Working with high flyers and losing perspective of real life

30 replies

Aabbaas · 28/10/2026 18:42

I work for a company that employes lots of people that from a salary and education perspective would be considered “elite”. Think reaching 6 figures in their late twenties and triple that a few years later plus equity. A lot of these guys literally make millions.
I am not one of them as I work in a business support unit, however, being surrounded by so many successful people, I feel like I am losing perspective of what a good salary actually looks like.
I have worked hard to build a career and I currently earn £75K plus 15% bonus. It isn’t high but definitely a decent wage I’d say. I am 40yo.
When I see what these people are on though(I work in comp and benefits that’s why I know) it truly depresses me. MDs in their late 30s making millions. How to cope? Is anyone else in a similar situation?

OP posts:

InterIgnis · 28/10/2026 20:53

Their lives are no less real than yours, any more than yours is less real than the life of someone living in poverty in Sudan. It’s all real life. You’re not losing perspective, but seeing another perspective you weren’t previously familiar with.

Life isn’t fair. It doesn’t have to be fair, or need to be fair. There’s little point in indulging that resentment when the only person that will negatively impact is you. If there are aspects of the their lives that you want, perhaps look at whether that is something you can achieve.

Lostthetastefordahlias · 28/10/2026 21:02

Do some volunteering with those less well off than you - even start with whatever box ticking CSR volunteering your firm probably offers - get the comparison going both ways.

sunseasand25 · 28/10/2026 21:15

WiltedLettuce · 28/10/2026 19:37

I worked in an environment like this for most of my 20s and here's my take on it (more a collection of thoughts, I'm afraid, than a coherent response).

These people have mostly been working hard their whole lives. At school, at university, doing holiday internships, throughout their early 20s. With very little time off. I'm not sure this is great for their development as human beings or in terms of being able to form worthwhile, genuine relationships with other people outside of work.

These environments are often depressingly male-dominated at the higher levels. Women who succeed generally have to be smarter, tougher and work harder than everyone else. And even then, they're not part of the 'in' crowd. I never felt bad for not sticking it out because I didn't really want the life that most of the senior women had (they were often quite isolated) and I didn't want to have to work harder and be better for less. It did make me angry though, because I left fully aware that the patriarchy is alive and kicking.

Lots of people working in these roles have truly toxic personal lives. This may be anecdotal, but a lot of people where I worked were in relationships or had attitudes towards women that weren't 'healthy' or conducive to a happy, balanced life. I witnessed some truly dreadful behaviour and heard about a lot more. Yes, poor behaviour happens in all walks of life, but there is something about the hyper-competitive nature of these environments that can really screw some people up for life. They're not happy places for the most part and I don't really envy the people working in them.

This is so true! Well said. I have met some of the most toxic people ever in a competitive male dominated working environment. The patriarchy is very alive there. It’s like being in a time warp.

KnickerlessFlannel · 28/10/2026 21:20

I often think that with relatively high earners, the jobs also need to support others to allow the wage earner to do their role.

For instance in our home, my husband's wage also has to cover the lack of any kind of government support for nursery fees etc as well as covering the part of my wage that I could increase to if i went for a promotion, which I can't do because of the working hours and international travel.

G5000 · 28/10/2026 21:28

I used to work in private aviation, so you can just imagine. Your MDs would not even be in the same league by far than people dropping many, many millions just on their aircraft refurb. Yeah of course you sometimes think of all the money spent left right and center and think that WTF.
But while strugging financially is indeed miserable, once you have what you need for a comfortable life, more money doesn't actually make you happier.

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