To think that people with money really have no idea what life is like for the average person

[Increasinglydisillusionedwithlife]

Especially in the current climate. Those that are wealthy don't tend to be aware or understand?

I am degree education in a good job, which unfortunately doesn't really pay well, but it's a worthwhile occupation. Dh has worked his way up in a manual trade to a managerial role, we both work hard, but are still feeling the pinch and money is carefully accounted for the majority of the time. I am self employed and a few of my clients are very wealthy compared to the average, I don't know if they recognise this, but they are. One client sometimes doesn't pay properly and i'm left short, it's happened this week and now I stress as I have my child's clubs, kids events at the weekend etc to pay for. I'd allocated the money for these things. I feel too embarrassed to ask for the money (even though I shouldn't!) as I don't think it would even cross their mind that families live in this way and that waiting a week can sometimes mean I can't afford what I had planned, not always but sometimes

Is it just me? I feel that no matter how wealthy I became I hope that I would still recognise that we're not all the same and that we rely on our wages!

Is she not charging up front?
Most music teachers and tutors do.

They should be embarrassed - not you. When my husband was self-employed - if a client hadn't paid by the 20th of the next month or when it was agreed- we're talking about quite long running projects - he phoned them up and asked them why they hadn't paid. He stopped working for them till they did pay. I suppose that might have been the upside of having very high functioning autism - it just didn't bother him at all. One project came unstuck - not his part of it - and he was one of the few contractors who didn't lose money because of his hands on approach to being paid. Other who had been more diffident took a financial hit.

OP you have a point but I think it’s being buried a bit under your attitude.

not every wealthy (however you define it) person is lucky, has generational wealth, and has no idea what it’s like to be poor. Many have worked extremely hard, and many have been poor.

and as an aside, I don’t think anyone saying some wealthy people have worked hard mean that poor people haven’t. I don’t like that snippy response when it’s said.

I’m the chair of the trustees for our village hall which is a registered charity. We have the same issues with late payers. Pisses me off no end as I’m a volunteer and want to use my time to improve the hall not chase people who have not paid. Have taken one client to small claims court (actually resolved at mediation) which I now regularly mention to people with unpaid invoices. This is also extra work for me in terms of forms to be filled in, dates of communication etc.

I agree. The executives at my company decided we needed to come back into the office 4 days a week (from 100% WFH) and the cost of gas has taken a huge chunk out of my pay. They don't care about that as they make so much money or live close to the office. They aren't stupid so they know it has a huge effect on the lower level employees. But they obviously don't care how it effects us but they don't feel any effects of it.

Yes, it’s the twat factor.

My experience as well. I know many hardworking people who are struggling- I find it offensive to make statements like "you would be wealthy if you worked hard". It's just not true.

And that's so easy to do! Take me for example. Went to a crap comp. 6 o levels and 3 CSEs. Failed my a levels because mum died in the middle of the 2 years.

Now I ended up in insurance, with professional qualifications and a fairly senior role, but the pay wasn't brilliant. How would you suggest that I made the jump to a higher paying job given that insurance doesn't pay brilliantly and I didn't have a degree to push to the next level?

People who do not pay their service providers according to those service providers’ terms are just not decent people.

It’s scummy behaviour.

I agree. I have a very good friend who is extremely well off, and I do love her. But, when it comes to the difference in our financial situations,she is rather clueless. I live on disability benefits, and although I'm not struggling financially,all the money I have coming in is accounted for and I don't really have money for luxuries. Such as the £400 Smart ring she was urging me to buy a few months ago. Or paying £90 for a private covid vaccination. That sort of money barely makes a dent in her income,whereas it would leave me seriously short for the rest of the month.

You need to toughen up and contact them NOW to request the shortfall. I am self employed as well, and I have noticed that it is ALWAYS the wealthy customers that pay late or "forget" to pay. I give them a days grace at most, and then I text saying that I'm doing my books and can't see their payment.

I don't know if their slowness to pay is because they aren't concerned so much with money (being well off) or whether they are just CF's!

I don't have to worry about money at all, but I have had periods in my life where the opposite was true, and so I don't think that you can assume that all wealthy people have always been so. That said, I would NEVER forget to pay someone, in fact I pay people the second I am billed. It's one of those rules I stick by, which I think makes me a decent person.

But yeah - get that chaser sent Op.

I agree with you OP. I’m not sure you’d consider us wealthy (I don’t but I live in a very expensive tech city so aware my bubble is extreme): we have around £200k in savings and liquid investments, maybe £600k in pensions, 70% equity in our £1m+ home and take home £13k/month after tax and pensions. I often feel pinched but the reality is, that’s because I HATE touching our savings for anything so to me, that feels like going into my overdraft and because we will be deciding to do a big home upgrade, pay for an expensive overnight camp, go on the third long haul holiday this year and I’m expecting to be able to do it using cash flow monthly and still meet our aggressive savings goals which is obviously all completely optional. I don’t have any idea what it feels like to be at the bottom of my current account.

I used to occasionally pay my nanny a day late entirely accidentally and while I felt terrible, I did not feel the gut wrenching feeling she may have had because she was risking a late rent payment (she was not but easily could have been). I now always make sure to pay our babysitter before we even come back in the house because I am very worried about forgetting in the shuffle of DC wanting goodnight kisses etc.

Because it's that easy! 🙄

Then I disagree with you completely. Me & 5 siblings, all FSM, parents without two coppers to rub together, became head teacher, accountant, senior civil servant, marketing director, HR manager and an engineer. All fairly comfortable, but with decades of graft.

No connections or money. The same with my friends, I only have one friend who had significant parental help and she runs the family farm - which means 12 hr days, 7 days a week, outside in all weathers - serious graft.

Fortunately I don't come into contact with people who are wealthy. It would annoy me OP.

I always pay for services as soon as it's been done. You wouldn't order a coffee and pay a few days later. I just don't understand in today's smart phone world with banking at our fingertips, this can't be done!

I think you must ask for the money in a polite way 😉

I voted YABU because I don’t think “I’m too embarrassed to ask for the money owed” is a good enough reason to allow your children to go without as you are saying is the consequence here.

YANBU to think wealthy people have no idea about “how the other half live” but how are they going to find out if you don’t confront them in times like these? It is their oversight (presumably) in not paying, and it shouldn’t require more than a reminder to get them to pay their outstanding balance. I can’t imagine why you’d rather ruin all of your plans for the week ahead than just do what needs to be done.

I think people that have that attitude are those who've always been comfortable and never had to struggle. When people work full time in a professional job they find it easy to credit themselves with "just working hard, anyone can do it" but ignoring some truly lucky circumstances that helped put them in that position. Things like being born with a good brain in the first place, parents that supported education, helped fund uni and driving lessons, getting on the property ladder at the right time. Those can be huge "leg ups" which people quickly forget.

I've posted about this before but my wealthy MIL was appalled when I bought a second hand car and kept saying "I don't know how you can bear to have a car someone else has driven". It seemed beyond get comprehension that that was the only choice available to me at that time.

"Just get a better paying job". That's hilarious. Wouldn't everyone "just" do that if it was so straightforward.

Never thought of that! such insight, what a helpful and original suggestion. I retrained and got a better paid job during my working life, it took four terms of evening class, a placement and exams all while holding down a full time job as a single parent and sole bread winner for me and my child. I have been so poor that I have skipped meals to feed my child, I've padded out my leaking winter boots with newspaper and not been able to afford tights in the winter. It's horrible, you never forget what being poor feels like, never forget the shame, the stress and the deprivation.

It is true but the tables have been turning in an interesting way since AI/off shoring has been getting rid of the more cushy easy and high paid jobs that wealthier people typically do.
It seems that now, if you're in a job that requires you to be there in person most/all of the time you're in a more secure position than everyone else..

It is true but the tables have been turning in an interesting way since AI/off shoring has been getting rid of the more cushy easy and high paid jobs that wealthier people typically do.
It seems that now, if you're in a job that requires you to be there in person most/all of the time you're in a more secure position than everyone else..

Unfortunately you will get some disrespectful poor people and some perfectly respectful better off people. People vary, yes some wealthy people are entitled and inconsiderate but not all of them.
Self employment involves not just doing whatever service you do but also all the admin involved. This might involve trying to separate out the payments that come in from jobs you have completed from what you pay yourself each week or month. You should be able to look at your average income to the business in the last year then take off costs to see your profit. Take something off that to save for emergencies then divide what is left by 12 or 52 and pay yourself that each week or month. Bad payers are not then an immediate threat to your budget. You have a regular amount coming in and can plan better. You can see if your prices are pitched at the right level, you take home should not be less than NMW for the amount of hours you work.
You should also be prepared to deal with missed payments or underpayments.

We all grew up without much at all. We have all done well enough but two of my brothers have down exceptionally well. One in big pharma in America and the other in the oil and gas industry.

They are simply not interested in people who don’t make it out. I’m not as harsh but you can see some shocking choices made by people you have known long term and wonder why on earth they did it. Some choices are thrust upon people and it’s not a true choice, that’s very different.

On a personal level anyone who has their own business needs to not be embarrassed to ask for outstanding payments.

But aren't you just as unaware? You're talking about penny pinching and pleading poverty yet there will be many, many people in this country who would live to have a degree and two salaries coming in. You have a regular income and the intelligence/qualifications to earn well. You are very privileged. Perhaps you should consider that before criticising others.

I think if you're someone who has never had to go shopping, for food or whatever, with price being front and centre in affecting what you buy, you'll never truly understand the hold that has, even when people no longer necessarily have to do it.