To think that it is unusual?

[MangoMustard]

I know mumsnet can be the extreme of most situations so im sure I will get lots of people telling me they are too but aibu to think that it IS unusual to be celibate for 10 years in your 30s? (This is my situation) I know it may be common in older age ranges but do you think it’s common in your 30s or would you say it’s unusual?

Gosh you’re really angry, I assume you’re not celibate through choice, what are you doing to meet someone ?

I’ve already explained im asking people currently in their 30s but thanks for going over it again.

Have been celibate since 24 now in my early 40’s so that included all my 30’s.

Angry? Please show me how? I just said im asking people in the same age bracket.

I think it's probably very unusual.
Not sure why people are getting so uptight about you wondering specifically about people in your age group either.

Omg thank you! Can only assume they are weirdos, not sure why it’s bothering them so much that im asking about people a similar age to me! Apparently im “angry” 🤣

Your posts come across as angry, very, lashing out at posters, as you’re not getting what you want in answers,

are you celibate through choice?

😱

Im going to ignore anyone getting upset about me asking about people in my age bracket. You are obviously looking for an argument.

My sister is 40 and has been completely celibate for the last 8 years and has zero wish to change that going forward. Her focus is her kids and she knows first hand how damaging a terrible step father can be even if they never raise a hand to you. She wants to avoid that for her kids and I agree with her.

No she's not, she's just frustrated that people aren't answering her actual question!

I know a someone in their 40s who has never had sex with a man or woman. Purposefully, judt doesn't feel its for them

Do they have other issues? The reason I ask is the only people I know who are the same (family members) are definitely not your average sort of people.

I've politely answered your questions. You've been quite rude in response!

They're a bit kind of awkward, a bit sort of un-self aware in terms of how they present themselves and have a kind of codependent relationship with their parents, but have friends etc

Thanks, thats interesting, I am not asexual, just circumstances more than anything, I guess they are?

I dont think so. There have been a couple of almost relationships, but they decided not to 'ruin the friendship'... its possible they have just left it so long they've made a thing of it that they can't overcome now

Thats interesting because you've just described the 2 people I was thinking of to a T, especially the parental co dependency.

Yes, it's unusual. Why does that matter? Either you're happy with the situation in which case it doesn't matter or you're not and need to do something to change it.

I have two female friends that were celebate their entire 30s.

One had a boyfriend in their early 20s but nothing since, now mid 40s. They are diagnosed autisitc and happy alone.

The other is the same age and I am genuinely not sure if they have ever had sex. Certainly not a boyfriend. They have a lot of confidence issues but also live with their parents and seem quite happy just at work and home most of the time.

I don't think its typical but I also think its more common than some people realise.

Oh I just remembered another women I used to be friends with before I moved job. She told me she had never even kissed a man (or woman). At that point she was 38. She said this was due to confidence and being overweight.

Like other people on the threat I think it’s not unusual to know a few people who match this description but population wide it isn’t common.

One person I know has never had a partner and is likely a virgin. The other had a relationship in her 20s that last about a year and there hasn’t been anything since I believe.

It’s likely unusual yes, but nothing wrong with not having sex. It’s an activity like any other.

Interesting, I don’t know anyone my age thats why I asked (only much older people again not wishing to offend) thats why I asked. I know people that have been celibate for a year or 2 after a relationship but not a decade.

I was from 31 -39 but was a single Mum coming out of a horrific abusive situation and needed time to heal and just look after me and DC.