AIBU to expect a dog-free area in a restaurant?

[Diorling]

Hi,

I recently met up with my family for lunch at Bills at Clark’s Village in Somerset. It’s not an area I know, but looked to be good for a meet up. it was a lovely sunny warm day and folks were out enjoying their shopping. It was a great atmosphere.

It was pretty empty in Bills as we were early. The waiters were lovely and showed us to a table, and we were busy looking through the menu when I smelt a fairly unpleasant smell. I looked up, and a family were being sat at the next table. The smell was coming from their dog, which was being sat right next to me, rather than on the other side where there was an empty table. It wasn’t a dog that sat nicely on the floor and went to sleep either - it kept on trying to move towards me and the family.

Now I like dogs, grew up with them, and have had my own, but one of the children was attacked at the park by a random one once ( it ran up to him), and he is now terrified by dogs. The dog kept edging towards him, and he kept trying to shrink away along the long bench seat as far as he could. Not only that, but frankly the smell was appalling.

i spoke quietly to the waiter, explained the issue, and he moved us to another table in the opposite corner. It’s a large restaurant, so problem sorted. Except it wasn’t. Within 5 minutes they had shown another family to the table next to us - despite most of the spaces still being empty. They too had a dog, but this time it was lifted onto the seat (and later laps of the family). Again it was right next to us. Whilst I love dogs I don’t expect to have their nose by my elbow and frankly don’t think it’s very hygienic.

I complained to the restaurant but they explained they were dog friendly, and even had a dog menu (‘Bone Appetit’).

Now that’s fine - if I had known it. But as I pointed out, there were no signs anywhere to that effect, nothing on entering - and apparently no dog free area for those who prefer not to eat near dogs. Obviously we won’t go there again (a pity, as staff are lovely and the food was good - if you have dogs, and are round there, it’s a great place to go.)

But for the rest of us, I just don’t like dogs around when I eat out - and if they have to be there, then surely their place is sleeping quietly on the floor?

AIBU?

Yes, this would definitely be helpful. Nobody should have to look it up on the internet. It should be clearly stated.

Every time a new cafe or coffee shop opens near us, they advertise on our community Facebook page. Or sometimes an existing business advertises or does a promotion. The comments are always full of people asking if they’re dog friendly. The answer is invariably yes. We have no cafes or coffee shops in our area that aren’t dog friendly. But I only know that from Facebook. There is no notice on their premises. We don’t go into any of the local ones due to severe allergies in the family. An antihistamine won’t do for DP, he needs his inhaler. Not much fun. He doesn’t react to all dogs, but it’s not worth the risk.

It’s usually on a website and if it’s a small business they will have a sign before you walk in. It’s literally sign posted on Bills website so obviously

My dog loves going to restaurants and cafes. We were on a walking holiday last week, so we were out a few times in dog friendly places. He got a dog meal from the restaurant, all the customers and staff came to say hi and fussed him, people gave him treats. They approached him, not vice versa. He brought a smile to everyone's faces.

As soon as mine enters a coffee shop, even if it's one he has never been in before, he sits like a good boy and looks for a jar of treats, because most dog friendly places have them.

If it's a dog friendly venue, it's a suitable venue for a dog!

If people don't like dogs, that's absolutely fine, and if they don't want to go to somewhere dog friendly, then that's on them to check the place out first. Exactly the same way us dog owners do, we check out where is dog friendly when out and about.

There is a venue for everyone if people just check and think first.

That's called ableism. There's also disability discrimination.

Maybe the person with allergies, anxiety or immunocompromised wants to go there to socialize or eat. That doesn't make them stupid!!

That's not true.

There are a lot of illnesses someone can get from handling a dog or being in close contact. Maybe yours never goes outdoors or licks itself or anything else but most do pick up alot of germs.

A dog that's had the kennel cough vaccine recently is a risk to anyone having cancer treatment or immunocompromised as it's a live vaccine.

I love dogs! I have had my own and I used to do dog sitting.

But - I really don't enjoy the experience of having dogs in restaurants. Even well behaved ones - you can still smell them, they shake hairs in the air, they do bark at each other, and are often stressed with noise and smells.

Never mind the anal glands

also raw fed dogs can carry really nasty germs in their saliva

We went to a pub once when DD was a baby, literally weeks old. We were told no children, but we were allowed to sit outside if we wanted. It was quite unpleasant weather for sitting outside so we left and have never been back. On-line the pub is super positive to allowing dogs, but is strictly no kids. Our DD is 20 now and we wouldnt go there out of principle.....but I guess that strategy must work well for them, or they wouldnt still be there 20 years later.

My local pub is like that. No kids, but dogs are allowed.
It is a CAMRA pub. A proper real ale place. No food apart from crisps.
I do not see anything wrong with that at all.

I was in a pub with work friends and one of them reacted badly to a dog on the premises. He didn’t touch the dog but he face was swelling in from t of my eyes. With my own allergies I had antihistamines on me so I gave him one a few to take immediately but it was very quick and scary to see.

It will stop working if people leave a few negative reviews on Google. I would.

By people who have not even been there?
Kid free pubs are bliss and should be protected. No child needs to be in a ale pub.

The issue is that dog friendly venues far, far outnumber dog free venues these days. I don't have a problem with it but lots of people do.

Dogs are literally over running public spaces. Imagine being a child who is scared of dogs. Where can you go and be sure you won't be sharing close space with them ? Only playgrounds now..parks are full of them. Cafes and restaurants and shops.

Today in a very nice bar/cafe we had lunch in...our neighbours put their dog ON the table.

This is just commonplace.

I no longer even ask for owners to obey rules like being on a lead where it is required as they are without exception deeply unpleasant in response and I hate my children witnessing it.

I didnt say there was anything wrong with it, I guess i was surprised they prioritise dogs over children....its their choice. we just dont go there (even though our children are old enough) but obviously lots of people like it

It isn't obvious with Bills at all. They didn't used to allow dogs. I went to one in the SW and had to leave as I'm allergic and despite explaining and despite loads of empty tables they were really unhelpful so we just left.

But they aren't going to have the stats on how many people have decided to not go to these establishments have they so actually they must be missing out. My DH isn't allergic but he can't stand it. It depends though I suppose I prefer proper restaurants that are not really Bills standard - we were desperate as late at night when we left the SW one. High end places don't usually have dogs, it is usually places that sell burgers and pub grub.

Thank you for your post. I’ve realised through this that we are in just that situation. Where do we take a child who is terrified of dogs?

we are doing our best to get him help to overcome his fears, but at the moment it is what it is.

I really feel for those with allergies.

So do I, but some dog owners don't care. I can understand if you are a dog owner and you are out for the day with your dog that you want a dog friendly cafe.

But how come we now have so many needy dogs that dog owners can't even leave them for 2 or 3 hours to go out for an evening meal?

What have you tried so far? Your son is going to encounter dogs everywhere he goes. His life would be much richer if he was helped to overcome his fear rather than spending the rest of his life avoiding dogs. I used my old, very placid dog to help my friend's daughter overcome her fear. If you can find the right dog who is calm and friendly enough to allow stroking but not too friendly that they'll pester, it can really help to introduce them and gradually build time and proximity. She still wouldn't voluntarily go up to a dog but she's now quite happy if they're running around her in a park or sitting at the next table in a cafe.

I don't think people do take their dogs out for an evening meal do they? Not in a proper restaurant anyway. I suppose there's probably more in touristy places but that will be because most holiday cottages do not allow you to leave a dog unattended in the property so you have to take them everywhere.

So you think all of these hundreds or even thousands of dog friendly places have all got it wrong and are all losing money because they let dogs in? Seriously?! You are right and all of those thousands of businesses are wrong? Have a think about the likelihood of that! There are some terrible business people out there that make mistakes but for huge swathes of the sector to all be choosing to let dogs in, surely a bit of common sense must tell you that it pays. Or maybe when they switched from not having dogs to being dog friendly they did the maths? I think you need to accept tjat letting dogs in is good business. They may lose you, but they'll gain plenty of others.

I think it’s just that dog people are, on the whole, a pushy and entitled breed. You only need to ask around and most people would prefer that people don’t bring their dogs to restaurants and cafes and shops but the dog people are bullish and this is where we are.

There’s another active thread where the poster took her baby to dinner at 7pm and they seated her upstairs because they allow dogs downstairs. So apparently yes some people do take their dogs for dinner at 7pm.

I have been to Bills several times over the years and never noticed a dog in there. So no, it was completely reasonable for op not to feel the need to suddenly check their website to see if there might be a dog in there. It is a standard restaurant, not a pub.