Would you go to this playdate?

[DontLikethise]

DS started school and made a friend let’s call him R. I contacted R’s mum for playdate and she was very up for it but asked if we could invite T and his mum too. I said of course. R’s mum made a group chat with her, me and T’s mum. T’s mum is okay and every conversation I’ve had with her has been pleasant and she seemed lovely. Problem is I get a feeling T’s mum doesn’t want me there! Any question I ask she ignores but anything R posts she responds within a minute or 2. She ignores everything I ask so I’m wondering if I should go.

R has also noticed this! I don’t want to discuss with her as I’m trying to downplay it as I barely know these 2 women. Our sons are friends. I don’t want to discuss this with them but I’m thinking after this play date I will distance myself from this this group and not reach out again. There’s lots of other mums in the class I could make an effort with instead. R’s mum seems like she wants to be close with T’s mum so any future invite will be her trying to invite T’s mum too. I’m too old for playground politics and can’t be bothered. So I should go to the playdate tomorrow and assess from there yes?

…hmm, maybe this attitude is why she hadn’t replied to your messages?!

In this post you have attacked people who have replied to you, attacked Mnetters in general, and generally displayed an air of feeling superior to a whole host of other people. It does not reflect well on you. It perhaps explains the experiences you have had with these two women in arranging a playdate.

Can you clarify where the play date is OP, it sounds like you maybe have asked R to invite you and DS to her house?

If so, it makes sense if you've questions about the play date that R would answer them as it's her house, it would be rude for T to answer for R.

i also agreed with @TheFormerMrsTruelove

I do think it sounds like R is very keen to always have T in any meeting, whereas T comes across as not wanting to include you. But it could be very different in real life?

Dont burn any bridges.. you never know if your children may take a shine to one of theirs. So I wouldn't tell R outright that you don't want to meet up with T...I'd just quietly withdraw.

Because all the time you are spending building friendships with them.. is time that you could be spending getting to know people and children who are more receptive to you... organising and attending meet ups with children's friends so they can play, should be a pleasure for you too after all. I'd step gently back from something that made you feel a bit ...er?

Id go.

Ts mum isnt overly friendly but she isnt being hostile. Maybe she wants to be Rs mums friend but not yours.

But if you arent into school politics and your son likes these boys just ignore it and continue to converse when it benefits your DS

Yes I see what you mean, maybe on text she likes to see how R responds first, maybe because she was an add on to the group she doesnt want to overstep. I can be a little like that til I gain confidence within a new group.
You say shes fine face to face?

Same back. The op has a load of posters being unkind about what she has said. Maybe the op is an over thinker? You’ve not shown any empathy either. Or maybe the op just can’t be doing with the nonsense and is just a straight talker?

Either way, just because people don’t tell
everybody they’re anxious doesn’t mean they don’t have their moments.

This

I’ve been raised to be polite in social situations so if someone doesn’t reply to a question you ask but responds to the same question another asks that shows lack of social skills and rudeness.

It's a pity the person who raised you didn't teach you not to be so fckng judgemental!

News alert ... IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU ... it's an opportunity for your child to play with his friends. Why on earth would you get in a sulk because someone doesn't conform to YOUR idea of what constitutes good manners?

PS: I want to know how the playdate went???

What sort of questions is she ignoring? Find it hard to picture how much there is to say past ‘2pm ok? Great. Here’s my address. I’ll get some snacks in, any allergies?’

But regardless, I wouldn’t stress it past a preference for either 2/4 kids. 3 tends to go badly.

Have the playdate. Then tell R's mum that your DS has asked for another playdate just with R. Host at yours. Done.

Oh, grow up, OP. A couple of texts to arrange a child’s play date isn’t a ‘social situation’. You’ve got some juvenile oneupmanship thing going on. Maybe the other mother thinks you’re awful. We don’t know. But it doesn’t matter. It’s a child’s play date. I had patents I wasn’t keen on round them my child was at the accompanied play dates stage. It won’t kill you to be around someone who doesn’t like you.

‘R has also noticed this’

I thought R was the child?

Do you mean the mum of the child you invited has noticed that the new addition mum is ignoring you on text? How did she bring that one up?

Playdates are not meat to be this complicated

I would go to the play date and if T mum is fine great if she standoffish don’t meet again and arrange meet ups with other parents.
I would be irritated that a group chat was required to arrange a play date!

This. Life seems so much more needlessly complicated nowadays.

OP did you go to the play date?