To quit my job over this woman?

[wrongrabbithole]

Ok so it’s not personal to me as I’ve seen her do it to others but wow …

This woman will escalate every single tiny thing we do that she doesn’t like. If I use a font size she doesn’t like she escalates it to my manager, I’ve seen her make my colleague cry with frustration.

I have to submit my work to her as part of risk management and even my manager has admitted she’s now just looking for anything to escalate.

it’s draining. I’m tired. This woman is protected and been there a long time. Numerous others have quit before her.

I’m at the point where I’m going to sleep and waking up with anxiety.

Surely you just stop caring if she escalates? Whats going to happen? Probably nothing

@wrongrabbithole - Could you not escalate her behaviour?
@Crunchymum - 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

@wrongrabbithole just ask her if you should send your work directly to her manager to save her the job!

If you get a new job, on your last day, please flip her the middle finger whilst asking her pedantic arse to escalate that!

Find another job before you quit this one.

I’d get a new job and in your exit interview say how you loved working there but had to leave because of this women. Let them know they are loosing staff over her.

Can you just escalate back?

Hi Ms Pain in the A,
The font size selection was based on document_name, and kept the same for consistency. If requirements are evolving in this space, could you please share where you are documenting this? Perhaps you could host a lunch-and-learn to share your new requirements?

Can you teach her that tedious escalations cause her more work, and make her look bad? Never say "this is obviously stupid," but say "have you documented that," "could you add keyword searches to your documentation to make it more searchable" etc. etc. Crucially, always make it look like you aren't too invested in her mad requirements, so if management ever look into it, you can say that you're just trying to comply with her, you didn't think this was a good use of working hours.

So still ask her for it.

If she is saying it is wrong, she needs to explain why. Include her manager, your manager and if you want HR

I would absolutely be documenting each time she has pulled you up for silly reasons, include the dates, outline the impact on your MH and take the list to HR. As it isn't the first time she has been investigated, it is building a wider picture of her behaviour. I would want to see her challenged for her bullying and I would want her to know her bonkers behaviour is being scrutinised.

As you have an option to get a job elsewhere, it wouldn't harm you to make a formal complaint.

If there isnt a font policy write one yourself and get it signed off by your manager.

Next time she givrs feedback. It has to be in writing. Also its just feedback, not a directive. Say ' thanks for your feedback, its fine as it is'

I would also point out to her she is not your manager. Also, dont take it personally. Its her way. And stop moaning to everyone about her. Makes it seem worse iyswim.

OMG, Is it Helen?! We had her at my previous work place! She was unbearable and kept trying to tell everyone how to do their job even though she was not half as qualified as any of us! Unbelievably patronising and also incredibly annoying. She would often tell clients that we would deliver project plans etc. the next day when they involved several hours of work and we already had a lot lined up. I complained finally as she was impossible to work with and she was a real bully. The organisation did nothing and tried to say she didn’t mean to be patronising. I had email examples of it where she was undermining me in front of clients and senior members of staff.

So I found a better job and quit. My mental health is worth more than being subjected to that daily! Funnily enough after I put in my resignation I heard from nearly everyone in the team that they found her really hard work. No one liked her and she constantly threw other people under the bus! All the people I had hired left after I quit. So one person caused the attrition of 11 team mates!! A prime example of an organisation not nipping bullying behaviour by someone who has been in the organisation for a while. It just causes other people to leave. I heard they finally got rid of her a year later but by then our entire team who had to work closely with her had quit.

OP, you’re being bullied and it’s not ok or normal. Over time, this behaviour from her wears the innocent recipients like you down and long term causes stress and MH issues, as well as reduced productivity. Multiple people appear to have already left because of this woman. Start documenting everything she does in a notebook - keep it off your work computer and for each incident/behaviour you note with date and time, write down how it impacted your ability to work/produce fruit, Also contact ACAS now for advice, especially as you say your company doesn’t have a process. Do you have HR?

She sounds awful and given a few have quit because of her and HR has done fuck all about it tells you everything you need to know, the situation won’t change.

Sounds like you’re on your way out anyway, quit once you’ve got an offer secured. Good luck!

“Helen” is a prime example of someone who should be on the dole and kept away from
civilised society, but unfortunately people like her continue to be enabled to force others into that, while she stays in work appearing normal, maintaining financial stability and opportunity, and building her pension. She represents a small minority of people who cause this havoc, but the real enemy is the people who enable her and pretend she’s ok really.

We’ve got one where I am - a senior member of staff who has been tolerated for a long time - and I have a colleague who, like our OP and their predecessors, is half way out the door. I’ve already raised my issues with this person informally with HR (haven’t put in a formal grievance yet because of the risk that carries) but I’ve stayed because I’m good at my job and I’m stubbornly refusing to be forced out. I wish I was above this person, I’d have got rid of them by now!

I think you should shut her down whenever she does it - look at her perplexed as if you can’t fathom why she cares, and say things like ‘how weird you even care about this stuff’, or a cheeky ‘you’re such a grass’ when she goes to the manager. Highlight that she’s being odd and make her feel uncomfortable.

She’s potentially still here as she had a first warning for bullying, if you raise a grievance this might be her final written warning. I bloody well would do, I would starting collecting evidence now, dates, times, what she did, how she did it. Then I would raise the grievance. In the meantime I would be looking for other jobs as a back up but I wouldn’t take it lying down.

good luck.

I had a micro manager like this and it does get under your skin. The feeling of dread before work and feeling utterly drained at the end of the day. I couldnt quit because we needed the money and jobs were scarce.

In hindsight I can see it was a generally toxic company with a bullying culture. Eventually I got a much better job in a far nicer place.

Good luck with your interviews.

Op Have been in your position with bullies at work. The issue is that the management are too frightened to deal with her obviously. Let me guess she has been there some time maybe has a following of other people who she wants to brag to or show off in front of? If you are unsuccessful with your interviews I would take this issue to HR and would document what this individual has done over the years to upset you and others.

Then ask them why is she still here upsetting people?

My son in law had a similar situation at his employment, female power crazy, early to work domineering people left because of her attitude, they obviously have no like outside work. He left after trying to locate a job for some months and could not be happier at his new place.

Good luck OP

I feel for you OP I had a similar experience some years ago and I could see no way out of it except to leave, but I needed the job/money, as soon as I got another job I was out of the door, and subsequently found that everyone who worked with her after I went, lasted a very short time, one only three days!
The anxiety I felt every day before work was crippling, and I would have said previously I was not like that. I raised a complaint but was pooh-poohed as she had been there so long and I was a relative newcomer.
Good luck, I hope you can get a new job ASAP.

Bloody hell. I’ve had to review some batshit behavioural policies regarding schools lately. They’d be up this woman’s street - searching for things to complain about and pointlessly escalating petty things.

choices:

•leave (get another role first)
•discuss directly with her or your manager or HR
• use her pettiness to increase her workload (some excellent ideas in this thread)

Are the jobs you’ve got interviews for more appealing than this one? If not, it could be worth trying to change things where you are - she has previous, so although nothing was done about her before, there might be a snowball effect.

In what way is this woman “protected”?

I would turn this around on her……every time there’s a piece of work to create I would ask her first which font to use, text size, line spacing, anything underlined, anything in bold, margin specification, use of italics, use of uppercase……..generally every bloody thing she could potentially pick fault with!
If she questions why…….just respond with “ well, you always reject because of something or other so I thought I get the facts straight to save you the bother”!

My micro manager wasnt actually any good at her own job and was being bullied herself from above. Eventually she had a breakdown and just didnt turn up one day.

Her work got added to mine but this was better than her nitpicking.

One day I got a better job, actually the same core work. 50% more salary, much better benefits. And yet I got asked why I was leaving!?! It was a strange company, toxic at all levels but people tolerated it.

The important part is that she is a shared not personal problem. If managers refuse to act (and they really should) then you should try to see her simply as an office inconvenience, like temperamental heating or glitchy IT. Something to have a tut about, then ignore as best you can if you're otherwise happy there.
If she keeps creating extra work over minor things, you need to go above her head and ask a manager if they want you to action her pedancy.

Everyone already knows she is a time waster and will ignore her constant escalations. Take any valid feedback, ignore the rest.

Look for opportunity to move internally.

Keep a log of everything she’s don that undermines you. Include emails if you have them. Include witnesses too if you can.

(send anything negative from her to a personal email address too so nothing disappears).

Then raise a grievance against her for bullying behaviour. Make the management deal with her.

Meanwhile, ignore her as best you can. Remember, this woman probably has a miserable life and that’s why she likes her little power trips at work. In your head, laugh at the sad, pathetic creature.