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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want my 2-year-old to go trick or treating?

130 replies

MunchkinGrower · Today 04:41

Strangers houses. Begging. Sweets and chocolate. Anyone else not massively keen on this for their toddlers? Mine doesn't even know what sweets and chocolate are yet!

OP posts:
PollyBell · Today 04:43

Isn't it a bit late for that now?

Glow25 · Today 04:45

Not unreasonable not to take them but I took my 3 year old for the first time, they absolutely loved it.
was so nice to see the community together and the effort people had gone to.
Not sure how it’s begging? The people giving out the sweets have literally gone to a massive effort so that people knock their door.
But also Halloween was last night.

Mumtobabyhavoc · Today 04:47

Begging.

🙄

MunchkinGrower · Today 04:56

Yes it's too late for this year obviously. Just opening the debate. I know they'll have to eventually. I'm interested in other views.

OP posts:
PollyBell · Today 04:58

MunchkinGrower · Today 04:56

Yes it's too late for this year obviously. Just opening the debate. I know they'll have to eventually. I'm interested in other views.

Why? We never did it they weren't fussed

Not every child wants to do what everyone else does

Starlight7080 · Today 05:03

We have never taken our children trick or treating. They are all now teens. And all are fine they still love halloween. We just always planned fun things. Either at home or we visited family and had a little kids Halloween party. Filled with games and themed buffet.
Or visited places that had halloween kids events . Like the cinema .

OhBettyCalmDown · Today 05:06

You can enjoy Halloween without trick or treating. Although, I don’t see it as begging. Our entire town knows you only go to houses that are decorated. So really anyone who has gone to that effort is actively participating & welcoming children.

At 2 there’s even less of a reason to worry about it they don’t know what’s going on anyway

Bouncywaves · Today 05:15

I used to host a children's Halloween party every year. It rotated among my sons with one year with my eldest child's friend's and then the next year the youngest one's friends. With creepy food and decorations. I can't remember the food very clearly now but I used to handmake chocolate frogs with a mould using white chocolate coloured green. (Don't use ordinary food colouring for this - use the special chocolate stuff.) My sons certainly didn't go out trick or treating. I think most parents were glad of a Halloween event that didn't involve their children going out begging and where they were in a secure environment.

Dontcallmescarface · Today 05:23

Trick or treating isn't a legal obligation, you don't have to do it. FWIW my DD never did it, she just wasn't interested

Crumpled86 · Today 05:39

You do you. When ours were litte we often did Halloween events instead. For instance our local softplay would have a Halloween themed party or we'd go pumpkin picking etc. We then stayed in but handed out sweets to other people's children and my own saw their friends coming to our door. After that, they decided they wanted to go out too so we did. Yesterday they wanted to go with friends on our estate so I took them.

I never went as a child, my dad had similar thoughts to yourself. It wasn't a big a thing in my area though. My dh isn't particularly keen (faith related) but I really don't think it is that deep, just kids having a bit of fun.

VashtaNerada · Today 06:04

Remember, you would only visit houses that are decorated or have a pumpkin so it’s not like you’re begging from people who don’t want to give!
I would be led by your child. Once they’re older they may ask to go or they may not. I think it’s a nice tradition to do together but as other posters have pointed out there are other nice things you can do on that day together as well.

GingerKombucha · Today 06:12

My children love it. Where we are, it's a beautiful community event where houses are decorated and adults dress up. We had a party first and the kids went trick or treating after and had so much fun. We also had about 250 trick or treaters visit us. It's not begging when it's freely offered. Completely reasonable to not take your kids but I wouldn't prevent my children from enjoying one of the highlights of their year (I was informed it's better than Christmas by my 4 year old).

SeniorSausage · Today 06:14

It's not begging. Its a community event whereby people who want to give out sweets to children who have dressed up literally advertise the fact by decorating or putting out a pumpkin. Its obviously not compulsory. Just like any event you can chose whether or not to join in. The main issue we have had is the vast quantity of sweets that the kids get and needing to ration it a bit so they don't make themselves ill by scoffing the lot. When they were little it was easy to take it away and let them have one or two things and they quickly forgot about it.

tripleginandtonic · Today 06:17

MunchkinGrower · Today 04:56

Yes it's too late for this year obviously. Just opening the debate. I know they'll have to eventually. I'm interested in other views.

Its not compulsory. If you don't want them to do it then they won't do it.

IronEverything · Today 06:17

Your 2 year old doesn't even know what chocolate is?

Overthebow · Today 06:20

MunchkinGrower · Today 04:56

Yes it's too late for this year obviously. Just opening the debate. I know they'll have to eventually. I'm interested in other views.

Why do they have to eventually? That’s up to you, they don’t have to and there’s plenty of other Halloween activities they could do instead. My 2 year old does go trick or treating, his older sister goes and he loves it. It’s a really nice community event here and people make a big effort.

User76443998 · Today 06:24

We don’t @celebrate@ Halloween. I let my children go trick or treating once (they were older primary age) because they asked me and they were terribly excited but actually didn’t like the reality at all. They didn’t like going to strangers houses to ask for sweets and they found some of the other children/teens a bit scary.

I’m glad I let them go once but they never asked to go again!

Oldbaglady46 · Today 06:25

Mine both started when they were about 3 and love it. When they are little you don’t go to many houses and spread the sweets out over a few weeks. It’s not begging because only houses that want to take part do and it is obvious which houses are open for Halloween. It wasn’t a big thing when I was a kid and bonfire night was more important. I have come round to Halloween now as the kids love it so much. It’s fun decorating the house and carving pumpkins. Both my kids had friends over last night for pizza before they went out, it was great!

User76443998 · Today 06:26

MunchkinGrower · Today 04:56

Yes it's too late for this year obviously. Just opening the debate. I know they'll have to eventually. I'm interested in other views.

They really don’t have to eventually. Many, many children don’t. For lots of reasons!

Clydebuilt · Today 06:27

So don’t do it then…

ThatLoudCat · Today 06:40

How is it begging if people are waiting at their doors with sweets they've bought specifically because they want to hand them out to trick-or-treaters?

If you stick to the rules and only go to decorated houses, then I can see how it could be begging.

I wouldn't personally do it at two, but maybe three onwards when she understands what's happening better (our DD only just turned 2.)

Lookingforwardtospringnextyear · Today 06:43

My son is an adult now. He certainly was never was given sweets - or fizzy drinks - as a toddler. In fact most of his life he has never eaten sweets apart from some as Christmas treats..
I don't understand why so many parents normalise sweet eating for children right from a very very young age.
I agree with you OP. Taking a child that young round begging for sweets is really not appropriate. ,

Peonies12 · Today 06:48

Mine is just turned 2 and we got invited to go but didnt, I just couldn’t face traipsing round in the cold and worried she’d get scared by a kids costume. Also I didn’t want her ending up with lots of sweets! We did have trick or treaters come to our house though, which she enjoyed. I don’t see it as begging, i think it’s normal nowadays to only knock on houses with decorations i’e they want you to knock. I’ll probs take her next year. Also best not to totally withhold sweets and chocolate thst makes them even more enticing.

Batsratscatsgnats · Today 06:49

God the misery of calling it begging!! Of course its not begging bc the people giving out sweets have advertised they want to participate by decorating their house!!
We LOVE halloween. In fact after Christmas I reckon its the best day of the year. We decorate our house MORE than Christmas and tend to get through about 8 or 9 big tubs of sweets to local kids. My kids LOVE knocking on other houses and getting sweets with their mates too.
Its pretty much the only night of the year when the whole town is out and friendly and chatting to everyone (other than NYE)

notacooldad · Today 06:50

Well presumably next year she will be three, if she goes she will be supervised.and not wandering the streets alone.
You only go to houses that are taking part in the fun so its not a problem from a safety point of view but a fun evening.

Mine used to go with their older cousins.and aunty.
Dont do it if you don't want to , its not compulsory.

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