I'm often confused by discussions around poverty, addiction, and crime because they seem to focus heavily on society and not much on individual responsibility

[YourWaryPlumBalonz]

For context, I'm autistic, grew up in a low-income household, and my dad was largely absent and neglectful. He rarely showed up, wasn't particularly involved, and wasn't much of a support. Despite that, I never got involved in crime or drugs.
Instead, I used the support that was available. I got help from charities, received government support related to my disability and employment, and eventually found a professional job. It wasn't easy, but there were people and organisations willing to help.
So what I'm struggling to understand is this: if support exists, why are so many problems framed primarily as society's fault rather than the responsibility of the individual?
I'm not saying circumstances don't matter. Clearly they do. But there seem to be plenty of people who experience poverty, disability, family breakdown, neglect, bullying, etc., and don't end up addicted, committing crimes, or repeatedly making self-destructive choices.

Fully agree with your comment re: education.
Everyone (not just current school-aged children) should have to take citizenship classes. Even people's lack of understanding about the UK constitution is shocking, tbh.

OP - there's a such a thing as emotional labour, and while debate is always a good thing, you need to take responsibility for your own education rather than coming into a debate 'blind'.

Interesting that you seem to acknowledge that there is a degree of system-based racism but not classism or a wealth divide?

yes there is classim too, im from a working class background

Academics are not working class.

why not

Academics are white collar and by the very nature of their profession; well educated.

Honestly, if you have a good relationship with your parents, I'd suggest having a conversation about how to conduct research. You need to start with topics on class, wealth and drivers of poverty so you can become better informed. Whilst there's online courses, literally start by getting yourself a library card and check out some sociology textbooks.

You're not from a working class background then. The amount your parents earn doesn't matter as much as their attitude to education.

I'm from a council estate. I was never encouraged to do well at school. My mother often sneered at me because I loved reading and she believed I had ideas above my station. It was more about escapism.

There was a lot of inverted snobbery at that time. 90s, brit pop, working class hero bullshit.

I didn't manage to go to uni at 18. I had to get a job at 16. And then managed to go a few years later but it was difficult. I had to get a shitty, freezing cold bedsit because halls wouldn't work for me. I had no where to go in the holidays and I needed to work. It would be impossible for me to do now. The younger generations are really up against it now. If I were 18 now I would probably just top myself.

You are so privileged. The whole working class, pulled yourself up by your bootstraps cos play is a little off putting. And then to look at people who are living in poverty, surrounded by drugs, violence etc where everyday is a struggle and harp on about how you've done it, when your parents are academics and you've received a large sum of money is ridiculous. You must see that?

your mum sounds like a nasty woman. r u still in touch with her

I never wear a seatbelt, I don’t understand why people die or get injured in car crashes, I have to drive carefully which is sometimes difficult but I’ve never been in a car crash…

No. I've been no contact for quite sometime.

sounds good. wtf is wrong with her

I agree OP. People can grow up within and surrounded by poverty. But not end up in prison. On drugs. Or committing crime.
The reason is how they are raised. That is the difference. It just is.
A family who value education, who have a strong work ethic, who have clearly good values that are of benefit to society, are reasonably intelligent, can, even if surrounded by poverty ensure their children succeed in life. Are useful to society, are kind, responsible, work hard. It is possible. I know it is.
There used to a phrase. Does the pig make the sty or the sty make the pig.
The pig makes the sty.

Because other drivers drive without insurance, a licence, drive really fast for kicks, and then meet you coming along the other way. With no seatbelt on.

You do not drive alone on the road.
And in any event, it is the required law. And it is the law because people are sick of picking up the pieces of human remains off the road of those who ‘know better’, but know nothing at all.

OP.

If your parents were academics and you've managed to become a data analyst then you have had advantages even if you don't see them.
You will have a level of academic ability.
You have academic parents who can support that ability.
Between you, you know where to go to find support for your ND or just financial support and you can navigate the system.

Compared with a family of low ability / education and someone of low ability themselves. You have had a massive advantage.

I agree with you OP, but you're gonna get a lot of anger on here. I don't ever think being poor is an excuse or reason or justification for violence or theft.

Gotta ask, is it ok for rich to do theft ?

Because they do steal, a lot. I wonder what excuse they use ?

This is a pretty naive position, I'm afraid.

Human brains develop in response to the experiences they have. None of us get to choose these, so out capacity to trust in relationships, view ourselves as capable or incapable, and so on, is not an issue of personal virtue. Largely these traits develop because of what was done too us, not what we did.

It's great that you have enough positive experiences in your childhood to be able to navigate society to make you situation better. But it doesn't make you a superior person, just luckier than some other people.

No. Of course not. What do they steal? I'm against financial fraud and crime as well.

That is not poverty.

Never said it was but it also isn’t well paid as PP suggested.

You may think it's low paid for the work. Lots of people think they are low paid for their work. But only 15% of individual earners in the UK earn 15% or above. So it puts you clearly within the proportion of higher earners in the UK.

For op to try and claim her parent being in the higher earners in the UK meant she rose out of poverty is just offensive.

I do come from poverty. I know what it was like as a kid to only have two pairs of trousers, one pair of shoes, to be told to keep quiet because the debt collector was at the door, for my mum to eat very little so the kids ate, to walk everywhere because buses were too expensive, to have no heating in my bedroom at all and little heating elsewhere, for the richest people I knew to be teachers and GPs.

lol, I actually laughed at loud at the idea that a child of two academics is from a deprived background.

So you grew up with two intelligent parents who undoubtedly provided you with cultural capital and instilled the importance of education, and were able to understand and navigate society to identify help available and how to access it.

And you can’t see how that’s different to someone whose parents can barely read and write, left school early into a life of unemployment and potentially low level crime, had no books at home to read learn to read from, only made it into school when their parents could be bothered to take them… and once they were old enough to take themselves were so far behind the rest of the class there was no point them turning up anyway, because what’s the point of GCSE history when you can’t read the words in the textbook? Then you realise you can make a bit of money my burglarising houses, to buy the drugs that make you feel less stupid and less of a failure in society. What do you do when you’re dealt that hand?

Some people just can not accept help for whatever reason ( usually trauma), my ex was like that, i even drove him to his supports, he would go in the door and when I drove away he headed to the pub ( I found this out later), my thinking of his reasons was he was not willing to put in any work to get better but he was ashamed of that so drank more and became more abusive, he died young leaving our young child fatherless and both our lives easier.

Of course not. And some of their parenting is dire. And they are not all very educated either.
Rich or poor, how you turn out is often the parenting.
But also at some point an individual has to decide how they are going to be. And stop looking back at their life. They are responsible for their actions. You would hope that people once they reach a certain age decide they own their actions and behaviours.

Can I just also add. Working class people can be educated. They can have parents who are intelligent. They can value education. It is not the premise of people who are middle class and above. To suggest so is really so insulting.