Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are you neurodivergent?

327 replies

fintangel · 05/10/2026 21:34

Have you been diagnosed with, or do you suspect you might have ADHD or ASD or a combination or both?

YABU = yes
YANBU = no, I’m definitely neurotypical

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock000 · 06/10/2026 07:22

YourKeenMauveJoker · 06/10/2026 07:17

This doesn't make sense. ADHD isn't a mental health problem. You can have a mental health problem and ADHD and you can have ADHD and not have a mental health problem.
The Qb test used to help diagnose ADHD is a clinical tool that is objective. It doesn't even use a human with their own ideas to give results.

When 90% of young offenders in prison are being treated for ADHD and the most reckless behaviour, unmanaged behaviour, then it very much is a mental health issue. It was a psychological disorder that often causes sufferers to have a learning disorder and emotional outbursts, not feel a bit strange in life before diagnosis, we all feel strange in life.

Itchthescratch · 06/10/2026 07:23

YourKeenMauveJoker · 06/10/2026 07:17

This doesn't make sense. ADHD isn't a mental health problem. You can have a mental health problem and ADHD and you can have ADHD and not have a mental health problem.
The Qb test used to help diagnose ADHD is a clinical tool that is objective. It doesn't even use a human with their own ideas to give results.

The Qb test isn't conclusive in itself and ultimately more subjective assesment can override the outcome.

Maisymouse2 · 06/10/2026 07:25

N.d is thr currebt trent tk throw tables and have maladjisted kids in our school classroom...so over it.
Medicate the farken kids!

VioletsTale · 06/10/2026 07:27

Maisymouse2 · 06/10/2026 07:25

N.d is thr currebt trent tk throw tables and have maladjisted kids in our school classroom...so over it.
Medicate the farken kids!

There’s no medication for Autism.

Carr0tT0p · 06/10/2026 07:28

VioletsTale · 06/10/2026 07:27

There’s no medication for Autism.

And wait lists are years.

DeafLeppard · 06/10/2026 07:30

Carr0tT0p · 06/10/2026 07:17

You mean autism is under diagnosed and women and girls are still being wrongly diagnosed with other MH conditions- BPD anyone!

The diagnostic criteria are vague and lack rigour to the point that there’s no guarantee that in a decade or so there won’t be a new outcry about people having been wrongly diagnosed with autism instead of whatever the current hot topic is.

There is almost no evidence in support of masking, for example, and yet it’s taken as gospel.

We need better understanding of the underlying physiology of neurodiverse conditions, so we can make accurate diagnoses and then attempt to intervene in a structured manner, with behavior or pharmaceutical interventions. At the moment we’re doing the equivalent of dumping most ND patients in the bucket equivalent to “cancer”, when cancer itself is a huge number of diseases with different biology that don’t respond to the same treatment, even if they share some traits (eg metastatic progression)l

Overthebow · 06/10/2026 07:30

Itchthescratch · 06/10/2026 06:50

But again the idea that having 'some' autistic traits doesn't make you autistic is subjective isn't it? There isn't a robust scientific point where suddenly someone tips from having Broader Autism Phenotype to diagnosable Autism. It's all on a continuum. Brain scans suggest any differences between BAP and Autism often aren't detectable at all or are very subtle. It is often the element of subjectivity involved in the diagnostic process that can make the difference.

I'm not denying your struggles. I'm simply suggesting that you might inadvertently be doing that to someone else by assuming that other people without a diagnosis but that are coping can't be experiencing the same traits as you. It's all subjective isn't it? They might have better coping mechanisms or be living a less difficult life. We know for example that ADHD traits can be exacerbated by environmental factors and this could be the difference between getting a diagnosis and not. The underlying neurological traits may be the same. Low demand lifestyles will highlight less functional impairment. Conversely those going through more difficult times are more likely to reach a tipping point and qualify for a diagnosis. Their underlying traits haven't changed though and they have probably been aware of them all their life

That’s the same with lots of conditions where there aren’t enough physical tests though isn’t it, there has to be a line somewhere and those that don’t meet the criteria don’t get diagnosed. That will mean that there will be some who are more borderline may fall either side of that line, but people with just some traits who aren’t close to that line just don’t have it. You can have autistic traits without having autism. Lots of the traits are normal human traits that’s many do experience, and autism isn’t just having some of those traits. The bit about being significantly impacted, that doesn’t mean just at one time in your life triggered by a hard time, it means significantly impacted during your life m including in childhood and adulthood. It’s not something you get or just comes out in later life, it’s from childhood.

VioletsTale · 06/10/2026 07:32

DeafLeppard · 06/10/2026 07:30

The diagnostic criteria are vague and lack rigour to the point that there’s no guarantee that in a decade or so there won’t be a new outcry about people having been wrongly diagnosed with autism instead of whatever the current hot topic is.

There is almost no evidence in support of masking, for example, and yet it’s taken as gospel.

We need better understanding of the underlying physiology of neurodiverse conditions, so we can make accurate diagnoses and then attempt to intervene in a structured manner, with behavior or pharmaceutical interventions. At the moment we’re doing the equivalent of dumping most ND patients in the bucket equivalent to “cancer”, when cancer itself is a huge number of diseases with different biology that don’t respond to the same treatment, even if they share some traits (eg metastatic progression)l

Any sources to support your statement about masking?

Carr0tT0p · 06/10/2026 07:33

EmeraldShamrock000 · 06/10/2026 07:22

When 90% of young offenders in prison are being treated for ADHD and the most reckless behaviour, unmanaged behaviour, then it very much is a mental health issue. It was a psychological disorder that often causes sufferers to have a learning disorder and emotional outbursts, not feel a bit strange in life before diagnosis, we all feel strange in life.

ADHD is classified primarily as a neurodevelopmental condition rather than a traditional mental health condition. ADHD relates to how the brain develops and functions, affecting executive functions like attention, impulse control, and activity levels.
Symptoms begin in childhood (usually before age 12) and often continue into adulthood. It is not caused by bad parenting, lack of discipline, or simple stress, but has strong genetic links. While not a mental health condition itself, living with untreated or unmanaged ADHD heavily impacts emotional well-being. People with ADHD are much more likely to experience secondary mental health conditions like anxiety, depression and low self esteem due to daily life challenges and burnout.

BrucesBarAndGrill · 06/10/2026 07:34

Diagnosed adhd and autism at age 36.

BugOnARugDrinkingTeaFromAMug · 06/10/2026 07:36

I am but I never thought I was. I was going down the mental health route thinking I had Borderline Personality Disorder or Bipolar. It was my therapist who suggested I should get assessed for ADHD, I didn't really know much about it.

Even after diagnosis I thought I was faking it or it was misdiagnosed.

Now I am on meds I realise they were right. The meds are a game changer.

Carr0tT0p · 06/10/2026 07:37

DeafLeppard · 06/10/2026 07:30

The diagnostic criteria are vague and lack rigour to the point that there’s no guarantee that in a decade or so there won’t be a new outcry about people having been wrongly diagnosed with autism instead of whatever the current hot topic is.

There is almost no evidence in support of masking, for example, and yet it’s taken as gospel.

We need better understanding of the underlying physiology of neurodiverse conditions, so we can make accurate diagnoses and then attempt to intervene in a structured manner, with behavior or pharmaceutical interventions. At the moment we’re doing the equivalent of dumping most ND patients in the bucket equivalent to “cancer”, when cancer itself is a huge number of diseases with different biology that don’t respond to the same treatment, even if they share some traits (eg metastatic progression)l

Well we’re not as it’s under diagnosed and hugely difficult to get a diagnosis. Also autistic women and girls are far too often being wrongly diagnosed with other conditions such as BPD. That’s what the outcry will be about alongside deaths whilst being wrongly diagnosed and in hospitals and receiving treatment that is completely not ND aware.

Carr0tT0p · 06/10/2026 07:42

VioletsTale · 06/10/2026 07:32

Any sources to support your statement about masking?

The NAS disagrees with her as does just about every other organisation in the field including BPS.

www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/behaviour/masking

Itchthescratch · 06/10/2026 07:44

DeafLeppard · 06/10/2026 07:30

The diagnostic criteria are vague and lack rigour to the point that there’s no guarantee that in a decade or so there won’t be a new outcry about people having been wrongly diagnosed with autism instead of whatever the current hot topic is.

There is almost no evidence in support of masking, for example, and yet it’s taken as gospel.

We need better understanding of the underlying physiology of neurodiverse conditions, so we can make accurate diagnoses and then attempt to intervene in a structured manner, with behavior or pharmaceutical interventions. At the moment we’re doing the equivalent of dumping most ND patients in the bucket equivalent to “cancer”, when cancer itself is a huge number of diseases with different biology that don’t respond to the same treatment, even if they share some traits (eg metastatic progression)l

Exactly this!

Talk of underdiagnosis only makes sense if the current diagnostic criteria are accurate and helpful. As a society we need to decide what direction we want to take ND. I genuinely believe this binary approach has fed into identity politics and many people are centring their sense of self on being Autistic or ADHD. Is this what we want went the diagnostic criteria lack such rigour? It it driving the outcomes we want for the individual or society?

Itchthescratch · 06/10/2026 07:46

Carr0tT0p · 06/10/2026 07:42

The NAS disagrees with her as does just about every other organisation in the field including BPS.

www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/behaviour/masking

The same BPS that stated that the DSM5 criteria was too broad? You accept their stance on masking but not that. Strange huh?

arethereanyleftatall · 06/10/2026 07:49

Isittimeformynapyet · 06/10/2026 00:15

Because there would be nothing to "diverge" from.

Then it’s just the label that’s incorrect. Doesn’t mean that people’s brains aren’t wired like that.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 06/10/2026 07:53

VioletsTale · 06/10/2026 07:27

There’s no medication for Autism.

There is medication to deal with anxiety often associated with autism.
A high number of children who don’t come from a thriving environment’s or eat a good diet, never had boundaries or expectations, never taught how to emotionally regulate until they start school are diagnosed with ADHD. Many of those children would behave differently if they were in a different environment.now they’re linked to a label, one that excuses the behaviour above.

Carr0tT0p · 06/10/2026 07:56

Itchthescratch · 06/10/2026 07:46

The same BPS that stated that the DSM5 criteria was too broad? You accept their stance on masking but not that. Strange huh?

No That is not their stance. The BPS does not have an official organisational but it hosts publications.Many BPS articles and neurodiversity advocates strongly push back against the idea of over diagnosis or a "too broad" criteria. Advocates and clinicians point out that the broadening of diagnostic criteria since the 1980s and 2013 was necessary to finally recognize marginalized groups—particularly women, girls, and older adults—who were historically missed because they mask their traits.BPS professional insights emphasize that standard NHS and private autism assessments are highly complex, multi-disciplinary, and holistic processes. They are not easily "gamed" or handed out lightly. Organisations like the National Autistic Society (frequently cited in BPS discussions) warn that tightening definitions or splitting the spectrum into rigid sub-categories could lead to discrimination, stigma, or the removal of vital support. In short, rather than declaring the diagnosis "too broad," the BPS views autism through a nuanced lens: acknowledging that while the massive expansion of the spectrum presents a challenge for targeted resource allocation, the broader definition has been an essential gateway to self-understanding and support for a previously invisible population.

Isittimeformynapyet · 06/10/2026 07:56

arethereanyleftatall · 06/10/2026 07:49

Then it’s just the label that’s incorrect. Doesn’t mean that people’s brains aren’t wired like that.

Absolutely, I don't disagree with that. I think you're on to something with the label change, and I'm sure the label will be changed at some point.

Carr0tT0p · 06/10/2026 07:58

EmeraldShamrock000 · 06/10/2026 07:53

There is medication to deal with anxiety often associated with autism.
A high number of children who don’t come from a thriving environment’s or eat a good diet, never had boundaries or expectations, never taught how to emotionally regulate until they start school are diagnosed with ADHD. Many of those children would behave differently if they were in a different environment.now they’re linked to a label, one that excuses the behaviour above.

Complete rubbish. ADHD is under diagnosed in this country. Far too many children with ADHD are struggling untreated and it’s a disgrace. Environment does not make ADHD go away.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 06/10/2026 08:00

Carr0tT0p · 06/10/2026 07:58

Complete rubbish. ADHD is under diagnosed in this country. Far too many children with ADHD are struggling untreated and it’s a disgrace. Environment does not make ADHD go away.

Environment can impact the outcome of the test.
ADHD is the latest self diagnosis. Many people who say that they have it are self diagnosed.

user1476613140 · 06/10/2026 08:01

DH is currently going through ASD assessments. DS1 was diagnosed ASD just before turning 18yo. DS2 is NT. DS3 possibly ADHD (still awaiting assessment) and DS4 definitely is autistic but has not been diagnosed yet.

I do believe the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and that I do have autism but it hasn't been looked into. I am too old to go down that road. I have known for a long time I am very different from the average woman! DH has also felt the same but he has chosen to be assessed. He said that often autistic people are often attracted to each other which might explain why we get on so well and tolerate each other's behaviours.

arethereanyleftatall · 06/10/2026 08:06

EmeraldShamrock000 · 06/10/2026 07:53

There is medication to deal with anxiety often associated with autism.
A high number of children who don’t come from a thriving environment’s or eat a good diet, never had boundaries or expectations, never taught how to emotionally regulate until they start school are diagnosed with ADHD. Many of those children would behave differently if they were in a different environment.now they’re linked to a label, one that excuses the behaviour above.

Or…in these families in poverty the parents do indeed have undiagnosed ADHD which is why they make the impulsive decisions to have children they can’t afford. The easy meals suggests a lack of executive function.

Itchthescratch · 06/10/2026 08:07

Carr0tT0p · 06/10/2026 07:56

No That is not their stance. The BPS does not have an official organisational but it hosts publications.Many BPS articles and neurodiversity advocates strongly push back against the idea of over diagnosis or a "too broad" criteria. Advocates and clinicians point out that the broadening of diagnostic criteria since the 1980s and 2013 was necessary to finally recognize marginalized groups—particularly women, girls, and older adults—who were historically missed because they mask their traits.BPS professional insights emphasize that standard NHS and private autism assessments are highly complex, multi-disciplinary, and holistic processes. They are not easily "gamed" or handed out lightly. Organisations like the National Autistic Society (frequently cited in BPS discussions) warn that tightening definitions or splitting the spectrum into rigid sub-categories could lead to discrimination, stigma, or the removal of vital support. In short, rather than declaring the diagnosis "too broad," the BPS views autism through a nuanced lens: acknowledging that while the massive expansion of the spectrum presents a challenge for targeted resource allocation, the broader definition has been an essential gateway to self-understanding and support for a previously invisible population.

The BPS does have an official stance and it was detailed in 2011 in an open letter to AMA.

The Society says it is 'concerned that clients and the general public are negatively affected by the continued and continuous medicalisation of their natural and normal responses to their experiences; responses which undoubtedly have distressing consequences which demand helping responses, but which do not reflect illnesses so much as normal individual variation'. The statement was made public in June, signed off by Dr Carole Allan, chair of the Professional Practice Board, and prepared by Professor Peter Kinderman, chair of the Division of Clinical Psychology.

They also criticise DSM 5 for not adequately accounting for psychosocial and social causes.

You are completely misrepresenting their view in your post.

The national autistic society takes a different stance but arguably they have a vested interest in this.

Whatever way you try to present it, the controversy is real. The man behind DSM IV , Allen Frances, condemned DSM 5 for diagnostic inflation and encouraging over medicalisation. This indeed could be a scandal of unprecedented proportions if history judges that the BPS and Frances are correct.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 06/10/2026 08:07

the broader definition has been an essential gateway to self-understanding and support for a previously invisible population.
True. People who had to chop the firewood, hand-wash the clothes, cook from scraps, they didn’t have the time to explore self-understanding like we do today.

Swipe left for the next trending thread