To not change jobs even though it would be 1.5k more per month?

[MyTimeIsWorthMore]

Currently WFH full time and love it. Due to some health issues it’s the perfect balance for me.
We just manage financially.
DH has been commenting on how the same role but not WFH and an extra hour per day is approx 1.5k more. Where these jobs are though is quite a long drive .

To me it’s not worth it as would unbalance things for me health wise, with the house and also with ds as currently I can do all school runs etc. I’ve said to dh my time and health are more important to me than building up savings. AIBU?

How/who would manage school run? Would this involve extra expense eg after school club and so on. If so what’s the cost of that.
what would your communing costs be?

All of this and after extra expense and you feeling exhausted it doesn’t sound like it would be worth it at all.

Point out to your DH that by the time you have paid for after school clubs and/or wraparound care, and petrol/commuting costs and maybe someone to clean as you would have fewer hours every day due to travel, which would be tiring, and the stress of not being on hand for DC if sick or having problems, the real value of that extra 1.5k is a lot less than it seems on paper.

Yes it would slightly eat into the extra money as we would need breakfast and after school club £18 per day) plus extra petrol costs . I mean it wouldn’t be much of it but I know id quickly get exhausted/unwell. It’s irritated me a bit that he has been looking up alternative jobs for me when I’m happy with the one I have.

He’s not describing an “actual-offered-to-you” job? 😆
Suggest he picks up the school run and price up the cost of the commute and then revisit.

And not to mention the 1500 needs taking so is what…50% of that?

How has he suggested changing his schedule of responsibilities to facilitate you earning this extra money? Surely he's not expecting you to commute and continue doing all pickups etc.

And is that £1.5k extra before or after tax and NI? Once factor that in plus travel costs, what you end up spending been out of the house (e.g. lunches/coffees, etc) child care and the impact on your health, seems likely not worth it. Long term impact on your health also likely to impact earnings capacity going forward too.

Not worth it. Jobs where you can look after your own poor health and do the school run are like unicorns. Don't let this unicorn escape.

He would just carry on as normal ! Thats what has annoyed me! He suddenly has this bee in his bonnet about building up savings

But is that 1.5k extra take home or jusr extra? Def not worth it if that amount is before deductions. You need to tot up the extra costs for travel, childcare, probably cleaner / convenience food and show him. Also you haven’t been offered the job!

I’d personally be tempted to apply if it was an extra £1.5k take home.

1.5k a month more is huge. However, it also depends on what your starting salary is. If you are going from min wage to a massive jump up that's a whole differrnt than if youre already a high earner.

It's not wrong that he looked at options and want to discuss them.
However, the discussion can easily show it is not worth it in your circumastances and he needs to accept that.

Take home after taxes
Childcare, impact on the child, emergency childcare - will he pick up if sick?
Commute costs
Your health
Less time at home - what would change at home to accomodate the 3 hours a day where you'd be away?
Getting a new probation period and losing tenure-based protection (which might be even more relevant with yout health issues).

But if a flakey answer.

lets say childcare £400 a month
commuting £400-£500 a month

is the 1.5k net or gross? If net then yes its worth you changing job!

Has he considered:

the extra tax
employer pension contributions may be less
fuel and parkjng
lunches
work wardrobe (and hair?!)
childcare costs in the week and perhaps more in holidays

Plus the extra effort he’ll have to make?

I think you should send him some better paying jobs if he’s that keen!

Is that £1.5k before tax?
Then school clubs is approx £400
Then a months petrol is ?

Doesn’t sound like they’ll be much left anyway.

He can crack on then and build them savings. Start looking for jobs for him to earn extra money, see how he likes that.
I could understand it if he promised to move heaven and earth to facilitate this change (doing pick ups and drop offs, paying 50% of the afterschool clubs cost, driving you to work, making you packed lunches) but he hasn't, has he?

I bet he would, but he doesnt get to do so at the expense of your health.
It's fine for him to want additional income, but he can't decide you'll work more and he'll carry on as normal. If the money is needed, he has to be willing to support you at home. Tell him you won't agree to him running you into the ground, so he'll also need to pull his finger out...

Tell him to get to fuck. Cheeky fucker looking for a new job FOR YOU and expecting his life to not change aside from more money in the bank. Tell him youll consider the other job if he does ALL the house admin, school pick ups, drop offs, gp and dentist visits. Then tell him you thought not.

Yeah its far more than "just a bit".
If youre in higher tax band its down to about £850 extra a month anyway.
20 days at £18 for wraparound care = £360.
So only £490 more.
Then at least an extra tank of fuel every week if its a long commute, which, at current prices, depending on your car is, what £70-100 each time?
Down to only £90 more a month.

But of course you're working an extra hour every day, so you have to divide your current salary by current hours vs new salary by hours plus twenty.

Not to mention maybe having to hire a cleaner or whatever if you're not around to do as much housework.

And thats without all the non-financial aspects such as time with your son, physical health, etc.

I'd cost it up to the penny and then tell him to mind his own business, or look up better jobs for him.

Depends on the health issues. Also how much
you're contributing towards your pension.

My feeling is that he just sees the higher salary and thinks that's more money every month. Who will bring the kids to and from school? The after-school is £18 a day is £92 a week. What happens then during the school holiday times?
Then you have to go into an office so you have travel costs and have to buy and replace work clothes.

I personally would not give up a WFH job in your situation. If you're with your current employer a while you could have more paid holidays. Some employers can offer sick pay for a certain period or could be flexible re changing from full time to part time. You need to consider your own health here also because you want to stay as well as possible.

One of my friends was working with a lady who ended up sick and was out of work for a while. She was with her employer for a few years and got full pay when she was out sick. She was diagnosed with a long term health condition. She went back to work and after a few months a part time role came up in different department. She applied for and got this role. It's keeping her ni stamp and money going into her pension.

If you're husband wants more money why isn't he looking at changing jobs or going for a promotion in his job?
He has some flexibility because your able to bring and collect his kids from school.

What about DH, if he is keen to build up savings why doesn't he go for a more challenging role at £1.5K a month more?

He is not wrong to want to sit down and plan the future with you as a couple/family. Financial issues are important and every personal finance guru advocates having a "rainy day fund" of 6 months living expenses as a bare minimum (not that most people ever get there). - also pensions and retirement planning, etc. What is wrong here is the way he is going about it, utterly disrespectful to act like he is in charge of your life.. while also coming off as financially illiterate..! i.e. not taking tax, ni, student loan, fuel/train costs, food costs, increased car maintenance costs, childcare logistics and costs, risk vs reward of your ability to continue earning long term... all of that into account.

I am sorry you are having to fight your corner, he of all people should know full well the reality of the constraints on you and him and he should be thinking creatively within those constraints to develop a plan that will work for both of you as a team.