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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Moving abroad has made me realise how bloody dire the UK is

383 replies

MattHancocksPrivateNurse · Today 16:36

We moved abroad 4 months ago and after the normal wobbles and adjustments I am now shocked at how different (and much better!) life is. We have considerably more spending money despite paying for private school and healthcare (which are much much better than the UK). It’s safer, considerably cleaner, better public services and much better food quality.

already I can’t see us ever going back and already want to explore somewhere new eventually! But if anyone is feeling low and despondent about the uk which we really were and gets an opportunity (or has a transferable job) I would 100000% recommend looking into it.

i wish we had done it 10 years ago tbh. AIBU to never come back bar the odd visit to see family and friends?!

OP posts:
Additup · Today 17:23

MattHancocksPrivateNurse · Today 17:11

This attitude and bitterness is what we left behind. Everyone here has been so welcoming, it feels a positive environment for kids with hope for the future. In the UK everyone was desperate to drag you down if you want better

Maybe move back to the UK and get some new friends who don't drag you down if you want better? You'll have more rights as well as no warzone next door 😁

FreshInk · Today 17:23

I can’t believe that you would do that to your own DD’s, to move them to a place in which they matter less than boys/men. You put their wellbeing behind your own desires.

ExtraHotDoubleShot · Today 17:23

MattHancocksPrivateNurse · Today 16:41

We’ve moved to the Oman which I know mumsnet hates the ME but so far it’s been great. Husbands insurance is covered, ours was £3000 for myself and 3 kids for very good coverage. No I will take Arabic lessons and kids learn it in school but everyone speaks English!

I’m glad you like it. I wouldn’t like year round heat and a lack of connection with my surroundings. I love Halloween/Christmas and trying to do all that in the ME just wouldn’t hit right. It just isn’t for me.

ExtraHotDoubleShot · Today 17:24

FreshInk · Today 17:23

I can’t believe that you would do that to your own DD’s, to move them to a place in which they matter less than boys/men. You put their wellbeing behind your own desires.

And this. Tbh the acceptance of Westerners is a thin veneer that could easily break at any time

Ved · Today 17:24

Ah the weekly UK-bashing thread. Nothing to see here. Smile

I hope you have a happy life in Oman.

Wild horses wouldn't drag me there. Especially (as pps have said) with daughters..

.

hotmumshit · Today 17:24

I wonder, genuinely op, what your ethnicity and class background is?

Would someone black with dark skin be treated as well as someone white?

Can other religions exist and practice where you are?

I can understand the appeal, especially as I have this unhinged neighbour and lots of criminals living near me - i long to be somewhere safer where I dont anxiously check the ring camera on my car

But to me thats moving to Mayfair 😄

All the best

Pallisers · Today 17:24

Lifenov86 · Today 16:57

Op be careful what you say to people back home. I lived abroad for 12 years. We saw many come and go. It’s hard to go back to the uk if you have spent years slagging it off, you don’t know what the future hold. Also you are very very new, the shine does wear off.

This is really good advice.

Cheesehound · Today 17:25

Smug

BandyUrnham · Today 17:25

I can’t see us ever going back Good.

Chendi · Today 17:27

MattHancocksPrivateNurse · Today 16:41

We’ve moved to the Oman which I know mumsnet hates the ME but so far it’s been great. Husbands insurance is covered, ours was £3000 for myself and 3 kids for very good coverage. No I will take Arabic lessons and kids learn it in school but everyone speaks English!

But that’s the thing. The Middle East is one of those places that I would never ever move to for various reasons. Give me my London life any day of the week! But clearly your new home suits you, so I am pleased for you ofc

Vulpini · Today 17:27

seanconneryseyebrow · Today 17:01

I second this. I lived in Oz (age 30-47). Im now 52. I said same as you OP, but worse actually. I thought UK was an absolute grey steaming pile of shit. By 47 (well 40 actually) I was well and truly over oz. I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE Uk now. Theres another thread running on here where we are appreciating the UK and all its charm, quaintness, history, countryside, humour. Its bloody marvellous. I appreciate its not great if you are dirt poor here, but IME its still a lot better than most places. The grass is definately not always greener.

Edited

Please Could you tell me where the appreciate thread is? Thanks ☺️

Waytoohothot · Today 17:28

Went to a country like Oman first day in a lift got asked for sex as i was a white woman, he thought i was a prostitute as i was english, he had his wife who was veiled and carrying a baby,.i would never go back anywhere like that,.i assume you are living in an.english/american community or ex pat,.the same things go on there as do.here, addiction affairs domestic violence, ..
With our beaches and forests here in the UK and quaint villages and wild pigs boars horses ponies donkeys all free roaming how is that not beautiful

Chendi · Today 17:29

OsfameronTanamoril · Today 17:04

Leaving aside the downsides of Oman, I don't believe they grant citizenship, do they? Correct me if I am wrong.
So you are an immigrant at the mercy of a work visa?

They will be calling themselves ex-pats, not immigrants I am sure 🙄

SabbatWheel · Today 17:30

My friend helped fit out the (then) new opera house in Muscat. They left at the end of the first 8 month contract even though they could’ve signed for another 18 months because of the absolutely appalling way the Omanis treated the Indian workers. They were horrified.

That, and the 50deg heat.

Bestfootforward11 · Today 17:31

I suppose it depends by what you mean by quality of life. The financial side of things might be better on a personal basis but there’s other things in the ME that might be considered as not positive relevant to quality of life in a broader sense.

Tryingtothinkofausername · Today 17:31

Four months? You're still in the honeymoon period of any move overseas. I'm not really sure why you posted but wish you luck.

ByDenimNewt · Today 17:31

Imagine moving your daughters to a place that doesn't criminalise domestic violence or marital rape, where polygamy is legal (just for men of course), abortion is illegal in all circumstances and men have sole custody over their children. Ah well, who cares about human rights - at least you have more spending money ay

Soontobe60 · Today 17:32

MattHancocksPrivateNurse · Today 16:41

We’ve moved to the Oman which I know mumsnet hates the ME but so far it’s been great. Husbands insurance is covered, ours was £3000 for myself and 3 kids for very good coverage. No I will take Arabic lessons and kids learn it in school but everyone speaks English!

This Oman?
Restrictions on freedom of expression increased. A new citizenship law enabled authorities to revoke citizenship from critics of the Sultan or the state, while activists and protesters faced arrests and imprisonment for peaceful expression. Press freedom was further restricted by new media regulations granting state authorities broad powers of censorship and surveillance. Minimum standards for employing domestic workers were introduced but migrant workers, particularly domestic workers, remained trapped under the abusive kafala (sponsorship) system, suffering exploitation with limited legal protection. Women and girls continued to experience gender-based discrimination, including under the new citizenship law, and lacked protection from domestic violence.
Freedom of expression and association
On 11 February the Sultan of Oman ratified a new citizenship law that allowed the authorities to revoke Omani citizenship from people who verbally or physically “offend” Oman or the Sultan, or who belong to a group, party or organization that embraces principles or beliefs that “harm the interests” of Oman – vague terms that can be used to silence opponents and restrict opinions.
Authorities continued to summon, arrest and prosecute activists, government critics and peaceful protesters.
On 8 April, activist Talal Al-Salmani was arrested after joining a peaceful gathering during which he criticized the government. He was sentenced two days later to a fine for “participation in an unlawful gathering” and to one year in prison for “spreading news likely to undermine the prestige of the state”. In May the Muscat Court of Appeal upheld his conviction but reduced the prison term to three months for each charge, to be served concurrently. He was released on 6 August.
Salem bin Salam Al-Salti was summoned for interrogation on 8 August. He was subjected to enforced disappearance, the duration of which could not be confirmed by the end of the year. Media outlets and an Omani NGO reported that his summons was related to his comments on social media criticizing government policy on unemployment.
Omani authorities arrested writer Mohammed Ali Al-Bar’ami on 18 June, two days after he posted comments on the platform X criticizing the government system as “corrupt”. On 28 July the Primary Court in the city of Salalah sentenced him to four years in prison, fined him OMR 5,000 (around USD 13,000) and ordered the closure of his social media accounts for “using information networks and information technology means to publish what may harm public order”.
Press freedom
In September the Ministry of Information issued Executive Regulations to operationalize the Media Law passed in December 2024. The Media Law expanded state power to restrict press freedom by granting authorities broad powers to control media content and licensing of newspapers, broadcasting channels, news agencies, media workers and publishing houses. The law also granted sweeping powers to suspend activities without judicial approval, impose surveillance on journalists and media institutions, and limit the licensed use of social media accounts to Omani citizens in that profession.
Migrants’ rights
Despite official pledges to abolish the kafala (sponsorship) system, it remained in force leaving hundreds of thousands of migrant workers – particularly domestic workers – vulnerable to abuse. Sponsors continued to exert control by illegally confiscating workers’ documents, restricting their freedom of movement and employment, while the authorities failed to provide adequate protection to those fleeing exploitation.
In September at least 11 Indian migrant workers were stranded after the company employing them withheld four months’ wages, denied overtime pay and confiscated their passports when they protested.
On 13 October the Ministry of Labour issued Ministerial Decision No. 574/2025, which introduced regulations to establish minimum standards for domestic workers, including weekly and annual leave, sick leave, regulated working hours and rest periods, prohibition of forced labour, and banning the retention of workers’ passports.
While these changes were long overdue, they did little to shift the power imbalance between employers and migrant workers. It remained unclear how the changes were being implemented, as many migrant domestic workers continued to face abuse, poor working and living conditions, unpaid wages, long working hours, movement restrictions and illegal passport confiscation.
Women’s and girls’ rights
Oman continued to lack comprehensive legal protections against domestic violence. There remained no stand-alone law that explicitly criminalized domestic abuse. Existing legislation on divorce, marriage and inheritance continued to uphold gender biases, consistently favouring men.
The new citizenship law, passed in February, discriminated against women by restricting their ability to confer nationality to their children and foreign spouses on the same basis as men and imposing stricter conditions for children of Omani women married to foreign men. This perpetuated gender inequality and put children at risk of statelessness

https://www.amnesty.org/en/location/middle-east-and-north-africa/middle-east/oman/report-oman/

Human rights in Oman

Stay up to date on the state of human rights in Oman with the latest research, campaigns and education material from Amnesty International.

https://www.amnesty.org/en/location/middle-east-and-north-africa/middle-east/oman/report-oman/

Oliveoy · Today 17:32

MattHancocksPrivateNurse · Today 17:09

Yes we are on a work visa. I don’t think we will be here forever at all but we will definitely move somewhere else rather than back home to the UK.

im not saying Oman is perfect or that I hate the UK. But I think we put up with a poor quality of life considering how hard we were working and how much education we had done and how much we were earning on paper and we just got fed up. Being somewhere without the negative press, the risk of violence or sexual assault, that’s clean etc makes such a difference. I’ve been spat out, sworn at and treated like crap at work so it feels so nice comparatively!

Maybe you could move to North Korea next

Chendi · Today 17:32

SabbatWheel · Today 17:30

My friend helped fit out the (then) new opera house in Muscat. They left at the end of the first 8 month contract even though they could’ve signed for another 18 months because of the absolutely appalling way the Omanis treated the Indian workers. They were horrified.

That, and the 50deg heat.

Edited

I am from a country in the Indian subcontinent. I have seen what happens to the poor and vulnerable people that are taken there under false pretences and worked like slaves in the heat, with passports confiscated. That is a major reason why I would never live in somewhere like Oman. The bling is built on the backs of modern slaves.

thestudio · Today 17:33

MattHancocksPrivateNurse · Today 17:11

This attitude and bitterness is what we left behind. Everyone here has been so welcoming, it feels a positive environment for kids with hope for the future. In the UK everyone was desperate to drag you down if you want better

Bitterness? It's just... good moral values and decency? You're no loss if you want better at the expense of other people's basic rights.

I bet they are welcoming, though, since it's people like you who enable the regime that makes them rich to continue. And the poor are so poor they've got no option but to smile ingratiatingly. They loathe you.

Shineonyoucrazy · Today 17:33

Horses for courses! The two families I know well who moved to Oman (main earner Pilot in one family, chemist in another) both came back - they never felt that they really belonged, they felt life there had a precariousness about it.

IcedPurple · Today 17:34

MattHancocksPrivateNurse · Today 17:22

This is how it feels tbh. Women are treated incredibly well

Not just 'well' but incredibly well eh?

OK.

What can women do there that they can't do in Britain?

TheBayHorse · Today 17:34

YABU simply because many people are not in a position to move abroad even if they wanted to (I don't personally). My family and friends are here including my young adult children whose own friends and lives are here. I've got no desire to leave the people I love. I'm also being treated for cancer. The support I've had from the NHS has been fantastic and I'm not sure I'd qualify for health insurance elsewhere.

I'm glad you're enjoying yourself but your life might look very different a few years down the line.

SnowflakesandSlippers · Today 17:35

We moved back to the UK and have a lovely life and feel really lucky, especially as we live in the countryside. Are you able to live in the main areas, or is it a gated/expat community area? We've lived in quite a few countries and really I think everywhere has ups and downs. It's just nice to be happy with where you are and what you've got.

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