To despair at the crap some people feed their kids

[Apotofrealcoffee]

Currently watching a kid who can’t be more than age 3, tuck in to a packet of ‘squashie’ sweets on the bus. No sign of a tantrum, kid seems perfectly happy looking out the window, but out come the sweets. And to pre empt the ‘snobbery’ thing, the parent seems middle class to me and certainly eloquent.

I regularly see kids tucking into chocolate bars, packets of crisps, lollies, all on the school run. Many of them toddlers in their buggies dropping off older siblings. Parents meeting kids at the school gate with full packets of Oreos, bottles of pop, doughnuts.

I’ve been trying not to judge for years and have been repeatedly told it’s ’just one snapshot of their day’ but honestly, I feel like the time for judgement has entered. I have never fed my toddlers crap like that, let alone just after breakfast. My 3 year old has never had a fizzy drink.

Why, just why! AIBU to feel there needs to be some kind of very direct public health campaign at this point? Maybe even a ‘no sweets at the school gate’ rule?

Yep…

You haven't really answered, though, and I find it hard to believe you give your child a jacket potato at the school gates!

If you are giving your child sweets or doughnuts every day at the school gate, that's not great for reasons that are not only related to healthy eating.

Agree. And sometimes, even if it is a 'snapshot' its really crap. Saw a couple last week...baby about 12 months maybe. Coffee shop inside a shopping centre, all bundled up in a cosy toes and coat. Red cheeked, hot and bothered, crying. One adult went off for drinks, other one, instead of getting.g baby out, taking off coat, giving it some attention, was desperately shoving his phone in the baby's face. Baby threw it on the floor twice. Adult kept picking it up, held it in the baby's hand scrolling until something g eventually caught the kid's attention and he settled down a bit. Adult sat down and complete ignored kid for the entire time they were sat there. And before anyone asks, they were right in my eyeline on the opposite side of the glass window so I wasn't staring, or taking an unhealthy interest. They were less than a foot away. I just thought it was really sad that they are actively teaching this tiny child to soothe itself with a screen instead of a few minutes of knee bouncing and a fabric book.

Do nobody else's kids get up at the arse crack of dawn? Some kids will have had breakfast hours before school time, they're absolutely ready for a snack come 9am. Or my 2 are anyway, but they're grazers by nature. Both good weights, on the skinny side actually, especially my youngest daughter. Genetics play a part too. Are sweets an ace snack? Not every day, but it was Halloween 2 days ago. I'm imagining the carnage my youngest can cause with a yoghurt pouch! You can't be cracking them out on the bus, surely

The issue is not being viewed as boring. We know that demonising foods and putting junk food on a pedestal creates an unhealthy relationship with food in the long term and eating disorders ie obesity. You can't judge parents in an obesity crisis when research shows children raised this way are at higher risk of becoming obese or having an unhealthy relationship with food.

These types of threads never grow old i joinrd mumsnet 17 years ago when i was pregnant and had a toddler
I remember a poster being aghast at a toddler being given a Greggs sausage roll and a fruit shoot.😂

And so far how much success have we had turning this around by shaming and judging their parents?! What’s that? None?! it’s getting worse you say?!

So pointing out a child eating sweets on a bus isn’t really about the kids’ health is it, it’s about feeling superior to someone else and using health concern as a veil.

There definitely is a "better". People don't eat bananas for their nonexistant calcium content anyway, any more than they eat bacon for its nonexistant fibre. Bananas meanwhile are an excellent source of potassium.

OK, I was generally supportive of your views until this, OP. Shaming someone is never helpful. it's nasty, presumptuous and judgemental.

Like shaming single mums but not the absent dads.
Like shaming mums who can't afford a car and have to rely on the local corner shop for groceries (zero greengrocery, generally expensive and severely lacking choice)
Like shaming mums who have ND children, and are doing their best to get them to eat at all.
Like shaming mums who have coped with a screaming teething baby overnight and have reached breaking point.

No thanks. I believe dcs could be fed much better food but the mum's sanity and their general finances are relevant too. People need support not someone verbally sticking the boot in.

I was going to mention orthorexia. Close relative was very unwell with thisED . She comes from a very relaxed family regarding diet but having ‘healthy eating’ obsession on SM ,peer pressure etc really did a number on her!

Children with ADHD consistently consume significantly higher amounts of UPFs than children without ADHD.

It would help if food at school was better. DDs' at primary school sounded great on paper but in reality it was at best overpriced slop in a plastic tray and at worst if they were second sitting they would actually run out of food.

At secondary school they hardly had any time and the queues were massive so kids relied on anything they could get quickly which tends to be carbs and fat.

We're still going about it all the wrong way at school in a lot of cases.

No, it's about being aware of obvious facts, and trying to raise some awareness of repercussions for those who are steadfastly unaware - which are lifelong and serious. Having a liver transplant as a teen because of NAFLD is no joke, and limb amputations or kidney failure likewise are not fun.

Go ahead and be the life of the party, though.

I’m not defensive at all. We all care about our kids health. We are all good mums doing our best. It’s not a competition.

I feed my child a wide range of meals and snacks and don’t want him to grow up being weird, judgemental or disordered around food.

Don't be facetious.
People DO feed their kids crap and our NHS is paying the price.

I totally agree with you OP.

It is not so difficult to provide plenty of food to a child while avoiding UPF and sugary treats. There are so many ideas out there in social media! A different story is when they become teens, then they'll eat whatever, but as a parents, we should provide a solid nutritional education.

Are you saying avoiding junk food when young leads to disordered eating and obesity later in life? I’ve raised DC in a circle of middle class hummus wrap type mums and I can tell you it doesn’t.

Me neither. I’ve also not seen hordes of toothless obese children sweating and panting across the playground.

Agree with this. I have never really restricted by daughter who is 10 and I am certain she can take or leave sweets or chocolate because they haven’t been banned or restricted!

No amount of ‘support’ will change their minds. Many people are sadly lazy and deprioritise their kids health, citing their own mental health and ‘not judging’.

We’ve never had less judgement, more support and ‘be kind’ as we do now - has it worked? Are kids healthy mentally and physically? Nope.

I don’t want to shock you but some people are of the opinion that food tastes nice.
Have we all collectively forgotten about enjoyment?!
It’s not normal or healthy to have this hyper fixation on “health” Just live your lives!
You know what’s really healthy?… happiness!!

Probably because you don’t see them being given junk!

If that parent can turn up at the gates with a Dominoes there’s no reason I can’t bring a jacket potato!

I wouldn’t give that to them either. Maybe the sausage roll, once in a blue moon on a long car journey.

I honestly think some people think if they eat enough salad they'll live forever.