My sister, whom I’ll call Jane, is mother to a 6-year-old boy, whom I’ll call Noah. Noah is a sweet child, and advanced in many ways, with one large caveat: he still exclusively uses nappies, day and night. I should mention here that Noah is not physically or developmentally delayed in any way.
Any time someone in the family brings it up, Jane will simply say he’s not ready and close down the discussion. As a mum of two now-grown boys (ages 21 and 24), I see all the signs of potty training readiness in Noah that I saw in my own kids two decades ago: he can recognise when he’s wet versus dry, can verbalise when he needs his nappy changed, and often seeks privacy when needs to do his business. But Jane still won’t hear about it from anyone.
Jane asked me recently if I would watch Noah for a week while she travels to attend a college reunion. (She went to school overseas for it would be a longer visit.) After giving it thought, I said I wasn’t comfortable changing nappies for a 6-year-old for that long. This sent her into a rage and I heard many variations of “He’s my child,” “I’ll decide when he’s ready,” and “you have no business telling me how to parent”.
This was 3 weeks ago, and I haven’t heard a word from Jane since. I love my sister, and I love my nephew, and I know I’m not his mum. But I feel that by prolonging his reliance on nappies, Jane is negatively affecting his development. I also feel like she’s opening him up to ridicule as he’s at the age to begin school. AIBU?