Where would you live? (Attempt two)

[Feena123]

I messed up the options.

Both places have equally good schools and general quality of life. Both are naice towns.

YABU - Town A - 1hr from friends and family, would likely have occasional childcare support, no local friends, more “upmarket” town, could afford a small 2 bed in a rougher area

YANBU - Town B - 2hrs from friends and family, rare childcare support due to distance, some local friends, could afford a 3 bed semi with a garden and parking in a reasonable area

I already answered a lot of this in the replies. Two same sex preschoolers. I don’t need childcare support because I can pay for it, and will be in either place.

If I lived closer, I’d like to think my family would offer some support, however I wouldn’t rely on it happening. Realistically I’d be travelling to them most of the time. But 1hr drive with kids is significantly easier than 2hr as a day trip.

I would really want to avoid living in a rough area, particularly as the only adult in the household. So I would choose B. I think you also need to think really carefully about what sort of school environment your DC are likely to get if you move to a rough area.

It can be hard when your DC are pre-schoolers to imagine them as older DC, but that point will come quicker than you think. From the age of about 9 or so they will want the independence of walking to and from school on their own and calling for friends independently. So you need to imagine your DC walking around without you in a few years' time and think which area you would choose for them to be walking in: the streets around home in Town A or the streets around home in Town B?

Town B, as it doesn’t seem worth paying a premium to live in an upmarket town if you’re not in the nice part of it.

I would go for town B as it’s a bigger house in a nicer area. If friends and family lived in town A, it might be worth considering, but if you’re an hour away, you may as well be 2 hours away. You’ll make new friends.

Town b. Town A isn’t going to work, it’s a horrible feeling to live in the rough part especially if friends and family are in the nicer bit. As a single mum you’ll want to feel safe and secure so it’s not worth the move for what is occasional help. In town B you’ll be safer, you’ll have a garden which will be a godsend in the summer/school holidays. Childcare can be found, more friends can be found especially when you’re about to get involved with primary school.

the only downside is a 2 hour drive to see family, but that’s not a daily event whereas living above a shop in a rough area with no garden is.

Go for the place where your day to day life is nicer. I would choose 3 bedrooms and a garden over a flat in a not particularly nice area. At least then you can enjoy being at home, and your kids will have space to invite friends round when they get to that stage in a couple of years.

Town B. When your kids start school it will really matter where you live, because the people on your street and on your walk to school are your neighbours and your children’s school mates for years. Reciprocal childcare with friends becomes easier when school starts, and in order to make that work you also want to have a home where you can host other people’s kids.

i am sorry for the situation you’re in and I can understand why you want to move closer to family, but realistically 1hour is not close enough to be of regular use, especially as the kids get older.

Town B. You’ll make new friends.

I’m not sure friends & family an hour away will offer you any more support than being 2 hours away tbh. They aren’t “around the corner”. You could move to be closer for support and end up feeling very disappointed if the support doesn’t materialise.

Do they currently give support and if so how far away do you live now.

Town b

Don't know, can't get past you use naice.

Flat above a shop or three-bed semi?

Hmm... Unless you're talking about a smart apartment above a Notting Hill antique emporium or something similar, I think the answer is obvious.

Town B - bigger house, better area, already know some people.
Whether 1 or 2 hours from friends and family; neither is 5 mins so both a good drive. With a bigger house, you could have a spare room for visitors.