AIBU to leave a job after just three weeks because it’s impacting my mental health?

[islifemorethanmum]

I recently started a new job after leaving a role I’d been in for nearly two years. I was genuinely excited about the opportunity, but it’s been a really difficult experience.

I was promised six weeks of handover and training, but the person I was replacing left after just seven working days. I’ve been left managing a significant workload while still trying to learn the systems and processes.

My immediate team have been lovely, but support from other departments has been lacking, and some interactions have felt quite unkind.

For context, I suffer with anxiety, so my working environment and the support around me make a huge difference to how I thrive. I’ve worked in demanding roles before and I’m more than capable of handling a busy workload, but I need to feel comfortable asking questions, particularly when I’m new.

The situation has completely knocked my confidence. I’ve been working late, constantly worrying and feeling physically sick at the thought of going into the office. It’s also affecting my home life.
I’ve raised my concerns with my manager, but my anxiety has reached the point where I’ve had to take time off.

I’m now considering resigning, but I have a young child, financial commitments and no other job secured. I’m actively applying and speaking with recruiters, but nothing is guaranteed.
I feel like a failure for wanting to leave so soon, but equally I can’t imagine continuing to feel this way.

AIBU to resign without another job lined up, or would you try to stick it out?

If I had a young child and needed the money I would not quit, I would put time into managing my anxiety every evening and game planning for the next day - mantras, reminders ‘I do need to know this for my job. Them not telling me is a them problem, they will have to put up with me asking again. And again. And again. That’s what I’m paid to do. Etc. For every difficult conversation you may have the next day. Each evening make a list of 3 prioritised tasks for the next day and 5 moments from the last day that weren’t so bad, 3 nice things about colleagues. Remind yourself you get to go home to your baby.

I think saying you’re suffering from
anxiety is not helpful. It makes you feel different.

you just started a new job and you’re anxious. That’s normal, not different.

for goodness sake just get on with it.

Imagine coming on a post by somebody that explains they have anxiety and saying “for goodness sake just get on with it”

I think if you don’t understand something maybe you shouldn’t speak on it.

I can sympathize op, it is horrible. I am almost four months into a new job and it is just starting to get a bit better. I have resigned once already and was persuaded to stay with a change of team leader as the first one was largely part of the problem. I still have very tearful days, that probably sounds pathetic. Every morning I wake up with dread unsure how I will get through the day. Hopefully things will improve for you soon. Whilst I do think mental health is important I would do everything you can to try to work through it as the job market is dire at the moment. The only thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that at my age I am very unlikley to get another job.

I agree with others that 6 weeks of handover and training sounds like a huge amount. Even 7 days is more than I have ever had in any job.

On your point about needing to feel comfortable asking questions, I always found that being new was the perfect time to ask questions. People expect you to have questions because they know you are new and don’t know everything about the job.

I think what you're struggling with, is they promised you something really supportive and then pulled the rug. If they'd been honest and told you 7 days handover at the start, it wouldn't have been as bad. So, now you don't trust them and that's making you anxious, as you're questioning what will happen next. I totally get that. Only you can know if you've got the financial cushion to quit and if you think somewhere else will be a better fit for you. Could you temp for a bit after it and then just bundle the whole period on you CV as 'various temp contracts'?

Are you a SW?