AIBU to be annoyed DH convinced me not to go for drinks because he was tired, then went by himself?

[HotCrossBunplease]

DS is at his friend’s house. Both DH and I are friendly with the parents and were invited to drinks when we picked DS up. I was up for doing that.

DH and I got home from work separately, chatted and he said he was knackered after a long week at work so we agreed that just one of us would go, collect DS and come home for dinner and TV. He went and I started making dinner. It’s a 15 mins drive.

20 minutes later I received a message “Just having drinks and pizza here, you could come over on a Lime Bike if you fancy but guess you’re not that fussed ? Xx”

I am so pissed off. Now I look like the miserable antisocial one!

AIBU?

He’s having soft drinks.

Yes, don't be annoyed, just go if you want to. If not, just relax.

What a tosser!!!!

What an absolute twat. I’d go out for the evening if it were me. Also cannot believe he suggested you get a lime bike.. no uber/cab offer?! He sounds very impressionable.

Oh, I thought he meant he was having drinks drinks, so can’t even use alcohol as the excuse..sounds like he didn’t want you to go ?

Just tell him "I am fussed. I wanted to go and I would be there already, except you said you were too tired, so we made other plans. Now I am here on my own and to top it off I have wasted time making you dinner."
It's really thoughtless.

I agree. Why doesnt he want you there I wonder?

They were both home by 8.15. One of us was always driving, it was never going to be a big night out.

I should add that, knowing the hosts as I do, I did comment to him before he left that they’d suck him in and he swore it would not happen. He now claims I should just have come with if I was so sure…

His justification is that when he arrived the family said they had just ordered pizza and he thought it would be rude to just leave.

Even DS (age 10) pointed out that he had no problem being rude to his own wife by not just politely heading home.

Anyway we’re all fine now. I have said my piece…

It's annoying, to be fair to him, I suspect it was just a change of heart once they got chatting and he didn't think you'd mind. Obviously, not surprised you're annoyed and what a dumb message, naturally I'm not surprised you don't fancy biking over in the cold and dark on your own. In your shoes though, I'd take advantage, eat whatever you want, pour yourself a vino and watch a tv show they don't like/run a bath/read a good book and enjoy some alone time. Maybe text the parents tomorrow saying you'd planned to go
It's just one of those things, he's not thinking how it makes you look or that rhe change of plans will be frustrating. I'd not hold a grudge about it

Oh I’m pissed off on your behalf. What a prick.

FYI: on MN you can change your vote right up until the vote closes.

It probably wasn’t malicious but it is annoying. I have a friend who’s a bit like this. And like your husband they won’t even apologise properly or see the wrong in what they’ve done.

Even on the app? How?

YABU for not going in the first place when you wanted to.

Why didn't you? Your DH is allowed to feel knackered, he doesn't need you to hold his hand and stay home watching tv with him?

Of course it's a dick move to then change HIS mind and stay, but you should have been there in the first place.

This is what would piss me off as well. I would have responded by saying No it was you that did not want to go so I agreed we stay in.

What a tosser. I’d be furious.

Good for your DS!!!

Another Dickhead Husband!

Good grief, what a fuss over nothing. You could just eat your dinner and his, open a bottle of wine and enjoy a nice solo evening.

That would really piss me off.
But learn from it and remind him of this going forward.
He's not to be believed when he says something.

Love your son's response

Mate- I’d absolutely screw!!!

This is exactly what I would do, why does everything seem a drama

Apparently you can't change it on the app, or so someone told me yesterday. I don't use the app myself.