week? Definitely chocolate at the weekend. It is effective and is one of the mini types of sweets (celebrations size).

Don't forget there has just been Halloween so be careful as you will be triggered this week by parents making their kids spread it out over days rather than stuffing their faces in one evening.

I'm sure some kids are stuffing themselves with sweets and rubbish but it's cheaper than berries and we are in a cost of living crisis. You might need to deep breathe your way through this week, and if you can't there's always chocolate?

I am saying that research shows that demonosing junk food places a high value on it which leads to disordered eating in teens and young adults. It is healthy to raise DC on a balanced diet with the occasional treat or bit of junk food thrown in without it being placed as a high value treat or something out of grasp.

I agree with you OP.
Still, at least you don't mention this kid throwing up.
This happened on a bus I was travelling on, needless to say the mother didn't even have any tissues or such like to clean the child.
I had to do it!

I find if you’ve raised them healthy eating they will indulge in junk now and then but see it as an occasional treat. Once you are in a habit it tends to stick. Which is why sweets after school from primary is such a bad habit.

Children who are ND are more likely to have a limited diet related to ND.

Oh dear wait till you find out about advent calendars!!
A chocolate?! Every morning?!

Well junk as an occasional treat I agree with.

But so what if they are? It's absolutely none of my business and I wouldn't be standing there in faux shock pretending that I am aghast on behalf of the toll it takes on society and the demand on the NHS when really I would just be judging them because I think I am superior to them.

This is not something I recognise. Perhaps it’s the area you live in.

Listen, there were times my child was restricting to the point al she'd have eaten from that is the apple. I'd have peed my pants with excitement of shed eaten a ham sandwich and a cheese string. Fruit and veg aplenty in my house, I cannot get protein into the child.

I eat bananas because they taste good. Ditto Freddos.

But you get one chocolate not a packet.

In our house, sweets are a treat. I buy my children a packet of sweets OR a chocolate bar every day for after school since they have gone a couple of hours since lunch time with nothing to eat. I don't agree with the fizzy pop. That's something my children have alongside a meal out or a takeaway meal (which doesn't happen often at all) I don't think it's bad parenting to allow children to have such treats but I do think it's irresponsible to give them sweets and fizzy pop ALL the time. Are they making sure their children brush their teeth? Are they teaching them about obesity or keeping an eye on their children's weight? Because I also see a lot of children with not so healthy teeth and a some that are overweight. THAT is a bigger concern for me. This is when I consider it child neglect/abuse because they're not taking their child's physical and oral health into consideration and in turn, they're setting them up for being bullied or even self loathing and depression when they become aware of themselves, not to mention health issues.

Yep!

I'm delighted that my child will eat a ham sandwich because it is pretty much the only type of sandwich he will eat. I'd also be delighted if he'd eat a cheese string and an apple!

But we've also never had as much advice and policy and campaigning around healthy eating as in the last 10 years, have we? Compared to 90s and earlier pre-sugar tax, pre restrictions on advertising junk food, pre traffic lights system on food, pre any awareness of UPFs, pre schools having rules on packed lunches, pre Jamie Oliver revolutionising school dinners and outlawing turkey twizzlers etc. Yet clearly none of that is having a net impact because obesity continues to rise.

Wow everyone is jumping on OP. Yes the bus was a snapshot of their day, but even if this toddler eats healthy all the time, I don’t know why you would give a 3 year old who is happily staring out the window, sweets. Sounds like they didn’t ask for them, weren’t looking for a snack and so basically had no need for them. Sweets are all sugar and no nutrition, so sugar spike, sugar crash, plaque on teeth. Really not sure of the benefits in this situation! I agree OP it’s weird some people’s thought process.

OP, I totally agree with you. I also think that a lot of people feed themselves rubbish as well and think it is fine. One of the things I have learned from being on MN is that a lot of people seem to think that having packets of crisps, sweets and biscuits on your shopping list every week is normal. If I have friends coming round for coffee then I will buy, or even make, a cake but that is about it.

A limited diet can exclude UPF’s.

Societal trends are hard for individuals to break free of and do something about, hence they are trends! We live in an obesogenic society.

I do feed my 3 year old crap. He eats crisps, chocolate, cake, snack bars. I know he shouldn't be eating any of it, and these things are certainly not the go-to foods we give him, but he does have more than he should and I do agree with you. Sometimes is as a treat, sometimes it's as a reward, sometimes it's just because.

I think we're too quick to justify these things for some reason but we all know our kids are getting fatter and less healthy with more dental concerns. There's only one reason for that.

Fair play for the self awareness!

Yep my son is severley autistic
And actuallly eats incredibily well now
But was very restricted in what he ate when he was younger if he tried and ate a new thing i would tske it as a win even if it wasent the healthiest option.

Depends on just how limited the child's diet is in the first place. I'm just grateful when my son eats honestly.

I was good with my toddlers, controlling what my teenagers eat and stopping them from having sweets / unhealthy food, all whilst looking after home and working a full-time job - failed miserably at.

Of course it’s harder with teens.

But if a person is a healthy weight at 16, their odds of becoming obese as an adult is 8%.

If they’re already obese at 16, it’s 85%.