Around a month ago, I posted about my pregnancy and how my ex bf left me after finding out about it.
So, a update. He actually came back, but not because I called him or chased him. I didn't contact him at all. I was already okay with raising my kid alone, and I'm financially comfortable, so I wasn't depending on him for anything.
His mom actually reached out to me first, asked about my health and everything, and made it clear that she was going to be there for me and the baby no matter what. I was honestly grateful because at least someone from his side cared. We met at a cafe, and she was really supportive. A few days later, his sister also reached out.
I was pretty close to his family before all this, so seeing them care about me and their grandchild meant a lot. Not once did I ask them for financial support or ask them to bring their son back (the sarcasm lol).
But honestly, it also made me wonder what kind of asshole I fell in love with. This is his child too, his first child, literally growing inside me, and he couldn't even check on me once while his own family was doing it.
Thankfully, I have a really good support system. My mom, dad, brother and sisters have been there for me throughout everything. My mom or one of my sisters usually comes with me to my checkups, and thankfully, both the baby and I are doing well.
Anyway, last week, my ex texted me asking if he could come over to our apartment. The funny thing is, I've been paying the bills for the past two months myself, lol. I said okay, and he showed up with some food and medical supplies I needed.
I was still really angry with him, but I didn't want to create a scene, so I let him talk.
He apologized for the last two months, admitted he was wrong about the wedding, and said he panicked when he found out about the baby and genuinely didn't know what to do. He said he did care about me and the baby, even though his actions definitely didn't show that.
He also knew about the conversations I'd had with his mom and sister, so apparently they'd been talking to him about everything.
He told me he wants to be involved in my life and the baby's life. I told him that if he genuinely wants to be a father, I'm not going to stop him because this is his child too.
But I also made it clear that I can't just jump back into a relationship where I don't feel safe or secure. I still love him, but after the way he handled everything, I don't know if I can trust him again.
I told him that if he wants to be with me, I want us to get married before the baby is born. Not because I need his money or because I can't raise this child alone, but because I don't want to be in a relationship where I have to constantly wonder if he'll disappear again when things get difficult. Otherwise, we're perfectly capable of co-parenting.
Honestly, I expected him to argue or ask for more time, but he didn't even think much about it. He just said okay, he'd marry me.
I told him I needed time to think about everything.
And now I'm confused as hell.
I still love this man. That's the problem. Part of me is happy that he's back and wants to take responsibility, but another part of me keeps remembering how he left me alone for two months during one of the most vulnerable periods of my life.
My family is supportive regardless of what I decide, and I don't need him financially. I can raise my baby on my own if I have to. But I also don't want to make a decision based purely on anger when I still have feelings for him.
So, I genuinely want an outside perspective. Am I making a mistake by even considering marrying him? Should I give him a chance to prove himself first, or is it better to keep things strictly about co parenting?