To consider myself mostly out of the trenches now the kids are 6 and 3?

[outhereover]

Life has definitely undergone a seismic shift in the last few months and it’s a lot easier.

Now if I could get rhe 3 yo to sleep past 6 am …

It was funny with dd. It was almost to the day. I remember the month before she turned three being hard work. Bossy, clingy, demanding. I mean we still have moments but very brief and she’s so so SO much more independent.

Tbf I do think ‘in the trenches’ is a fairly well known phrase when it comes to parenting very young children. But I do know some people can’t not make it about them.

i found ages 4-11 really lovely, easy even. I’m struggling with early teens, and not because mine are difficult (they’re not, they’re lovely and hard working and still want to spend time with me/chat/ask for advice/do nice things etc). It’s more the external factors that are hard… eg a nasty one in the friendship group who seems intent on making my daughter’s life miserable, for example. Physically much easier than baby and toddlerdom, emotionally harder!
And the ferrying about/lifts 😭

Agree, I found the teen years soo much more psychologically exhausting, made the baby/toddler years seem a walk in the park ( literally) . But as you say everyone is different.

I feel that was a bit unkind to a poster who was just expressing that they are finding it very difficult at the moment. I hope that they are ok.

I have 3. One is still under 3, I found both of the others got a lot easier around 3 so I'm hoping that I find the same with the youngest. My middle one was definitely the easiest baby and toddler of the 3 though. Just different personalities.

Mine are 16 and 11. Ive never felt ive been out of the trenches.

Easy children? Breezy primary years? Babies and toddlers a walk in the park?

Never found more than 3 hours easy.

I said this to DH the other day ours are 4 and 6 and still a handful in lots of ways but this has been my favourite ‘era’ so far

Sorry posted early by accident!

Deluded if you think teaching prepares you for parenting.

Of course we wouldn't be better without the kids. But that doesn't mean the hard work ends at ages 6&3.

I’m not characteristically unkind but I am getting a bit fed up of being told I’m an idiot (not in so many words but that’s the gist, isn’t it?)

Lots do find the teenage years hard, many of us didn’t. I found the first year hard and each month has got easier since then.

The thing is @HappyViewer unless I have been reading the wrong threads people don’t usually use ‘in the trenches’ to describe them. That’s not to say that they don’t pose challenges (although this isn’t a given) but when someone says ‘I am in the trenches at the moment’ referring to parenting you pretty much know they have preschoolers, right? So I feel I’m coming out of that stage, not quite there yet but can see the signs, and have a load of patronising posts telling me I’m an idiot and that it’s going to get so much worse and yeah … it is a bit annoying tbh!

Sorry kind of was a bit grumpy then, were agreeing with one another!

I have teenagers, I would rather go back to sleepless nights and toddler tantrums. Wake me up when they leave home...

Just wait until you have teenagers!!!

Yep, mine are 8 and 4 and life is SO much easier. All those "it never gets any easier" harbingers of doom are fundamentally wrong. I'm sure the teenage years have their challenges but, for the most part, potty trained children who sleep through the night, don't require massive bags of stuff to leave the house, don't need strollers, can be trusted not to run into the road, walk reasonable distances and can get themselves on and off the swings at the park are a hell of a lot easier than babies and toddlers.

So, naturally I'm pregnant 😂

They’re not, no. And I think those who have easy teenagers (I have one) can have no understanding of how hard it can be. A hard teenager will be a billion times harder than a hard toddler. I have enjoyed all the stages so far really, but by far the hardest for me was 13-17 with my ND teen. Utterly all consuming. Easiest ages are primary, or easy teenager.

Definitely gets easier around 3 OP, I’m pleased you’re feeling it! Mine are 8 and 6 year old twins, still very difficult when all 3 are together but much easier than it used to be! My niece/ nephew are teenagers and are absolute delights. I think there are more ‘easy’ teenagers than easy babies. I also wonder if the passage of time means we forget the physical exhaustion of young children by the time we’re at teenage years.

mine definitely won’t be easy teenagers though 🤣

Oh @Swissmeringue you're braver than me! I couldn’t do it again … congratulations though!

@arethereanyleftatall i would agree that it doesn’t really get better where Sen is thrown in the mix. As far as I can know that isn’t applicable here. Very hard though.

I do think this is very true. My DDs sleep was absolutely dire from 1-2. Ds just didn’t sleep until he was 18 months and I sleep trained him. It doesn’t feel too bad looking back but it really was horrific.

All I would say for teenage years, especially girls, is just keep an eye for ND. Like many girls, dd sailed through primary, it was so easy for her. Wheels came totally off in secondary and you tear your hair out trying to work out why they are what seems to be so gobsmackingly selfish and self absorbed. Then a few years later down the line, you get the diagnosis, and you realise the root of it all is a lack of focus and RSD. It all makes sense. But fuck me, it’s hard trying to work it out. Sorry, derail.

Not this again

I'd say things were fairly easy comparatively by 3, but it's only now he's in school that I feel properly out of the trenches.

But perhaps that's because I was at home with him 2 days before that, so I was still doing a lot of childcare and all the related planning. Maybe I'd have felt out of the trenches earlier if he'd been in full time nursery.

I don’t think that particular poster you replied to about the trenches was being patronising to you though, she was just saying she’s having a really hard time with her 16 year old at the moment. I hope she’s ok.

Mine are 6 and 3 and sometimes I definitely think things are getting easier. Other times I think dear god when will this pass because I can’t do another minute of this. Then the next minute I get upset at the thought of how quick time is passing.