(NC)
I wanted to know if anyone feels like I do. The life I've ended up in is very much not the life I ever wanted, but I can't see a way to get out, at least while my children are in school.
I worked hard for years when the career I'd built came to a sudden stop. I'm now working for about half what I was earning before, with very few realistic options at the moment to move job, get promoted, or move to a city with more going on.
I'm 51, married for 20 years. I moved to my husband's town for his work and never really settled. I thought that I'd eventually put down roots and build a local social life once I found people I had something in common with, but I've slowly realised that it's not going to happen now.
He doesn't want to move and doesn't understand why it matters so much to me that I should feel settled somewhere, and that there are opportunities to progress. He takes any expression of unhappiness as a personal criticism, says that grownups realise life is shit and you just have to get on with it.
That's fine, but he does seem to find life a bit less shit. I feel deeply estranged from it all, like a fish out of water.
I've had therapy which helped at the time, so I'm not sure that more will help, and I'm not depressed. It's more like prolonged, devastating disappointment. And focusing on home and family life won't work for me.
What has worked for others? My youngest is in P4 (late surprise baby) so they'll be in school for years yet.