AIBU to feel hurt he did not check after surgery?

[TheOpalFox]

Major surgery and he couldn’t even text me saying hope I’m okay.

he left me 2 months ago after 4 years together
how do they lose feelings that’s quick????? How?

he couldn’t even text saying hope I’m okay ?
pl

Because you've separated, he doesn't owe you anything. He didn't get in touch when you told him about your surgery so I'm not sure why you're surprised?

This is why you separated though isn’t it? Because he’s a shit human.

Oh not you again with the same thread.

It’s because he’s trying to get away from you and your nonsense .

You again? Going by your history here, it's no surprise he wants no contact at all.

You have to stop posting about him and get some help in real life from people who can actually help you.

I greatly empathise with you OP, you’re clearly struggling but you won’t get the help you need here.

OP kindly.. he didnt text you when you told him about the surgery, he didnt message on the day of the surgery he was never going to contact you after it.

If anything use this to propel your recovery! Hes made it clear that its done. It doesnt matter how or why or what he is able to do. Have you spoken to a therapist? Can you distract yourself? I appreciate after surgery you may be limited but can you fill you mind with other thoughts.

Plainly you are not over the break up so it would be cruel to give you false home and get in touch. You need to find a way to move on.

@TheOpalFox it’s shitty OP but as you can see other posters here think it’s fine. I completely get why you’re upset. You’re a far better person than him and if I were you I would take that forward now and know that at some point you will meet someone worthy of your love and empathetic nature. Hope you feel better soon x

Most likely didn't have feelings for along time before he left. Forget about him.

Again, please get some counselling.

Or at lease engage with the support you're being offered here.

How many threads is it now 20?

Not this again.

Other people are obviously aware of the backstory, which I'm not - but I'm surprised you would expect a text from someone who has broken up with you.

Why would he ask if you are ok? He doesn't care if you are ok or not and presumably doesn't want to open the channels to a conversation with you about anything.

He's far better off continuing with the clean break.

If he sent you a text, you'd be all over Mumsnet asking 'But what does it mean? Does he still love me' etc etc.

And probably bombarding him with texts again.

I hope you're recovering well but you cannot expect him to want to risk texting.

Ah OP let it go. He's not coming back to you. Leave him alone. Hope you feel better soon.

I’m sorry you have had surgery and you probably feel shitty and vulnerable.

But your relationship is over, he doesn’t owe you anything. Have you friends and family who can support you?

You’re going to get done for harassment if you don’t leave him alone. Black his number for your own good. And get professional help. While you’re obsessing over him you have a child you’re responsible for.

Well done on going through with the op; there was a moment when you first mentioned it when I thought you'd defer it for a while.
I hope your son is forcing you to get plenty of rest, and is doing any heavy jobs around the place.

As for the EX: given the way you have made absolutely zero progress emotionally since he split with you, and since he knows how desperately you always clung to your (erroneous) image of the relationship, I think his lack of contact is a very good thing.
He knows that giving you one atom of contact to misinterpret as care or affection (to be translated by you into ‘proof of his major loving commitment’) would be catastrophic.
Even had your 4 years with him (well, kind of ‘with him’) been sheer bliss throughout and you'd parted amicably, there’s really little reason for an ex to check up on their ex’s hospital stay.
For any number of reasons, all commonplace and nothing to do with you, he probably has plenty of other things in his mind now.

To everyone with sympathy for this poster - he blocked her in August, it was well after that that she got the surgery date so he probably has no idea.

OP has over 20 threads about this poor man, and does not engage with any of them so your ‘advice’ simply floats through the clouds unread.

OP has done nothing to help herself but simply posts again and again.

OP next week - “I’m heartbroken, the love of my life broke my heart, we are two souls entwined, doesn’t he care about me?”

OP the week after next - “My twin soul didn’t bother to ask me how my surgery recovery is going, I am heartbroken”.

OP the week after that - well, you get the picture.

Because he's moved on. Because all the same answers you got last time to your last post.

Why can’t he care tho :(

These posts are getting annoying, OP.
He hasn't checked in because he's likely trying to preserve his sanity which has indubitably regained by distance from you.

Have you actually read any of peoples comments on this thread? Or any of your other threads?

Honestly, you're going to lose any shred of sympathy people may have for you OP by posting the same shit all the time.

You have kids? Concentrate on them, I dread to think how your romantic dramas have impacted on them. Are they safe and looked after with all the weeping and wailing and hand wringing?

No doubt this comment will get deleted but the numerous TAAT the OP starts will be allowed to stand!

For the same reason that rain falls down and not up. Because this is how it is, and no amount of wailing will change it.
It’s very hard to understand how you can’t grasp where he is at. If he cared in the way you want him to, he’d be with you.
You yourself told us of a major reason he gave for leaving you, yet you’ve taken no bloody notice of it and continue in exactly the same vein ever since.
As they say on imported tv series: “Do the math(s)”.

Because your looking for a sign or a flicker of hope that things might reignite between you both and he is sure they won’t. If he contacts you it’s sending the wrong message. It’s kinder this way.