Is it rude to talk over someone?

[Fortheloveofpenguins]

I don’t mean if it’s an emergency, or if you want to clarify something before someone gives more information (eg you’re talking about Jim and they want to check which Jim it relates to). I also don’t mean if it’s an accident and you don’t realise they haven’t finished speaking, and I don’t mean a situation where you’re very short on time. Also assume the person doesn’t have additional needs. This just relates to having a normal conversation in a relaxed situation.

YANBU: given the above caveats, it is rude to start talking over someone who was clearly part way through a sentence
YABU: it is always fine to talk over someone if you want to say something

They almost, if not always, use it as a platform to make it about themselves as well.

I don't mind it too much if its like:
Me: "omg, look over there, it's..."
Both: "a dog walking on it's head!"

But it's almost always:
Me: "omg, look over there, it's..."
Them: "a dog walking on it's head! My dog used to...."

Cool. He won't mind you doing it right back to him, then, loudly talk over him when he does it to you. There won't be an issue.

It’s not okay to talk over someone. It’s rude.

taking into account someone who appears to have finished speaking, takes a pause, then continues and rolls their eyes when you start speaking thinking they’ve finished. That’s not rude.

if someone continuously speaks over you, that’s rude

Yes - interrupting is a common feature of ADHD due to lack of impulse control. With autism it can be diffculty with judging turn taking.

But what you say is also true, probably especially among those who are diagnosed and are aware of this potential pitfall. I have autism and ADHD.

Yep

I have a friend who I like but she can’t half talk. I met her a few weeks ago and she started talking with me just saying ‘oh yes’ or ‘really’.
After 35 minutes she hadn’t stopped talking so I interrupted and she said ‘I was talking’ in a sharp tone.
As a result I don’t see her that often as it feels like I am just an audience for her show.

Of course it's rude and one of the basic tenets of good manners. But most people don't know how to have a conversation anyway these days. They're usually glued to their phones or instantly reach for it every time it pings.

It can be but I am AUDHD and people who finish my sentence for me or talk over me really piss me off.

They are rarely right at predicting what I’m going to say anyway.

If they do it more than twice I now tell them.

I have had to learn to control that side of my AUDHD, I worked for someone and did it once and got such an almighty bollocking that it actually helped a lot

My ex was really good at finishing my sentences for me (and getting it wrong), interrupting and talking over me. It was one of the major reasons I called the relationship off.

It's pretty classically rude. Even if the person is droning or monopolising the conversation, you can start your interruption with "excuse me".

I’d just constantly interrupt him when he’s talking, he’ll soon realise how rude and annoying it is

I do hate it when people post AIBU about something which they clearly know they aren’t being.

in general, yes, I take turns

but if they are being a dick in the lead-up, as in trying to deflect, project, gaslight, or monopolise via a hefty uneven ratio (aka conversational narcissism), then you can bet they are getting talked over until they shut up, realise what time it is and re-assess their assumptions 😆

This👏

Yes of course it's rude to talk over someone or interrupt when they are in the middle of speaking.

I also think it's also rude to launch into a massive monologue during what should be a two-way conversation and not let the other person get a word in for several minutes though. But people don't generally get called out for that.

I usually only get the narcissistic monologues on the phone, which is when interrupting and talking over them to re-establish the dominance equilibrium is appropriate.. incidentally, the narcissistic over-talkers/takers get their jimmies in a ruffle when they get checked

i opened your thread wondering who you were talking about and assumed it was someone like a work colleague who you hadn’t chosen to be in your life. But it’s your dh. Who will have always been like this. And you married him anyway.

This is why I struggle in group social situations. I wait and listen, but then others chip in and the convo quickly changes. But I just can't bring myself to talk over someone as it's rude 😅

Both my in-laws talk over me, or try and second guess how I’m going to finish a sentence all the time and it infuriates me. It is really very rude. If I ever catch myself doing it to someone I always apologise because I fucking hate it happening to me.

My husband and work colleague do this, drives me mental! I've just started being rude back. To my husband I just interrupt back and say "I was talking!", to my colleague, I let him finish and then say"Sooooo, as I was saying...."

My partner does the same. Also drives me nuts. It's so fucking rude! I've also started telling him to fucking knock it off when he does it to other people, too.

He's got ADHD as an 'excuse', but as an adult man in his mid 50s it doesn't wash with me. Like yours, he's wrong 99.9% of the time in guessing what I'm going to say.

Better than being seen as one of those rude people though 😬

i just wanted to let the 3 people on this thread whose partner does this and they hate it know that it isn’t a legal requirement to be in a relationship.

Teams is harder than real life I think, even though you can see people something gets lost on the screen somehow.

my husband just stops talking if my mum interrupts him after asking him a question but then it doesn’t matter it’s not necessary for him to finish. I say if, it’s when !