Poking holes in condoms!

[condomgate]

Just to make it absolutely clear, this isn’t about DH and I.

My friend is 3 months pregnant, her husband is in shock because they were using condoms every time and not one split.

She’s just admitted to me that she used a pin to poke holes in them. Now call me naive but one, I thought that a tiny pin hole would not be able to get somebody pregnant and also I think this is a crime? I’m disgusted with her and I did tell her that.

Regular poster, name changed.

DH and I are good friends with her and her DH and I just don’t feel okay about this. I feel like she’s done something so wrong that I want to avoid them for as long as possible.

So if a man takes a condom off during sex thst is wrong but a woman can poke holes in condom and it is the man's fault?

It's illegal here in Australia 🇦🇺

Just for interest, I once tried poking holes in condoms just to see if you could actually not tell it had been done. I had read some article about it, did it in front of DH, then threw it out. No deception involved. The pin pushed the condom out the hole it made in the wrapper. You'd honestly have had to have been blind to not be able to see the wrapper wasn't intact, and even then, you'd have been able to feel it.

If you really can do it, it's amazing anything could get through a hole so incredibly fine (even with sperm being miniscule), but it's a horrible deception. Best he has a vasectomy now.

Did she explain why she did that?

Hopefully her husband will now get a vasectomy

If you really can do it, it's amazing anything could get through a hole so incredibly fine (even with sperm being miniscule)

Not really; sperm are the smallest cells in the body. The head is only a few micrometers across. A pinhead is at least a mm wide.

I guess you could poke the hole one side and not go all the way through to the other while still damaging the condominium. The other person wouldn’t see it. Also not every woman (or man if the woman hands it to them opened) scrutinises the packets while their partner puts one on. Even if they made packets impermeable to needles a man could still tamper with it quickly while they were putting it on with their back to their partner, or woman could before handing it to them to put on.

It’s criminal behaviour and yes rape.

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/part/1/crossheading/rape

The pin hole will stretch when it's put on and the tadpoles will escape

😂😂😂

I think this is awful and she should be ashamed of herself really.

You should be able to trust the person you're with. We tell men to take responsibility for their own contraception, so you can hopefully trust your partner not to mess with the condoms.

I mean, we have one where we just didn't bother with the condom and neither of us bothered to check whether we were in the riskiest time of the month or not. I hold us both responsible for that one.

Would it also beok for a man to do this to a woman and get her pregnant?

Disgusting behaviour. If the guy had be stringing the woman along it still doesn’t make it any less of a shitty thing to do. The woman is selfish and only thinking of herself. What kind of person puts their own needs above that of a child. Nothing wrong with being a one parent family but actively chosing to have a kid with someone who doesn’t want to is messed up.

Someone I worked with Thor pregnant while long term bf thought she was on the pill. She’d actually stopped the pill months before and was on Clomid. I never thought of her the same after that, especially as she told this to us all but never told bf

Absolutely wrong of her to do. Why hasn’t he had the snip if he didn’t want anymore kids?

How big do you think sperms are?

Seemingly.

Equally if she did want kids she should have divorced him and found someone else on the same page.

Just because you are desperate to be a mum doesn’t justify deceiving someone into getting you pregnant.

I'm rather astonished you don't understand that sperm are microscopic...

Just to set out the law as it currently stands...

If a woman agrees to sex provided a condom is used and the man then fails to use a condom or uses a condom he knows to be damaged, that is rape. However, if the condom becomes damaged during sex and he carries on because he is unaware of this, that is not an offence.

If a man agrees to sex provided a condom is used and the woman deliberately damages the condom, that is likely to be sexual assault and possibly also causing a person to engage in sexual activity without consent (which is a separate offence from rape but would carry a similar sentence in this situation).

If a man falsely claims to have had a vasectomy or a woman falsely claims to be on the pill or similar, no offence has been committed as this is about the consequences of intercourse, not the physical nature and purpose of the act (R v Lawrence in the Court of Appeal, 2020). This is often highlighted as a gap in the law on the basis that intentional deception about matters that are a deal breaker for a partner undermines consent, but this needs parliament to decide whether to change the law.

@dottiedodah

they can get sperm donors then

Absolutely spot on.