AIBU to ask for advice on how to deal with house situation and what to say to soon to be ex DH?
we have 1 child together (4yo) and he has 2 from previous marriage. They are 14 and 17.
We currently own a house together with deposit that was provided by my grandparents. I also have e a debt tied the house which he agreed to - it was related to nursery fees and expenses for his older children.
so I want to sell, clear debt, pay back my grandparents and find somewhere for me and little one. (I will still make effort to see my step kids, they are great).
DH wants to keep the house but can’t afford to buy me out. He says he me be able to stretch to enough for me to pay down back to my debtors. But i would still be in debt. He says he can give the money back in a few years or whenever. But he also has debt that I just found out about a few days ago. (I thought he has paid most of it with some inheritance from my other grandparents that I gave him but it seems to have made no difference).
he has already said LO will mainly live with me so at least we agree on that, he says can probably have him other weekend or so.
the other kids main home is with their mum.
so if I am right in thinking selling the house is best how do I approach without making him angry? And he says it won’t be fair to the kids not to all have a bedroom with him so how I can I make things fair?
I’m so overwhelmed I want to do what’s best for LO but don’t want to let down the other kids - although the older they get the less they come and all their main stuff is at their mums - so I am torn but I’m trying to imagine being them and all of a sudden not having separate bedrooms at dads 😢 …
I feel LO will be happy to share with dad or whoever so I don’t think it will impact them the same but the older ones are boy and girl and if we sell DH will only afford a 2 bedroom.
whatever advice is appreciated please
thank you x