To quit my job over this woman?

[wrongrabbithole]

Ok so it’s not personal to me as I’ve seen her do it to others but wow …

This woman will escalate every single tiny thing we do that she doesn’t like. If I use a font size she doesn’t like she escalates it to my manager, I’ve seen her make my colleague cry with frustration.

I have to submit my work to her as part of risk management and even my manager has admitted she’s now just looking for anything to escalate.

it’s draining. I’m tired. This woman is protected and been there a long time. Numerous others have quit before her.

I’m at the point where I’m going to sleep and waking up with anxiety.

I worked with a woman like this . Very popular and had personal out of work friendships with management so was untouchable . If you crossed or challenged this woman it escalated and you were given a verbal warning . If she didn’t like someone then she would do her best to get this person through the door via her management mates . Some people you just can’t fight . Best to minimise contact with these people if possible.

But the manager ain't managing!
I left my job because a woman came to the office for rest and respite from another section of my organisation, and then after 6 months employed her in my section knowing full well she couldn't do the job I was doing! I ended up doing the work she couldn't do! I left the job and left them to it.

As long as you've got something else to go to. Are you applying and interviewing for other jobs already?

Life's too short to be miserable and if you've already exhausted any routes of complaint about this woman's behaviour, I'd tell your line manager that you're looking for other jobs because of her. They need to know that she is the cause of increasing staff turnover.

Oh my god I’ve got a woman like this at work and I’ve been genuinely thinking about quitting, but I can’t afford to and it’s hard to get other jobs these days. I wouldn’t quit OP. this woman at my work makes me cry too and everyone knows how bad she is. :( but unfortunately the bills need paying so I stay!

Also, I would start keeping a log of how much extra unnecessary work she is creating for you. Once you have a decent amount of evidence, go to your manager along the lines of ‘I obviously don’t mind redirecting my focus to address Betty’s issues if that is your priority for my time, but it is preventing me from doing xyz. Also, is it a good use of Betty’s time for her to pick up on this minutiae, and company time for her to be cc’ing so many people?’

This is good advice. It emphasises your concern about the company, rather than your own irritation with her.

I would also try biting back with the odd "I'm not sure that's a good use of my time, Betty. I think it's fine as it is. If you disagree, please raise it with my manager while I get on with this."

OP can you clarify what you mean by by ‘protected’ ? Do you mean she has protected characteristics ? If various people have left the company because of her behaviour and she’s still there and still engaging in that behaviour could it be that management are scared to tackle the issue properly because of those protected characteristics ? If so, then everyone at the sharp end of her behaviour has grounds for complaint.

Employers are obliged to make reasonable accommodation for those with protected characteristics, but the key word is reasonable - and that doesn’t include allowing her to make the working lives of her colleagues miserable. Any accommodations made shouldn’t impact adversely on other colleagues.

Management need to grow a backbone and tackle this properly. It doesn’t sound as though she’s suited to the job and l’d say her behaviour is bordering on harassment if it’s getting to people this much. The fact that she’s been through a disciplinary in the past and things haven’t changed is significant. Until someone steps up and makes a formal complaint with documented evidence and demands it’s followed through properly nothing will change.

The government employment regulations thingy says bullying is undermining an otherwise competent employee. Put your big girl pants on, take it to HR. Part of the reason it's so draining is because you feel so disempowered.

Even better then.

@wrongrabbithole please tell us all what gives her the protected status?

I would put in a grievance that she is undermining you and ask her to raise any concerns directly with your line manager.

It sounds like there is plenty of evidence and then when you are interviewed make sure you mention the other colleagues get the same treatment and have left because of her.

Think I would also be petty and ask her to put her reviews in writing

Then anything she says is wrong eg font size, margin spacing etc get her to put in writing what she wants.

Then do it her way.

Then next time you get a review send her a paragraph at a time for her to review as you don’t want to make a mistake. I would drive her insane with the amount of emails you send her. Asking which line she thinks reads better
Line A
or
Line B

I would get her so wound up I would be looking for her to wrongfully dismiss you or would ask HR if there were any openings elsewhere because you clearly can’t really do your job as you are making so many mistakes

Or actually talk to her and say you obviously can’t do your job to her standards
Would she be better to get someone else to do it

I put yabu because I could not quit my job over her foolishness. If even the manager can see it then you have nothing to worry about.

Definitely get her to document her 'feedback' everytime. Then ask her where these standards are documented and whether she can prioritise the changes she has made and what business impact (with evidence) this is causing. If it is not documented, suggest to her that perhaps they should and until it is done and the procedures and standards are signed off that you are more than happy to follow these. (This will serve to cause her more work!).

Follow up in an email to your manager how her behaviour is making her feel and that her 'feedback' is now causing your workload to increase by X% due to making minor corrections and followups and to confirm where in the company policy it is acceptable to discredit your work without justification with an audience. I would also ask your manager to evaluate if spending X many extra hours making corrections, seeking further review, amending standards and procedures etc is costing additional business costs that is subsequently impacting business revenue and staff morale.

Sod it, id leave if you dont particularly like it there anyway, lifes too short. But like others have said play her at her own game and drive her up the wall before you leave.

Same, I would probably also look for a new job depending on how protected she is (and if I thought they would sack me) but in the mean time I would start a full on CIA style psychological war on her.

OP you should read The Simple Sabotage Manual, its a 1944 declassified guide written by the Office of Strategic Services (the CIA's World War II predecessor) about how to slow down enemy operations from within, could be useful 😂.

My first thought was that you might have a case for constructive dismissal if you felt forced into resigning. Your employer is refusing to protect staff from this bully and that’s wrong. Are you a member of a union?

I used to work with a woman like this and she made everyone miserable. As a pp has said, it was 100% because she was unhappy in her own life so spent her days dragging everyone down with her. She wasn’t even senior to me but would spend her days nitpicking over petty, irrelevant things. She enjoyed upsetting people but if she was ever challenged on her behaviour she would cry and get away with it. Most memorable pettiness was when she came back from annual leave and went looking for things to complain about that had been done “wrong” by the temp who had covered for her. Unfortunately for her the temp was bloody brilliant (and knew everything she did would be heavily scrutinised), so there was nothing for her to complain about…but she wasn’t happy with that so held up a file to announce to us all that the temp had stapled something wrong (she hadn’t, it just wasn’t EXACTLY how she would’ve done it), at which point even her manager rolled his eyes and told her to stop being ridiculous. She - thankfully - left a few months before I went on maternity leave and it was such a relief to know she wouldn’t be there when I went back. Awful woman

Oh I'm sorry to hear that.
it's not an excuse that's for sure.

Yes definitely, leave those who encourage toxicity to be left with each other.

Thank you everyone, and for being so kind as I have been in a low place because of this. I think working remotely doesn’t help as sometimes with no drastic environment change it can add the exhaustion as there’s no “escape”.

For anyone asking about her protection .. this is just a conclusion I’ve reached that she has a bad reputation, others have left because of her, she’s already been investigated by HR. And her manager is quite high up. She’s still here so

She escalated me this morning and yesterday which I only know about because of my manager. I just don’t want to live like that, where I feel someone is watching me with the sole intention of finding anything I’ve not been 110% perfect on.

I’m honestly sat here with a tightness in my chest and arms because it’s only Tuesday and I could just cry. It almost freezes me to the point that my job feels like I’m being asked to climb Everest with just a backpack.

Sorry all very dramatic, I just hope my interview this morning went well as it sounds like a better culture and better pay.

And I’m so sorry to the people who have also experienced similar and worse.

Thank you for taking the time to share.

Being honest I don’t worry about it as a I could lose my job over it because my manger is fully aware of the situation. It’s more the mental emotional side. I looked in the mirror the other day and couldn’t believe how ugly the job was making me look.

It comes down to life is too short to be this miserable every day. I don’t even particularly like the job, like it’s fine and I could stick it out if it wasn’t for her.

I would be tempted to ask her ‘do I ever get anything right?’
See what her response is.

What happens if you ignore her. She escalates a font and you simply ignore her? Especially as your manager thinks she is ridiculous?

My work cannot progress without her approval.