To hate the pressure for facial injections

[TrickNotTreats]

Virtually all of my friends and family members (youngest are my nieces in mid twenties!) have Botox/fillers etc .

Everyone is asking me (or trying to give me friendly advice/recommendations) why I don’t. Being nice about it telling me I’d look better and that they just want to help me .

Am I really that odd to not be getting this done? I’m 43 and yes I have a few little lines (and apparently loss of volume round eyes thanks SIL for pointing that out !) but they aren’t that bad and also if relevant I’m autistic and I really hate change I think if I made even slight tweaks to my face I’d hate it and feel panicky! I also have sensory issues and if it feels weird I’d hate it!

Still it’s constant they keep saying to get it done. At family gatherings it’s now the number one topic of conversation who has had what done, the latest things they are into. They all look amazing but I feel a bit ‘odd one out’ and struggle to join in conversations!

Each to their own I know but it’s become like a cult and they want to recruit me. Sometimes it knocks my confidence a little but not enough for me to do it.

Dreading over Xmas the conversations and comparisons and inevitable ‘you should get Botox/tear trough filler/lip filler etc’

Expand your friendship circle. I have friends who do loads but like to pretend they have nothing done (weirdly they now all look the same) and friends like me, who don’t do any. It’s just not brought up in conversation.

How weird. I only have one friend who has had any work done, and she barely mentions it.

It does sound like a cult. All you can do is walk away and busy yourself every time they start boring on about it.

Wow you know a lot of vain people

Ugh. I'd want to drop the lot of them.
I'm in my 40s and have never experienced this. I don't have any friends/family with their lips done etc and it's not something I'd ever do.

No explanation other than ‘I don’t want to’ is necessary. Repeat. Don’t give them anything to argue with. (don’t say because of autism, or change or money etc)

im 40s, I haven’t and don’t intend to. I can afford it… I just don’t feel like it’s worth the money! What a waste of time and energy.

A few years ago my dd saw a therapist. This woman really helped her but after about 5 months I noticed the therapist looked different. I assume she'd had fillers and /or botox. At first I told myself it was for migraine control but it affected her whole face so i don't think so. Dh snd I completely lost faith in her as a therapist because of the botox/fillers. Fortunately dd was coming to the end of sessions so we just stopped.

She's the only professional person I've had dealings with who has had this done and I really didn't like the effect it had on me looking at her. Apart from losing confidence in her as a therapist it was like talking to someone who was only 99% human.

Your friends and family are very different to mine, SIL is the only person I know who has had botox and everyone took the piss out of her frozen forehead. Age gracefully op.
I think a lot of people who have work done are in denial about how obvious it is. Quite often they don't look younger, they just look like they have filler / botox.

YANBU Botox should be banned.

Gosh. I know of one friend who tried Botox on her forehead once. No one else has had anything done (we are all late 50s to mid 60s, middle class and all care about how we look in that we dress well, exercise etc).
Just tell them you aren’t interested. If they persists ask them why. I expect they just want to justify their own use of injections. But that’s their decision and tell them it’s ridiculous that they feel the need to put pressure on you when you are perfectly happy and acceptable as you are.

I don’t know a single person among my family or friends who uses these things. Just say no.

That’s very odd and I’d say unusual to pressure someone else like this,

I had fillers on the lower half of my face, marionette and jowls, and wow the difference it made so natural, so I went and had very low dose of Botox, just two places in my forehead, so I still have movement and minor wrinkles when I raise my eyebrows and didn’t have any Botox on my crows feet, which are minor, so I look very natural but wow what a difference, all those creams and potions and all I needed was a little injection,

However id never dream of telling anyone else to try it, nor would I dream if telling anyone they’ve had too much,and plenty do, the frozen rigid look some women have is awful, as is the look when they only have Botox and don’t treat their lower face, and it’s incongruous, the whole face needs treated, to ensure balance, and it should never be a frozen death mask look,

is it marvellous absolutely, when done right, is it personal choice, absolutely , do I tell people, yes I’m honest, do I love the results, absolutely would I suggest anyone else gets it done, absolutely not, and as said, I’d also not tell them when they’ve had it done badly and their face looks frozen on the top and normal ageing on the bottom,

I have a group of friends who work in fashion, they’ve certainly all done this kind of thing, and a few times they’ve suggested it to me, I’ve not shown any interest, and they’ve dropped it.

It’s weird that your family keep suggesting it tbh!

Have you definitely outright told them you don’t want to? What would happen if you said “I know I could do x treatment, I don’t want to and am never going to, so let’s move on”?

Agree with others, this kind of pressure is unusual. Perhaps to your area or your family/social circle (or both). I’m 45 and have literally never had a conversation about this with friends or family, let alone had any pressure put on me.

I think work like this comes from a place of insecurity rather than vanity, so I wouldn’t be mean about it. I would be blunt though - I will never have these treatments, stop talking to me about them.

It’s quite obvious several mums and DC’s primary school have had Botox…. They just look kind of shiny.
My aunt (now 70) has had it for years, she can smile but there’s no expression to her smile. Sad. I also think eventually they just look like they’ve melted a bit, which is much worse than just looking older!!!!
Wouldn’t do this if you paid me….!!!

It’s really shoved down our throats these days. I actually love watching old films and tv shows just to watch people emote and have weird teeth. I’m so tired of seeing perfect faces. I hope you continue to resist the pressure to look like everyone else

Your family sound really boring

Family: you should do it... you'll look better

OP: fuck off. I'm fine and don't have the clear insecurities you do. Don't project your mental health issues and radical alterations to your body on to me in an effort to make yourself feel better.

Sorted

I am also in London and it is definitely not a widespread thing among my friends and family and for those who have done it, they would probably never admit to it, let alone nag others to do it.

Someone alluded to it up thread where they said all the care workers at her parents care home had it.

Without wanting to sound too snobby but perhaps it's unavoidable, visible fillers and Botox usage is very much a signifier of lower socio-economic class in London. And talking about it definitely is.

Omg definitely stick to your guns!

Exactly. What's so hard about that? If they persist tell them to keep their mouths shut.

Same. I like watching old films (Talking Pictures channel), and repeats of TV shows, and love seeing ‘normal’ faces and teeth.

Lines, wrinkles, wonky teeth.

Nobody has suggested it to me.

They’re the odd ones out! Nobody has ever suggested I get anything like this and I’m 45! Don’t know anyone who’s had it done

Tell them it’s rude to imply people are ugly and haggard. They’ll soon stop when you point out, loudly, that they are insulting you.

Without wanting to sound too snobby but perhaps it's unavoidable, visible fillers and Botox usage is very much a signifier of lower socio-economic class in London. And talking about it definitely is.

It’s unavoidable. Don’t live in London but live in a niace area where people move to get into the Outstanding secondary… If they can afford to do so…. Nobody has ever mentioned the ‘work’ done on then, and I’m pretty sure most would even deny it if asked!! But the shiny Botox look is quite distinctive. Though I think many are in denial and think think they just look more youthful/ it’s natural looking. And becomes more obvious the older they get.