To think that people with money really have no idea what life is like for the average person

[Increasinglydisillusionedwithlife]

Especially in the current climate. Those that are wealthy don't tend to be aware or understand?

I am degree education in a good job, which unfortunately doesn't really pay well, but it's a worthwhile occupation. Dh has worked his way up in a manual trade to a managerial role, we both work hard, but are still feeling the pinch and money is carefully accounted for the majority of the time. I am self employed and a few of my clients are very wealthy compared to the average, I don't know if they recognise this, but they are. One client sometimes doesn't pay properly and i'm left short, it's happened this week and now I stress as I have my child's clubs, kids events at the weekend etc to pay for. I'd allocated the money for these things. I feel too embarrassed to ask for the money (even though I shouldn't!) as I don't think it would even cross their mind that families live in this way and that waiting a week can sometimes mean I can't afford what I had planned, not always but sometimes

Is it just me? I feel that no matter how wealthy I became I hope that I would still recognise that we're not all the same and that we rely on our wages!

It's unreasonable that you can't ask for money you are owed. It's a business? Get paid.

I work hard and have suffered for it in the usual ways (breakdowns of relationships, physical and mental health etc.) but I agree that much of success is luck. Successful people who can't see that often fall victim to hubris and see their fortunes reversed.

But the corollary of that is that luck tends to favour those who takes risks and put themselves in the way of opportunity. It seems to me that often people in MM are complaining about their poorly paid jobs, and what I hear is that they prefer safety to opportunity. You can't easily get rich working for others unless you have rare skills.

It is clearly getting harder to be middle class; maybe someday there will be no middle class, just those with wealth, perhaps a lot of it generational, and those without. If you don't want that to come to pass then stop being cattle voting for the abattoir. The endless redistribution of the stagnant wealth of the nation cannot be an answer to anything. We need to prioritise growing wealth as a nation. Anytime you hear that taxation is the answer to a problem, you are about to see things get significantly worse for the middle class.

As for whether we understand, I'm sure it is different depending on background, but I came from dirt poor and know full well what it is like. Hence doing everything I can to create wealth for myself and my family. My kid already has pension, ISA etc and I'm sure someone will eventually say that they are privileged. But also they work hard and attack school, sports etc. because they want to succeed and have no idea that they already have savings. They may not ever have my understanding of what it is to be poor though, and I'm fine with that.

Why would they feel uncomfortable around you?

There it is in your first post OP:

… one client sometimes doesn't pay properly and i'm left short, it's happened this week …

This CF client has been taught, by you, that they can get away with paying less.

Get on the phone to them first thing tomorrow, or even tonight, and get that deficit settled. Have your bank information to hand.

In a later post you say: What if I ask for that and it’s still not paid (re payment up front)?

Get your T&C updated OP, you want a deposit on booking. Lots of small businesses ask for this and the balance on arrival. You need to toughen up, they would never try this on with a big corporation.

This isn’t a hobby, and it’s your kids who are missing out.

What if they don't pay like that on time or the right amount though?

I agree with this and I think YABU OP, in your example anyway. You are essentially assuming that all wealthy people are tone-deaf and don’t care about those who are less financially fortunate than them. I married someone who is relatively wealthy, and I’m very aware of how financially fortunate we are. I know that not everyone is in the same position, and I never take that for granted. I also work in healthcare (lower end of the pay scale I might add) and I see people who are struggling financially every single day, which gives me perspective. Yes, some wealthy people can be ignorant but that doesn’t apply to everyone. Equally, being less well-off doesn’t automatically make someone more understanding. You get good and bad people at every level of society, and I think it’s unfair to generalise an entire group based on their financial circumstances.

I'm very aware of having no money and struggling (this is what the post is about) and always pay correctly and on time

Op I'd agree some people haven't a clue.

On another thread, Mums upset because 10yo was rude about his not quite hitting the mark birthday presents.
Mum had saved for weeks so she had a budget of £110.
Someone suggested she gets him to give away to a giving tree 10% of his Christmas budget missing that Mum still has to go without whatever to actually save that money in the first place. Why would she give away when she's struggling herself. It makes no sense.

You have totally missed my point which essentially confirms my point! You are criticising people richer than you for being unaware that people like you are struggling. Whilst not acknowledging your own privilege of intelligence and two salaries coming in. There are many, many people in a worse position than you.

People who have money now may not always have had money. When my DC were young I was constantly broke. I have money now but I've never forgotten feeling broken because I had to ask my Dad for a money loan when my car engine blew up and I had no money to replace the car. I needed it for getting to work and dropping DC to childminder before school started. I was so thankful he lent me the money for a new car and told me to repay it when I could.

OP, this was a fair question.
Your ‘average’ may not be ‘average’ to someone else and we all work hard by our own standards. My husband is self-employed gets up at 4-40am to work until 5pm in one job, then we have farm. I teach full time 5 days a week (always did, returned to work after babies after maternity leave] and do odd bit of lecturing/supervising for third level collages. We word hard. Our children are in private school. We intend to retire at 55/56. How ‘hard’ you work is subjective and how ‘average’ your wages is subjective…

Maybe the client not paying can’t afford to pay? Everyone thinks everyone else has money but maybe they’re in the same place as you albeit with more material things!!

Yes I know this and I would treat them properly and with respect, i'm not unaware of this

Give them one chance, warn them next time you’d have to cancel as you can give the time to a client who pays promptly. Then if they do it again, Cancel the service. (Assuming it’s a time based service).

You usually only have to do it once with people like this.

If they are normally a good payer and it’s a genuine oversight then that would be overkill.

Please just send her a text - “so sorry, just a reminder I did 3 hours on Saturday” (or whatever you did. She is likely just busy and forgot.
If it’s a frequent problem perhaps a gentle “so sorry to ask, but would it be possible to receive the money by X each week? It’s important for me as I budget” or similar.

Don't apologise for asking for overdue payment!

Or…the clients could get a clue.

You admit that you're not good at reminding people to pay you, but instead of just pulling yourself together and asking for the money you are owed you're creating imaginary scenarios in your head about why they are bad people.

I always try and pay anyone I need to promptly but sometimes I forget, not because I think I'm too important, or assume that money grows on trees for everyone, but just I have a full time job, kids in school and all sorts of shit going on. If I need to be reminded then I will pay immediately, apologise and feel a bit crap about myself for a while.

Ultimately, if you're self employed part of making that work for yourself and your life is understanding that, that comes with a need to implement financial controls in your business. It's one of the reasons I will never be self employed because I just wouldn't be capable of that.

But you're not treating people with respect. You have an above average household income and above average intelligence but are whining on a public forum about how terrible your life is. If you were legitimately aware of others, you would know that there will be many people reading this who would kill to be in your position. To anyone with average or below average earnings you are the unaware rich person you describe in your opening post.

What on earth are you on about? I don't have an above average household income at all? I'm talking about how people should be treated regardless of what they have and how I wouldn't treat people like that, that's the issue

I work at a highly rated university in North America as an Office Manager and am in the lowest pay grade within my employee group. For a very long time, our office has struggled to retain staff, and I have had to cover two positions for months at a time, and currently for an entire year. We have a new director who is completely disinterested and incompetent, and as a result, I have had to do much more to support him as well. During one of our meetings, he told me that I am expensive to keep. He is a tenured professor and earns three, perhaps even five, times more than I do. He also made a snarky comment when he heard that the university was giving us a raise, even though it was largely symbolic and faculty members were receiving raises as well.

By the way, comments such as "you should get a better-paying job" are ridiculous and prove the OP's point. A lot of wealthy people are not only clueless but also ignorant and lacking in compassion.

People can forget things whether they are wealthy or not. You could choose to request payment but instead you’re here whinging on MN.

True. You are in business, Op, so you need to employ better ways to ensure you get paid.

Ask bank for a business overdraft facility.

Offer a discount of 5% if client pays cash on day of service.

Remind clients that they will receive reminder texts every three days until paid, as you are not as wealthy as them.

Reward with star in your system if payment is forthcoming on time. Thank your client verbally in person every five times they pay on time. Praise that they are a cherished client. Hold a yearly event/deal offer for your best clients.

I agree . The post should have been about finding the confidence to chase non payers not add in the mix about ‘ rich ‘ people .

And not paying people on time or at all.

Yes but its a poor choice to rack up a lot of student debt (and give up years spent studying instead of working & earning) to go and work in a lower paid sector. Leave lower paid jobs to people with fewer qualifications.