Save the date for a milestone birthday party.

[SillyG]

Just been sent a WhatsApp message to save 2 dates in December as possible dates for an 18th birthday party.

Is this usual? Seems very late to be organising a milestone birthday and especially in December.

Ridiculous to ask to save both dates do close to Christmas
Most people will already have plans.
Is not like their birthday has come as a surprise!

Surely you just say we have plans on Boxing Day, sorry, not sure on the 27th but if we’re free we’ll come. They can’t expect people to drop everything at Christmas when they may have already made plans.

Yeah I get that but I would still let them know which one you can't 'save' as already have plans

“Thank you for the save the date, unfortunately we have plans over Christmas but I hope DS has a lovely 18th birthday”

This

Exactly.

'Thanks so much . Sadly we can't make boxing day but we're free in the evening on the 27th' would help them plan. You could just go for a couple of hours.

Weird dates to ask people to save. Christmas time is ultra busy and family oriented for many people. Boxing Day and the 27th would be set aside already for family and recovery from said family I would have thought.

It’s fine to say you can’t do one or both of the dates. There will be lots of people who can’t do those days.

Seems very late to be organising a milestone birthday and especially in December.

Oh, so people with December birthdays aren't supposed to celebrate them in December?

And 4-6 weeks' notice is pretty OK, I'd say, for an 18th birthday party.

Not sure where you got that from?

The young man's birthday is the 26th, over the years we've always celebrated it, joined in or even hosted his party

They weren't going to do a party as they are buying him a car.

The issue is they are asking to save 2 dates

Why would an 18yo want his mums mate turn up at the pub..?

If you can't go, just let her know you have plans for both dates and might not/won't make it.

Isn’t this very outing @SillyG ?

Not worried about being identified are you?!

Wouldn’t have been seen dead in a pub? Where else would you have an 18th knees-up?!
Is it common now that teenagers have a family bash, surrounded by their parents’ friends? (A cultural thing maybe)
It was exclusively a ‘friends of the birthday girl/boy’ thing when it was my turn (a grown up dinner in a nearby village pub we often drank at, illegally up til then!)
A well-off pal had the run of her house and its pool, parents away, for a weekend party; ye gods that was amazing.

Whatever the modern way may be, I must say that I was expecting this to be about a 50th or 60th birthday, perhaps.
An 18th is not a milestone birthday really, is it? (Nowadays, it seems the average (MN-parented) 18-year old will continue to be a teenager for another ten years.)

Anyway. Not contributing anything useful, merely expressing my surprise about how things change, I suppose.

I’d reply that I can’t do the 26th as it’s Boxing Day, but will be free on the 27th.

Expecting people to attend on Boxing Day is unrealistic.

‘Possible’ dates? That’s weird. They should choose a date and stick with it. Are you that age? If not why are you even invited? If it’s Boxing Day it would be a no from me.

I think my son would have died of embarrassment if I'd invited my friends to his party.

I’d assume she’ll confirm this week so it’s not that you have to hold the date for weeks. In my world 18th birthday parties have been fairly last minute and chilled so I can’t really get stressed about this. It’s October so that’s 2 months notice and if you’re doing anything major for Christmas wouldn’t that already be planned? 🤷🏻‍♀️

We had a family celebration and dd celebrated with friends separately - different event!

Probably because they’re trying to work out which date will be better for all the people they’d like to invite.

Goodness, why not just speak to your friend??

From OP’s update, they’re not. They’re saying please keep both free because we’re waiting to hear back from the venue.

Obviously OP doesn’t have to go to either day, it’s an invite not a summons etc etc. But I do think there’s a slight lack of self awareness involved in even asking people to hold off making plans for 26th & 27th Dec until you let them know what day you’ll be having a party.

Fine to send out save the date for December. Weird to send out two. Weird that one of them is Boxing Day.

Not something I would do but happy to receive one so would either accept or decline like an invitation normally

I don't see an issue