Order of our names changed on joint bank account

[Maresmaid]

Many years ago my husband and I opened 2 joint bank accounts. One was set up in joint names with his name first and the other in joint names with my name first so that we could easily identify which account was which. The account with his name first received our salaries and transferred a regular amount to the account with my name first which then paid out all the various household dd’s. I recently needed to set up a new standing order to the account with my name first and discovered that the names have been switched round by the bank without our knowledge so both accounts now show my husbands name first.

I am fully aware that this makes no difference to my legal claim to the money in the account and it’s just really an admin issue, but it’s made me feel like making a fuss and insisting they change it back. I deal with the family finances, I use the mobile and banking app, when something needs paying husband asks me to log on and do it, so technically I am the primary user and i feel like making a stand about the sexism of automatically showing husbands name before wife’s.

Am I being unreasonable if I complain to the bank?

I'm not sure. We opened our joint accounts before we married (I kept my own name in any case), and my first name and last name are both alphabetically before his - e.g. BA and he's PH - those are not our actual initials, and they still put him first.

It’ll be to do with the mailing name which they can amend and put you first(I may or may not have worked with said bank previously)

But if no salary paid in...how would they know.

Its dreadful. Sorry pure sexist behaviour.

Read @Tryingtothinkofausername post at 13:45 to see how it has disadvantaged women previously

You've got badly written software then

How would it have coped with Evelyn Waugh and his first wife?

Or indeed my very own parents?

i had this with NatWest and my business account. Suddenly changed so that his name came first. Joint account as we had a business loan. After several months of them failing to act on my request to put it right I finally rang Head office in a strop. Cheeky young man had the nerve to question the stability of our marriage by asking if there were ‘problems’.

They don’t … it’s rubbish.

What 40 years ago … there are hundreds of things that can be picked out if people are going back that far. Today … the order of names on a bank account makes zero difference. If you / anyone is that bothered then open your own bank account … believe it or not, it’s actually allowed!!!

I can't speak knowledgeably for France; but you'll get plenty of people in the UK who will insist that 'Mr & Mrs John Smith' is 'correct', and thus berate and gainsay you if you object.

I remember as a child seeing a book written by 'Mrs Charles Smith' and being surprised both by the use of the author's title on a book cover and thinking that Charles was a strange name for a woman. It was only years later that I realised that, even though the book was written single-handedly by a woman, she was still being officially referred to purely as the wife of somebody who was considered important.

‘Just an appendage’ eh? - We have come further now thank goodness but we are nowhere near true equality.

I quite often feel petty if I correct from Miss or Mrs to Ms or Dr, but I only feel petty because of the ‘don’t make a fuss’ socialisation I had as a woman. Why shouldn’t I correct my name? If it wasn’t for the sexism and misogyny that came before I wouldn’t need to.

France is a really funny country because officially, in the passport or driver's licence, you never change from the name you're born with. But once you get married, somehow it's automatically assumed you do. So banks, social security, tax office, health insurance etc - they all have me recorded and address me as either Mme Jacques Cousteau or if they have a good day, I get Mme Katharina Cousteau. That's not my name. I don't have any ID with this name. I never asked them to change my name. And yes I actually did change my bank that claimed those are the rules and nothing they can do - oddly next bank was just fine having both names on the account, not just Jacques Cousteau and his wife.

A bit of history on Mrs Man which I found interesting.

www.campop.geog.cam.ac.uk/blog/2024/07/11/women-husbands-surnames/