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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

according to one mnetter, i am an unfit parent because

28 replies

stitch · 30/06/2008 23:47

ds has broken his 10th? or 11th (i've lost count) pair of glasses since february. he has broken three this week. he has run out of nhs vouchers. aibu in refusing to replace them?
we have had to pay to replace two lots of braces. aibu in not wanting to replace the current set when he lsoes them? we have also had to pay for dental hygienist as nhs doesnt cover this
lets not even start on school uniform. his swimsuit is currently somewhere in the school cloakroom, all wet and scrunched up since it was used on thursday.
his raincoat has been awol for a few weeks now.
wwwhat else? he hasnt been palyin gon his psp for a few weeks. is it becayse he is bored of it, or something more sinister? maybe he has lost the charger?

so, am i an unfit parent then?

OP posts:
stillovefoxes · 30/06/2008 23:50

I think you just have a very careless ds. I was a very forgetful, clumsy child, My poor mum used to despair.

avenanap · 30/06/2008 23:50

Not at all. You have a child that keeps breaing his glasses. Braces are expensive and are not seen as a necessity so are not paid by the NHS.

I'm not surprised you're pissed off. Who said this?

Alambil · 30/06/2008 23:51

is he dyspraxic?

I think YABU to not replace glasses - they are needed, braces are optional; lose them and suffer bad teeth, and uniform is totally unavoidable.

so overall, yanbu but perhaps back down on the specs

avenanap · 30/06/2008 23:53

Can't you get insurance for specs incase he breaks them? That way you won't have to fork out again. Boots have a half price sale at the moment.

Original poster
stitch · 30/06/2008 23:54

tbh, he has a pair waiting to be picked up from the opticians, but when he came home withthe last lot broken, in an accident, caused no doubt by hm playing with them, i kind of lost it. so making him go around without them for a while so he wil l hopefully appreciate the gift of sight when he regains it.
it was the thread starte d in respons to th epe thread. according to that woman, i am incredibly unfit parent,

OP posts:
MadamePlatypus · 30/06/2008 23:54

Could you mend the glasses so that they are wearable? I think they do need to be replaced (presumably without them he can't see?), but perhaps you could not spend money on something else.

Original poster
stitch · 30/06/2008 23:55

he isnt dyspraxic. just incrediby careless

OP posts:
Alambil · 30/06/2008 23:55

oh well that's ok IME - a life lesson.

I thought you meant you weren't going to replace them at all! (sorry)

Losing it is OK too - sometimes kids need to know just how far they've gone

JodieG1 · 30/06/2008 23:59

I think making him go without glasses to prove a point is wrong. It's manipulative and horrible imo. Sorry but my dd wears glasses and I know how awful it is for her when she takes them off, why do that do your child?

Proving a point by humilating him as he can't see? You are being VERY unreasonable imo.

Original poster
stitch · 01/07/2008 00:00

mp. done that many times now.

OP posts:
Alambil · 01/07/2008 00:01

how does he break them?

Original poster
stitch · 01/07/2008 00:02

jodie, th eproblem is, his sight isnt that terrile. 1.75 and 2.25.
i know how important glasses are, 5.5 and 5.75.
he seems to think they are like apples, or bananas, completely free, and something mom rams down his throat.

OP posts:
muggglewump · 01/07/2008 00:02

You have to replace the glasses but maybe talk to him about the breaking?
I say this as someone that doesn't know you, I think maybe the other folk that answered do? They were quite nice if not.

That can't go on and possibly careless because you replace them constantly.
What do you do when he breaks them?

Original poster
stitch · 01/07/2008 00:03

most recent was , they fell of his face, and year two child stepped on them
last monday was an accident whilst playng ball game during pe lesson
the time before that, somthing during camping trip.
always some excuse, and always someone elses fault. but i see him, sitting there playing with his glasses all the time.

OP posts:
JodieG1 · 01/07/2008 00:03

How old is he?

BetteNoire · 01/07/2008 00:03

How about a small reward at the end of each week if he brings home
a) swimming stuff
b) all uniform
c) undamaged glasses
d) braces

Have a chat with him about how grown up you think he is getting (I have no idea how old he is, btw), and how you're going to trust him with a bit more responsibility - and reward him if he can do it.

Big him up with anticipation that he'll be able to do these things, and offer a small reward so that it is at the back of his mind to be more careful?

Original poster
stitch · 01/07/2008 00:04

11

OP posts:
Alambil · 01/07/2008 00:05

How do they just fall off a face?! Surely they fit correctly!

I can see why you're at the end of your tether; he appears, from what you've said, to have no respect for his belongings whatsoever

MarsLady · 01/07/2008 00:06

I feel your pain stitch! I feel your pain!

Original poster
stitch · 01/07/2008 00:08

he plays around wit them
hold s them by one arm, and twirls them. that messes up their fitting
he also takes them off his nose, but dangles them from his ears. that also messes up their fitting
shoves them up his face onto his forhead. messes up the fitting.

agree it is a complete lack fo respect.

OP posts:
muggglewump · 01/07/2008 00:08

"but i see him, sitting there playing with his glasses all the time. "

How do you deal with that?
Is he allowed to do it, and why does he play with his glasses?

Original poster
stitch · 01/07/2008 00:11

he isnt allowed to do that. but how do you stop an 11 year old from doing something?
anything else, i would remove from him, but cant do that to either glasses or braces.
tired yelling at him. tried talking to him. tried ignoring him. tried being reasonable withim.
now trying the withdrawal.

OP posts:
beaniesteve · 01/07/2008 00:11

could you get insurance?

wrinklytum · 01/07/2008 00:13

Could you say to him the next time he breaks his glasses he will need to replace them using his pocket money??Does he realise how expensive they are?

Have you tried those memoryflex ones that are slightly less breakable?

Original poster
stitch · 01/07/2008 00:13

will be looking into this soon.
do you know anythng about it?

OP posts: