How likely is autism etc ? Is there any way to tell?

[Butaboutt]

I am 40 and DP is 45. We’ve been together 3 years and very in love. We’d both like a child but both of his siblings have got children with autism. One has also got one without autism too. Neither of his siblings have autism diagnosis and neither does DP.

I would say DP is somewhere on the spectrum but not in a way that impacts his life in any real way at all. I have neurodivergent traits but again no diagnosis.

I know that when you have a baby you have to accept all risks as they are inherent but I wonder if I’m at an increased risk of this in this context? I don’t know much about it and haven’t shared these fears with DP but will do when I feel I know more about this

You don't know which sort of autistic you are going to get either. Some children are easier to raise than others in the way their autism manifests. Their autism might cause you a sensory meltdown.

Definitely only have one child. Much easier than two.

what you obviously don’t know is how any type of neurodivergence will manifest and you absolutely shouldn’t let it put you off if you and your DP both want a child.

I think the OP is being sensible to take it into consideration. They will be older parents and if the child is high needs they will always have the worry about what will happen when they die.