AIBU to be furious at DS15 over his behaviour and holiday footwear choices?

[TheZanyPanda]

We’ve just landed in Florida for a week-long family holiday. There’s me, DH, DS13 and DS15. We spent a fortune before we came out getting everyone kitted out with new clothes and brand-new trainers—including a lovely pair of Nike Dunks for DS15.

We picked out his travel outfit together: hoodie, baggy joggers, and his box-fresh Dunks with classic white Nike socks. Looked great.

Fast forward to checking into the hotel last night. DS15 is sitting on the armchair, his joggers ride up, and I notice... no socks. (He spent all summer going sockless in old knackered Vans and Astro turf boots which I didn't mind because they were already ruined, but still!). Anyway, I went into their room later and it absolutely reeked. Turns out he wore his brand-new Dunks with no socks for the entire journey here! 🤢

This morning, before heading to the theme parks, we wanted a family photo. DH and DS13 look great in fresh shorts and new trainers with ankle socks. DS15? Sockless again.

I gently pointed out that:

1. He’s going to get horrific blisters in the Florida heat.
2. He’s going to completely ruin his new Dunks in days.
3. The trainer smell is already vile.

He kicked off in front of everyone, telling me to "grow up," "get a life," and "what’s it got to do with me?!"

Later, I popped back to the room for suncream and thought I'd take him a pair of trainer socks just in case. Had a quick nosey in his suitcase... there are literally zero socks in his entire bag. He has actively planned and packed to go sockless for the whole week.

DH says to leave him to it, but we are the ones sharing a room and hire car with his melting, stinking feet! AIBU to be furious with his behaviour and choices!

Yeh @TheZanyPanda seriously? if he wants to go sockless that's on him, surely. He's 15 not 3. And I am with a PP who is a bit surprised that his new trainers are smelling so bad so soon.

I don't wear socks in the summer with various shoes and none of them smell.

I am also entertained at the idea of picking out a travel outfit for a 15yo – and why are you so bothered about everyone looking your standard of smart for a photo? Maybe buy him some socks in case he changes his mind.

Is is just me (reads thread; no it is not) who would be very unkeen to wear a brand-new pair of trainers on holiday btw? Even with trainers I like to wear them in a bit first.

Off to google "box fresh dunks"

Seriously if this is performative for the insta pics it's all very silly-not a hill I'd pick to die on at all.
You are waaaaay too involved in a 15yo's packing and clothing choices.

I do think it’s telling that you mentioned how nice your DH and DS13 look in their socks and trainers combo - are you really this annoyed with your DS15 because he won’t match in the photos?

But this really only rises to the level of “mild annoyance”, Florida isn’t short of places to buy socks.

Buy some, and a pack of plasters, stick them in your bag with sun cream, hats and water bottles and carry on with your day. He’s 15 not 5, he gets to make his own choices about how he dresses.

Bear in mind OP that you are running out of family holidays with your DS. Inly a few more then he may well choose to holiday with his friends.

PS Boot bananas are excellent for smelly boy shoes, available on Amazon.

Is he a decent human being? Does he do what he's supposed to at school? Is he healthy? Is he avoiding bad/risky behaviours?

If the answer to these is no, stop wasting energy on socks and deal with more serious matters.
If the answer to these is yes, stop wasting energy on socks and enjoy not having to worry about more serious matters.

Stealth boast anyone?

Nah, leave him to it. If he stinks it will take him longer to get a girl (or boy) friend Just remind him of that. Leave his trainers outside the villa or hotel room balcony every night.

At some point he will accept his feet stink. In the interim, throw his trainers in the washing machine occasionally.

You do sound a bit controlling picking out a 15 year old's travel outfit to be fair.

Planned his travel outfit together 😂 Stop being so controlling and let the poor lad wear what he wants rather than worrying about the family aesthetic for social media

Just placemarking for when he decides to become a Goth instead of a dolly for his Mummy.

It sounds like he has entered a grunge phase.

So minimal washing, stained and threadbare clothes.

Probably as a rebellion against having to look picture perfect all the time.

The good news is one of two things will happen. Either a) he goes off to uni and you no longer have to put up with it or b) he realises that being dirty and unkempt limits his dating chances and helps him get his act together.

Well, given his outfit sounds anything but "great" (more like trashy) YABU to object to him going sockless.

Let him learn about blisters and the ribbing of the whole family about his smelly feet.

Get yourself to wallmart immediately

The way he was described definitely was not grunge!

So is he sharing a room with you or not? - cos you've got him in a separate room and sharing yours in your post.

I think this might be about how much his feet will sweat in Florida heat and the fact there will be a lot of walking. We always took 3 pairs of trainers each to Florida because of the rain and getting them soaked on occasion. We did always wear socks to stop the blisters and we had previously worn the trainers so they were not brand new or box fresh.

There are plenty of shops for socks and foot spray and no doubt Target/Walmart will even deliver them to the hotel if you order online.

He's 15. This level of control isn't appropriate. What he wears on holiday is his own decision. If it doesn't work out for him, then it doesn't work out. I'm assuming he's generally a decent lad as otherwise you'd have better things to worry about.

God you have to be joking, surely? I could only dream of going to Florida with my kids for a week. They could run round in bin bags for all I care as long as we're enjoying the holiday.

Seems you are someone who likes to find things to stress and complain about. Maybe just stop doing that? You're going to ruin your own holiday and that of your DS15 (and probably the others) by crying about a pair of socks. I mean literally going up to his room and looking through his things so you could force him to wear them... Jesus, mate.

It's important to let him have his own style and figure out this will result in blisters etc all by himself. If you knew he never wears socks maybe you shouldn't have bought him really expensive trainers. It was very wrong of him to shout at you but I'm not in the least bit surprised. How else do you expect a 15 year old, or anyone for that matter react to being pestered to no end over this? Maybe reflect on yourself before assuming this is all his fault. The stricter you are the harder they rebel.

I was a sock refuser with my trainers as a child and teenager - and I still am, a lot of the time, all year round, with no regrets. The adults used to tell me "your shoes will walk away without you". But I'm lucky in that I rarely get blisters or bad smells.

Well socks would be a good idea

poking around his case - bad
picking out travel outfits - beyond my comprehension

I thought you were going to say he wrestled an alligator and stole a gun from an ICE agent, and said he liked Trump.
Not wearing socks, hardly criminal.
Why are you going to America anyway now, so many civilised countries to visit. And new shoes for everyone when you're going to be walking around in the heat?
Enjoy the holiday, hope it gets better.

The details will differ but basically what is happening is that the OP is finding out how ANNOYING TEENAGERS ARE ON HOLIDAY and I think she deserves some sympathy from a group of people who have experienced that. Unless you haven't in which case you don't get to judge because it is really debilitating, the rage. In my case it was a jumper in the coliseum with NOTHING UNDERNEATH IN JUNE. Yes of course you are hot dear 😬

Let him know that his fashion choice is none of your business and he can wear a purple hat with feathers but travelling having to endure stincky feet is your business and you're not willing to put up with that shyte from him or anyone, buy him a feet deodorant spray and tell him to spray his feet before going in the car or you're putting him in the next plane to Kent.

If he meets a girl those feet aren't going to win her over

Yabu. His feet his problem

“We picked out his travel outfit together: hoodie, baggy joggers, and his box-fresh Dunks with classic white Nike socks. Looked great.”

I wasn’t this controlling about what my preschoolers wore to a wedding much less a flight. So long as he’s not going to get arrested for indecency and he doesn’t stink, who on earth cares what a 15 year old looks like or is wearing in an international airport or on a plane? Do you imagine everyone is looking admiringly at you as you all pose in matchy matchy outfits? Everyone is stressed, knackered and really uninterested in your kid’s “classic white Nike socks”.

Chill. If he smells then deal with that with him in private and be very grateful that this is apparently the worst behaviour you’re getting from a 15 year old.

I’d have socks and plasters available for if he has to back down and not replace the trainers if they get ruined.