To not want my 2-year-old to go trick or treating?

[MunchkinGrower]

Strangers houses. Begging. Sweets and chocolate. Anyone else not massively keen on this for their toddlers? Mine doesn't even know what sweets and chocolate are yet!

Interesting that Catholics aren't participating for religious reasons. I thought the Catholics invented it, or at least adapted the pagan festival of samhain.
IME it's the CofE Churches in our area that don't like Halloween and have an alternative "light" party where the children wear white.
Most "Catholic" countries are pretty big on it as the Eve of all hallows (All Saints and Souls).

That's all part of parenting and a good lesson for children that treats should be in moderation.

People are so fucking miserable.

Give the girl some chocolate.

Yes, you're correct. I am of irish Catholic heritage (not of the faith myself) and it is a Catholic festival. However, the spooky stuff is something our local Catholic church strongly disapproves of. They do an alternative mass. Something about light and saints?

So don’t take your toddler. Why start a thread on it?!

But I’m guessing this is more a way of judging parents that do!

My house is clearly trick or treat friendly, decorations up, pumpkins out, we love it. I had many littlies (and a lot of amazing teens) and I loved every minute of spoiling them, didn’t for one minute think they were ‘begging’. All came with lovely thankful happy parents.

It was a lovely FUN evening and mostly over by 7:30, hardly late night!

Perhaps it is a Community Event in some areas. But in a lot of areas it has become children knocking on doors and expecting to be given sweeties. No doing party acts. Just pure expectation of being given sweets.
I don't have any Halloween decorations up . Last night the doorbell went despite this. I was genuinely worried because of the on going problems with anti social behaviour by local children and youths. So i looked at the security camera footage. A young girl m - looked about 7 - had come running round the corner and up my path to ring the bell. She was followed by a wee boy - probably 3 or 4 - who also came up the.path. Then round the corner came their " accompanying adult": a guy walking very slowly immersed in looking at his phone. He didn't even know where the children were and almost walked past then saw them at my doir and waited from them. So what "Comminity event" is that? Allowing his children to go to a total strangers door when the stranger obviously wasn't up for welcoming them and noticed being alert to the danger his children were possibly in or the inconvenience to other residents.

You are allowed your own views on sweets and fizzy drinks, as am I. But just because you view Halloween as a Community event doesnt mean to say that is everybody's experience of it.

But anti social action by some children is not the point of the thread. If that is happening in your area you should call the police.

completely different discussion about whether a 2 year old should be taken by a responsible parent.

It’s not compulsory so you don’t have to, but you also don’t have to judge others who do it- it’s a well established tradition, just because it’s not your tradition. Live and let live.

No judgement, just a sanity check. I hadn't even considered it until asked by several people, this year and last, if I would be taking him. As mentioned, I'm interested in other people's views.

.I have no idea how parents take the sweets away after trick or treating and only let them have a few treats! My child would be 'very upset'.

Well that is called parenting.

Who is forcing you to go trick or treating?

I love halloween (i am irish - it is traditional there and has been since pagan times). But tbf we didn't do trick or treating when I only had one two year old. I think we started when she as four and then only to people we knew.

If you has asked for opinions without parroting the "beggin" comment you had from your parents and whoever else, this is what I would've said.

@MunchkinGrower I have no idea how parents take the sweets away after trick or treating and only let them have a few treats! My child would be 'very upset'.

Sounds like you have much bigger issues than trick or treating then!

I take my 2 year with their 5 year old sibling. They eat one or two things while out, come home look through all their sweets and pick another couple while answering the door to other trick or treaters, when they’ve had a couple they put the rest in the trick or treat bowl and enjoy sharing with other kids.
They aren’t upset and screaming because they’ve only been allowed a few.

Begging 🤣🤣🤣 only on mumsnet

You can be as precious as you like with your older child (I'm not saying you're precious, OP, just that this is a general rule). If you have another child, you'll have to take them from the outset if you're taking the older one and half the rules you had when the older one was young will go out the window.

My first child didn't go trick or treating until age 4. My second was toddling round at 18 months.

Halloween is not mandatory & so nor is trick or treating.

ive never taken either of mine out and are both well rounded adults now. I just felt we spent all year telling them don’t talk to strangers, don’t take sweets off of strangers then one night of the year we are encouraging them to do this.

mine never missed out they went to Halloween brownie parties etc

It's just a bit of fun. Don't over complicate. It's not begging, participation is optional!

Lucky you having a 2-year-old that never cries or screams!

Two is a bit young for all the sweets etc if they’re not tagging along with older siblings, but really it’s not “begging from strangers” if those strangers have deliberately decorated their houses to look fun for kids, bought sweets etc in on purpose, and are hoping to provide a nice fun communal activity for the local children. You don’t send them off in the dark by themselves to knock on doors unsolicited! The decorations are a direct invitation and I love it the more kids we get - it’s fun, I love seeing the dressing up, the v cute little ones and even the awkward teens.

I do think it’s a misconception to see it as “begging from strangers” these days when it’s clearly a communal event with invitation. It can be really lovely and heart warming! I can understand not wanting your kids to do it if it is strongly against your religion or something, but otherwise just give it a try. For little ones who you don’t want to have many sweets, just go to a few houses and head home.

eta - i don’t think we took ours out trick or treating till they were at school, didn’t really want two / three year olds to end up with loads of sweets and they’d have been too shy anyway at that age. Was no biggie - they went out from about 4 or 5. We get mostly kids school age upwards, littler ones tend to be with slightly older school age siblings (and parents of course).

I don't think it's a great idea to be limited by what your dcs cry and scream about. I always prepared my kids for what was going to happen - so I'd tell them. for example - you'll get to chose three sweets and then we'll put the rest away for another day. If they screamed and cried when I put them away I reminded them and refused to budge on the issue - they quickly realise you are true to your word and things are more fun for them as a consequence because you are not avoiding a lovely experience just in case they scream.

Obviously you don't have to do trick-or-treating if you don't want to. DS1 never wanted to do it, ds2 wanted to so I did it (reluctantly) with him. He wasn't bothered about eating the sweets that much though- it wasn't uncommon to get to Easter and find a load of Halloween sweets in the larder.

Now that my two are grown, however, I really enjoy decorating outside and having sweets ready. All the children are very polite, they've all clearly taken the time and trouble to dress up (as have some of the accompanying parents) and the tinies are adorable. One in particular , last night (a little ghost) completely stole my heart as he stood and waved for ages down the driveway. He even blew me a kiss 😁

I don't see them asking for sweets as begging- that's a bizarre notion, to my mind. Maybe a reward for courtesy, entertaining me, community spirit, bringing joy- any and all of these.

Why does your child cry and scream over sweets so often if they never see them? Seems like a very over the top reason to not take a child trick or treating.
Not wanting to is one thing, being afraid of the reaction when you tell your child no or that they’ve had enough of something is so passive.
It’s just funny how you’re trying to feel smug about other parents allowing their child to “beg” while avoiding any situations that mean you might have to enforce a rule for your child which makes them unhappy.

My DD went a couple of times with friends. She didn’t really enjoy it, so we switched to decorating our house, putting out a pumpkin and then she’d answer the door dressed up and give out sweets. She was much happier doing that.

personally, it’s one of my fave community nights of the year. I love to see so many littlies having a good time, squealing and laughing in groups. Everyone follows the rule of putting a pumpkin out if they’re happy to have children knocking. The kids don’t knock if there isn’t a lit pumpkin.

Its a massive community event here. Those who want to participate decorate their homes. All the kids dress up. Its really lovely.