Had operation and adult kids never wished me luck or checked how I was afterwards

[dogsaremybusiness]

Disappointed

Before the operation when was the last time that you mentioned it to your DC? If you last mentioned the operation date a month before, but hadn't mentioned it since, I can understand how they might easily forget. If you'd mentioned it less than a week before, I think it's definitely reasonable to expect your DC to get in touch to ask how the op went.

Well it might well be “too much” for example if they’re not remotely close to you and there’s been a fraught and upsetting relationship history

if it was just getting cataracts removed it’s so minor I don’t think my partner particularly enquired after his mother…🤔 maybe in passing. (To compare and contrast, If it was abdominal surgery that rendered you immobile i’d expect them to get in touch)

That’s shit. One of my brothers is like this.

Do they have kids?

i had kids late and as such didn't mature enough until my 30's to realise parents can get ill and need taking care of too. It's always been one way.

But YABU. Hopefully they mature soon!

And are your brothers close to your parents?

we have NO idea about the relationship between the Op and her kids aside from the Op starting a thread to whinge about them

I took my dad for his cataract surgery and it was quite distressing for him and he had to have stitches behind his eye… I think they should have least sent a text to see how it went. It’s not always a painless simple thing.

Also @dogsaremybusiness do you have a partner?

Because if I knew DM was having a small procedure, I'd leave her alone to recover, knowing DF was with her and would soon let me know if anything was up. If it was her eyes, I wouldn't text either. I'd probably text DF 2-3 days later asking if DM was up for phone calls

It's rare to need stitches at all. 10 eyes with cataracts in my family, no stitches. The tiny infusion usually seals by itself.

I do agree that most young people would call and see if their mother was ok. She's not clarifying, but she does appear to have said that they accuse her of whining, so it seems likely there's a more complex relationship with her children than she's explained.

When my DM had cataract surgery I took the day off (twice, obv) drove her there and back again. Cooked her supper. So sorry OP. Rubbish. Get well soon x

My mother and I are close so I would definitely at least message her to ask how the procedure went and if she was feeling ok.

I can see why you feel disappointed if you have a good relationship with them.

OP is an alcoholic. That may have something to do with her children being distant.

OP did not say this in any of the posts ?

She drinks two bottles of wine a night, according to another thread of hers.

You do sound like a whinger. My dad has cataract surgery and said it was a non event. But our family is pretty stoic, we don’t make a fuss about minor procedures for attention.

I’m close with my family but we don’t treat every minor medical procedure as an excuse to cause a drama.

She has shared on other threads that she struggles with alcohol. I'd hazard a guess that it has impacted her children's lives and may play a part in this current situation.

It's cataract surgery YABU.